A/N: Hey Guys, so I've had this idea floating around in my head for a while. (Way before the bridge scene but I decided to add that in) I've actually had the ending written on paper for about a month. I just love drunken little Delena scenes. :3
"The water there is deeper
Than anything you've ever seen,
Jump right in and swim until you're free."
. . .
"Vodka shot." Elena demanded, sliding onto the bar stool. She's had one hell of a day and she needs something. She was still internally shaking from the high-speed car ride with Stefan and now she doesn't know what she's feeling.
She feels like she's going to be sick.
"I'm going to have to see some ID" The bartender demanded crossing his arms over his chest. She shot him an exasperated look. Really it was more of a plea. He stared at her for a moment, shook his head, and went to fetch the drink. She let out a breath of relief.
The 'car scene', as she took to calling it, happened nearly five hours ago and it was still sending waves of nausea to the pit of her stomach.
How could he do that?
After Damon dropped her off, (she wasn't even going to touch the Damon problem tonight) she attempted to go to sleep but didn't get much farther than the kitchen. After checking every cabinet and draw for something that contained any amount of alcohol, she remembered that she dumped all the remaining alcohol for fear that Jeremy would resort to it after Jenna's death.
She was such an idiot.
"Here you go," The bartender said placing the shot in front of her before quickly leaving to help his other customers.
When the search for alcohol failed, she went for a drive.
And man did she drive.
Two hours after passing the 'You are leaving Mystic Falls, please come back soon!' sign, she pulled into this small out-in-the-middle -of-nowhere bar.
This was exactly what she needed, somewhere far away where no one would recognize her.
She downed the shot and smiled at the warmth that shot through her.
"Looks like Dorothy is a long way from home, huh?" Came a velvety voice behind her.
She sighed. She knew that voice. Hell, she knew that voice better than she knew her own.
"Damon," She responded not even bothering to look at him, for fear she would just fall apart if she did.
"Lovely to see you too Elena," He said, plopping himself down into the bar stool beside her. She turned her head to face him and saw he was wearing his trademark smirk. "Why didn't you tell me you were having a drinking party? You know how much fun we had on our last one." He said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
She smiled. Georgia. The good old days.
It seemed like a distant memory to put it honestly. At that time she thought her life couldn't get much worse than vampires and her boyfriend using her as a replacement for his long lost vampire lover.
Talk about being an idiot.
"Two more," Damon said loudly, this obviously was directed at the bartender. "Now why did you come all the way out here?" This, unfortunately, was directed at her.
She shook her head. "I'm going to need at least three more shots in me before I can even attempt to answer that."
It was his turn to sigh. The bartender came back with the shots.
"Just keep 'em coming," Damon mumbled reaching for his.
This was going to be a long night.
. . .
"I just don't know what I was thinking," Elena exclaimed throwing her hands in the air. She reached for the bottle of vodka Damon compelled the bartender to give them. "I was just so stupid for thinking he could change." She took a swing from the bottle, trying to walk in a semi-straight line as they walked across the parking lot.
"I wouldn't call you stupid, you knew what he's really like," Damon commented, taking the bottle out of her hand and gulping down a mouth full. "It's not that hard to believe that he'd go back to his annoyingly brooding self with a little help."
They made it to her car and she reached into her purse, around the other bottle she stashed in there, to take the car keys out.
"Don't worry about it, we'll walk," Damon said grabbing her hand and directing her to the street. The parking lot tipped a little with the action, and she took cover in the warm tingles it sent up her arm.
At least something's never change.
She dropped her keys back into her purse and allowed him to lead her. "Anyway, I still believe he can go back, don't worry I'll help you get him back." He smiled at her, but she could see the tinge of sadness in it.
"That's the thing though," She slurred. "I don't want him back,"
And just like that, her whole view shifted. And she realizes it was true, she didn't want him back. How could she ever take him back?
There was no sound for a while, just their footsteps against the pavement. She could tell that she shocked Damon.
"Elena." He said. "That's ridiculous, he's not himself right now, but you're in love with the real Stefan." He said this without a hint of doubt, like he knew this was fact.
"Oh, but this is the real Stefan, Don't you see it?" She asked turning to face him. "This was the dirty little secret that he was trying so hard to hide. This is what he is. Sure, he has his good kind side but he has to force himself to be that way, it doesn't come naturally."
"I'm not following," Damon commented and she shook her head reaching for the bottle.
"You see, everyone keeps telling me 'Oh his humanity is shut off, this is what all vampires are like when they have no humanity' but it's not true. He still has his humanity. I saw it. I'm actually starting to question whether or not one can lose their humanity completely."
