I don't own the canon... but I couldn't tell you who does.
Chapter 1
"Why are you walking away from me? We're not done with this conversation," Marissa shouted as Bianca started walking out of the room. "That's because your yelling," she said with a voice raised a little louder than comfortable. "And you know I don't yell," she finished her sentence as she crossed the bedroom entryway.
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Bianca knew what she did was wrong: She'd been sitting with it all morning. She considered calling at lunch to explain things, but if she couldn't explain them to herself how would she explain it to Marissa? After dinner, with the kids bathed and put to bed, she told Marissa that she needed to go back to the office to finish a proposal. That was another lie. Anything to avoid confrontation.
It all started innocently enough. Reese called one morning to say she would be coming to town on business, and Bianca agreed to a play date. It wasn't as if Marissa wasn't OK with them seeing Reese. But when Bianca talked to Marissa a little later, she hesitated to mention it. The hesitation turned into a day, and then more days... and at some point, Bianca told herself it was too late. Marissa would be hurt either way now, and the thought of causing her pain was unbearable. So unbearable, that she became a little unbearable herself.
In the weeks that lead up to the visit, Bianca was snippy at work, was distant with Marissa, and the kids noticed she wasn't her playful self. Marissa continued to ask, but was growing frustrated. Finally, she'd had enough. "How much longer are you not going to tell me what's going on?" Marissa asked as they pulled back the covers on their bed. "What? It's nothing. I'm fine, really. I've just got a lot going on at work." "Huh," Marissa said as she looked at Bianca now wondering how deep this went.
"You know, I ran into your assistant at the grocery store today," Marissa started. "Taking time off again was she? I'll note this for her review," Bianca cut in to make a joke. "She looked stressed," Marissa sighed and waited for a reply. When no reply came she continued, "after a little pressing, she admitted that you haven't been yourself at work lately. So it's not just at home is it?" Bianca still couldn't muster up an answer or the truth. "I can't do this," Marissa said as she picked up her pillow and started toward the living room.
"No, wait. I'm sorry. Really. I know I've been terrible lately, and the reason is just as terrible," Bianca said, deflated. Marissa turned and walked back to Bianca and grabbed her hands, "What's going on? Is someone hurting you?" she asked. "No, but you may," Bianca half-joked. Not the time, she thought to herself. So she paused and took a deep breath then continued, "I lied to you. And worse yet, I lied to you about Reese." Marissa let go of Bianca's hands and took a step back.
"You what?" Marissa's eyes grew huge. "Reese called two weeks ago to let me know she was going to be in town on business. She asked to see the girls and I said OK. She'll be here tomorrow," Bianca finished. She focused on the floor, not willing to look Marissa in the eyes. "Why didn't you tell me? You know I don't have a problem with that," Marissa questioned. "So you're not mad?" Bianca looked up. "Oh, I'm mad. I'm pissed actually." Marissa started to pace. "Why didn't you tell me?" she lifted her shoulders, "Is there more to this?" Bianca's answer was, "I don't know, I think that's why it's freaking me out. I have no idea why I wouldn't just tell you." "Are you having feelings for her?" Marissa asked as her voice cracked.
"I don't think so, I don't know," Bianca changed her mind mid-sentence. Marissa's face changed from anger to fright. "I mean I feel something, but it doesn't feel like attraction," Bianca continued, realizing that she was talking to Marissa like a friend, not a girlfriend. "I can't figure it out. And I would be continuing to lie to you if I said I could." Tears where now running down Marissa's face, and Bianca felt the weight of hurting her. Marissa grabbed the pillow again and walked out of the bedroom.
After two hours of tossing and turning, Bianca gave up and went to find Marissa. When she jammed her toe on the side table in the living room, she yelled "crap." It was what she'd been feeling for two weeks, so it was a release to just say it. "I really don't want to talk Bianca," Marissa said sternly from the couch. "Yeah, I don't either." She sat down at the end of the couch. "But we need to." "Well, you really didn't need to for the past two weeks when I kept asking," Marissa was now the snippy one. Ouch, I deserved that, Bianca thought. "You're right," Bianca confessed. "I'll give you space. But know that when you're ready, I promise not to avoid it anymore," Bianca said as she placed her hand on Marissa's leg and then stood. She waited a minute to see if Marissa would change her mind, but she didn't. Neither of them slept that night.