I hate him...I hate that he almost left me...I hate that he never said good-bye...I hate the way he teases and irks me...I hate the way his smile melts my heart...I hate the way he got jealous of Renji when we were together...

I hate myself...I hate myself because I was wrong...I hate myself because I was selfish...I hate myself because I refused to open my eyes...I hate the way I blush when he's around...and most of all...

I hate myself for not being strong enough to let him go.

I sighed as I looked out my window early that morning. Why do I keep thinking about him? I looked in the mirror. I was blushing. Damn...I didn't notice. Because you're too busy daydreaming about a certain someone? I growled. What did I tell you about bothering me while I'm thinking? I internally shouted at my voices.

"Kimikoooo, breeeakfaaaast!" my mother sing-songed from downstairs. I smiled and ran downstairs.

"Morning Mother, Father!" I greeted my parents with a smile. My father rolled his eyes and set his paper aside.

"Why is it that during the summer, you're always up, but during the school year, you're always late?" I shrugged and tapped my head.

"It's because my brain is stupid like that."

"Maybe that boy Shuhei could teach you a thing or two." Mother suggested, placing bacon and eggs on the table.

"You're still friends with that boy?" Father asked. I swallowed a piece of bacon. I didn't tell them about Shuhei and me!

*Flashback*

"Where the hell did you go for 2 hours? ! ? !" my Father roared angrily when I got home. He was so angry, his face was red. Me? I didn't care. I was still drowsy from my kiss with Shuhei.

"Heaven." I said dumbly as I skipped past him upstairs. I turned to face his and Mother's confused expressions. "If you're still wondering in the morning, I'll tell you. I'm going to bed now. Goodnight!"

The next morning, they hadn't said anything about my strange attitude last night. I assumed they thought I was simply wacko and left it alone.

*End Flashback*

"Chew and swallow, Kimiko!" My mother said, exasperated as I began to cough. "Chew and swallow!" I drank some orange juice and nodded.

"Yeah, I'm still friends with him."

"I thought he kept making you upset?" I shrugged.

"I thought we went over this Father, I-"

"Can't live with him, can't live without him" my parents said simultaneously.

"We know Kimi." Mother kissed my forehead. "Oh, and I was wondering, how is your relationship with Renji?" Shit! I didn't tell them about my breakup with Renji either!

"Well...you see...what had happened was..."

"He broke up with you, didn't he?" My father accused. My parents eyes were on me, and I looked down.

"Uhhh..." suddenly, a honk was heard outside. I jumped up, startling my parent.

"Looks like Rangiku's here! Gotta go!" I ran outside to see Rangiku in her car. I jumped in. "Get me outta here!" I shouted, she stepped on the petal and we were driving down the street.

"Sooo...how's your 1st day of summer?" she asked. I shrugged.

"It only just begun." I said.

"Weeeeell, I just set up Rukia with Ichigo Kurosaki and-"

"Kurosaki? Like, the most popular guy in school and Renji's best friend?" she nodded and laughed.

"The one and only! I'm amazing huh?" I nodded.

"Hell yea you are!"

"Now, let me finish, I'm setting up a double date! Rukia and Ichigo, and you and Renji!" my smiled dropped. Shit, shit, shit, shit! I didn't tell my friends about my breakup with Renji either!

"Umm...about that-"

"WHAT THE HELL? ! ? ! ? !" Rangiku shouted suddenly, pulling over. I followed her gaze and saw Renji walking down the sidewalk, hand-in-hand with another girl. It was cute actually. You know...before, I would've been heartbroken, but now...nothing. Rangiku took off her seat belt and got out of the car.

"W-wait! Rangiku!" I got out and chased after her. "Just listen!" she tapped on Renji's shoulder.

"Hey! You! pineapple head!" Renji turned around.

"Hey Ran!"

"Don't you 'Hey Ran!' me, mister! What about Kimiko?" Oh fuck, shit, fuck, damn, hoe, slut, cunt... I caught up to her.

"Rangiku! You don't understand!"

"You didn't tell her?" Renji asked me. I scratched my head.

"Heh heh, well...you see..."

"I'm so confused..." the girl said.

"yea, me too." Rangiku said, arms crossed.

"Me and Renji are broken up."

Yay! Part two! It'll get better I swears!