She shook her head, taking another gulp. "What he is now, that's how he's supposed to be. A vampire is supposed to function on human blood. That's normal, that's what makes them normal. He was molding and changing and forcing himself to be what he thought was human, but it wasn't. What I'm starting to learn is that you have to embrace your fears, all aspects of yourself."
She sighed. That sounded confusing.
"What I mean is, Stefan shouldn't have kept his bloodlust hidden, he should have learned to embrace it and control it. And he's starting too; he's not jumping every human like he was at the Miss Mystic Falls pageant. He's finally forming his true self, not who he thinks he should be. Am I making any sense here?" She asked hoping he understood.
"A surprising amount given your drunken state." He muttered. He was looking straight ahead, his eyes glossed over like he was somewhere far away.
"Anyway," She continued. "I'm starting to think a lot of it was in my head anyway." He didn't look towards her so she kept going.
"After my parents died, my life was seriously lacking love. I think I was more in love with the idea of being in love than I was with him." This seemed to knock Damon out of his thinking state and he looked over at her sharply.
"Why would you think that?" He asked, his eyes locking with hers.
"Because it doesn't hurt right. This is it, we're over and what I'm feeling isn't heart break, at least not the right kind. I'm so sad and hurt about what happened on the bridge because he knew. He knew. That it was the bride my parents died on, that I almost died on, and he didn't care. That's what's killing me, not that we'll never have our fairytale ending like I always thought we would. I think I'm starting to give up on the idea of that kind of love."
Somehow, walking down a dark street in the middle of nowhere, slightly drunk, with Damon was making the whole thing suddenly clear.
"How do you know that it's supposed to feel differently? Isn't Stefan the only person you ever thought you loved?" He asked, a tad bitterly, might she add.
"I just know okay. When he was gone it was hell, but it wasn't unbearable. I shouldn't be able to breathe when he's gone, I shouldn't have to question his love, It shouldn't feel like we're complete strangers no matter what mood he's in. The world should tip on an angle when he touches me, or even goes near me. I should feel like I can't imagine my life without him. It should feel-"
Like you.
She stopped dead in her tracks. All this time she knew, but she always pushed it away, trying to avoid being Katherine. But she remembers now.
The looks,
The gazes,
The heat,
The comfort,
The control,
The lack of control,
The touches,
The feelings,
The loss of air,
The tingles that are still shooting up her arm from his grip on her hand.
This wasn't the first time Elena Gilbert called herself stupid, tonight.
"Like coming home," She finished softly.
. . .
"Alright in we go," Damon said as he carried her through the front door of her house. She giggled as he carried her up the stairs and into her bedroom. They both finished the two bottles and she doesn't understand how Damon's even able to walk.
He places her down onto her bed, takes off her shoes, and pulls the covers up around her. She smiles at him as he sits on the end of her bed, his one hand absently running through her hair.
"Goodnight, Elena." He makes to stand up but she reaches out and grabs his hand.
"No stay with me," She whines, seeing the doubt in his eyes, "please?" She whispered. He sighed.
"Move over."
She did as she was told and scouted over to the other side of the bed. She watches as he kicks his shoes off and settles in next to her. She moves over to him and lays her head on his chest, his arm coming up around her back.
They lay there in silence for a while.
"Look Elena," He breathes against her ear, making her shiver. The pain in his voice was evident. "You don't have to make a commitment, you don't have to tell me you love me or anything, its okay, I understand that more than anyone."
He moves so he's lying facing her. His nose skims her throat, feathering kisses along the way.
"Just please, let me in. I can't take this back and forth, not being sure. The constant questions of; Does she feel the same way? Does she think I'm Stefan? Does she want me to be Stefan? Does she know how much I love her?"
She takes in a shaky breath, the alcohol in her system making her head fuzzy. She briefly considered the idea that this was all a dream. Damon can't mean these things can he? He knows how much more special he is than Stefan, right?
I love you too.
"Let me show you. Just let me try, I know you're scared but you have to risk your heart sometime, Elena. You can't go forever without it, trust me I've tried."
She felt something wet against her collar bone. If she didn't know any better, she'd think he was crying. But Damon never cries.
He does for you.
"I know you're hurting. I want to help you, like you help me every day. Let me in. Just promise me okay, promise me?"
His head came up and they locked eyes. She was incapable of formulating words so she just nodded her head in agreement.
The room felt like it was spinning.
His lips crashed down onto hers and suddenly he was everywhere. His hands moved up and down her sides, the heat of his body warming the inside of hers, his mouth claiming hers, over and over again.
"God, just let me in," He mumbled against her skin. And she knew there was something important she needed to say, but with every one of his touches the thought went farther and farther into the darkness.
. . .
"I promise,"
So what do we think? Awful, terrible, great, lovely, amazing? Let me know?
REVIEW PLEASE.