Here is my take on tonight's episode which I am dreading but excited for hope you enjoy there may be potential spoilers xx

If I die tonight

Pouring rain splattered onto the ground forming puddles, the dark sky gloomed over the ED and all seemed normal but there he was lying in a pool of his own blood,Scott Ellison had run far away and left a dying Cal bleeding to death on the floor.

Connie

All of them had just faced one of the worst shifts they my ever had, the sight of Lily alone made her want to cry in a corner but she had to be strong for her team. When coming outside for a breather she saw a bod slumped on the floor blood oozing out of it and although she seems cold blooded and heartless the sight in front of her was making her sick, what normally was a cocky ,arrogant doctor "Dr Knight, call me Cal"'was now lying helplessly on the floor with no glimmer of life left inside him, Connie had to do something to help him ,she would not let him die tonight she screamed for help as she stood crying in the pouring rain begging for someone to help her but all she could think about was Ethan she had to save him for Ethan.

Max

I walk into resus about to move Lily and see Cal lying limp on a stretcher,one of my best friends has been injured, somebody has done this too him for what their enjoyment max questioned. I don't know what to do anymore the world is spinning I begin to feel tears prickling my eyes as I look on y the sight alone I know Cal doesn't have a chance and then I think of all the moments we've had and all of a sudden where is Ethan, does he know what has happened has anybody told him, somebody needs to go and bring Ethan here, everyone else is prolonging Cal's life so I run as fast as I can to the Hope an anchor trying to save Ethan from a whirlwind of guilt and regret and then I keep on running.

Iain

Nearly losing Lily today has opened my eyes to everything I refused to see and I think what would I do if she had died, if Cal hadn't of saved her I need to tell her how I really feel and I need to thank Cal for giving me another chance and that is when I see Cal being wheeeled into the Ed basically dead, he is bloody, blood is everywhere he is unrecognisable , what the hell had happened, who has done this I bet it was one of the Elision's all I can think about is will he ok will he make it, Ethan where is Ethan?

Ethan

I just tried to kiss Alicia until Max enters the pub and stops me and then he says the one word that makes my world come crashing down, I run as fast as I can to the ED praying my brothers alive, he has to be he, can't die ,I won't let him but that's not up to me. Resus is covered in my brothers blood, he's a mess but still my brother all I can do is cry and cry and cry. I never got to say goodbye, its not fair I say as I carry on crying, everyone is looking on, crying at my brother, I forget the impact he has had on people, I forgot the last time I told him I loved him, I should of remembered because it was the last time.

Cal

Looking around for the last time I see my boss who I have loved, hated and liked she may think she's cold but there's a heart somewhere she desperately trying to save my life but it's too late ,I sacrificed myself for my baby brother and that was one of my best decisions of my life. I see Iain and Max staring at me how I wish I had said goodbye they have been their for me got wasted with me and I don't even get to say good bye, then theirs Sam looking the same , grim he thinks it's his fault it's not it's mine then I think of Lily the last thing I said to her I can't take that back and then Ethan he's standing there looking at me broken tears in his eyes if only he knew I gave my life for his and how much I love him and then Alicia next to him tears In her eyes she's broken too carrying the secret she told me about early and I just hope she will be there for Ethan when I am not. for once in my life I fell complete like I have achieved something. Ethan probably hates me now but no matter what I'll be there for him through everything and I'm glad he's got a tattoo to remember me and I hope he never forgets me or anything I did and then I am gone, I have flat lined Caleb Knight no longer exists, my spirt looks at them all my family in the Ed and I think of how I have effected these people and that I actually mean something and I know my life was complete they should not cry because I am gone but smile because I died happy but how can they do that there will be an aftermath of my death, now Alicia's pounding on my chest, she knows im gone but none of them want to accept it. my ghost touches her solder and I tell her to stop, let me go and then she does. All their faces are decorated with tears I smile for one last time and then take my mothers hand as she guides me away.

so hope you enjoyed this and try to enjoy the episode tonight and have plenty of tissues I have a feeling were going to need them xxxx