She's not so sure when missing him became so real. He's uncertain when her absence was more than just disappearance of another familiar face.

She sees him in the strangest moments, pictures him in situations with her that they never got to, the family home and kids. She misses him.

He sees her on their wedding day, remembers the vows and wonders now why she seems so far away.

LA

"Addison," Pete's voice startles her and she turns to see him looking at her with deep concern.

"Hi," she looks down at her papers not really seeing them, rustling through the various documents hoping she looks busy.

"You've been quiet for the last few weeks," he never presses her.

"I know," she doesn't say much else.

"How about I drive you home?" His voice is gentle and soothing

Suddenly that's easier than driving herself home, easier than missing him in the silence of a trip alone.

Seattle

Her high voice filters through his consciousness and he focuses on her blonde hair.

"Derek, are you ready?" she's so very different from the woman he married so many years ago. That's a good thing; he loves her and wants a life with her. She was just an intern not so long ago however, now she's newly a resident with interns to guide. He can't blame her for not wanting the life he's had planned for them. The problem is, he's been waiting so long.

LA

The drive is quiet on the way back to her house, Pete says little at all. When he finally pulls up he opens his mouth and she waits before she steps out.

"You can call him you know, it's allowed." His eyes show compassion and she feels ashamed.

"I miss him," looking down at her hands, "I can't believe I do."
"Good night," he doesn't dwell on it, but merely smiles and then waits until she's inside.

Her cell phone with his number is in her pocket, pouring a glass of wine and listening to the ocean surf she steps out on the porch and dials his number.

Seattle/LA

He is unpacking the food they bought. She isn't ready for the life he wants, but food and casual sex seem fine. He's older, so much older. He can't push, otherwise it'll never work. His phone starts ringing and glancing at the caller ID he's taken by surprise.

"Addison," the sound of his voice brings tears to her eyes and she fights for her composure.

"Derek," it's just a single word and he's worried about her, so he asks her if she's okay.

"I'm fine," she wipes a tear from her cheek and takes a sip of her wine, "I just wanted to call you because I don't have Richard's number anymore and I wanted to see how he and Adele are doing," it's her easy way out.

"Sure hang on," he passes Meredith who glances at him distractedly.

"Who is it?" her voice is close to his ear, and he sighs inwardly, "it's not work, I'll be right back."
Addison tries not to feel hurt when she hears his exchange with Meredith, pain shouldn't be a factor anyone, yet she just can't help it sometimes.

"Here it is," he's back and her throat tightens again.

He gives her the number and she pretends to scribble it down.

"Everything is okay though?" It almost sounds like he cares and she likes to pretend he does.

"It's different, but a good different."

"I'm glad to hear that, you didn't really say goodbye," he isn't angry, and oddly enough he isn't even that surprised.

"I'm sorry, I did to Richard, I just couldn't to everyone else. It was never…" her voice trails off.

"Never?" he waits.

"There was never a good time, it didn't feel right," she isn't making sense but her other sentence, that it was never a place she felt welcome and at home in wasn't a good answer.

"It's okay," he is smiling and she can almost see it in her mind.

"I have to go, dinner's almost ready," he isn't being mean, just stating facts and so she hesitates wondering how to say good bye.

He does it for her, "Bye Addi," the nickname strikes her core and she fights a sob as she quietly says good night.

Watching the 4 minute call time blink on her screen before it reverts to her home screen she curses her past and how weak she feels.

Derek hangs up and makes his way to Meredith's side.

"Everything okay?" she isn't really asking and he knows that a vague simple answer will suffice.

He finishes unpacking his mind still on Addison's voice, she sounded tired, overwhelmed and almost tearful. He stops mid-task frozen, that's what it was in her voice, tears. Without even thinking he's back in his office dialing her number.

Addison is pulled out of her steady wine drinking by her phone, she almost chokes as her eyes read "D", somehow she never changed that to Derek. Why is he calling her back? She can't even imagine and so she slowly picks up the phone and answers hello.