In Dreams

Disclaimer Unfortunately I don't own anything. Only own the plot.

Summary: Rory, a lonesome teenager. In dreams she is strong, determined and confident. In the bittersweet reality she is fragile, self-conscious and shy. But when that one guy comes around… AU.

Background: This is going to be an AU. Rory never went to Chilton, never had the ambition for it. She was in class full of girls and two boys. One of them is Dean.

A/N: Don't if you hate it or love it. Also don't know if it's going to be good or if I should continue, but let me know what you think. Reviews are most welcome.

"Standing in a crowded room, but still feeling all alone."

Chapter 01

There she lay, in her bed. She looked up to her phone she had hidden under her pillow, almost three o'clock again. She sighed and turned around. She faced her bookcase. She didn't even know why she had her phone still under her pillow.

When she first came to her new class the first thing she noticed was that it was a girls class and two boys. If she had ever learned anything was that this was going to be though. The one guy, Dean, was a bit of an popular guy, cute, not shy, always very touchy with girls, your regular smooth guy. Always hugging them, holding hands with them, even though he didn't have any love interest for them. And the other guy, Casey, was an bit of an nerd. Serious boy, reading-glasses and a bit shy. He wasn't as smooth as Dean.

Half of the girls fought for his attention. Not me, I don't know if it's just me, but I never really had the interest for boys. Ok, I liked boys, but they just weren't a big issue for me. I only kissed one boy ever. And that was almost two years ago. At some event, the next thing I know me and this guy were kissing. A first I didn't really know how to respond, but he was very nice and said things to me how to make the kissing better. At first I didn't know if I really liked him, but after he said those things, I did like him. But then I came home and I told my mother what happened. I had kissed a guy. My mom didn't respond the way I expected. She was mad and said that it was all to fast. I listened to much to my mother from that point, and then because of that, me and this guy didn't worked out.

But then Dean felt for me. I had him online on im messenger and we just started talking, a first only through im, but then also more at school. When we had a Christmas dance at a disco, we sort of liked each other more and more. So we went out on a double date. At the end of the night we kissed. I was happy. We send each other text messages a lot. So that's when I decided to put my phone under my pillow. So that I could respond to him a.s.a.p, god, I really liked him. We had Christmas vacation and we saw each other more and when we went back to school we were boyfriend and girlfriend.

The thing I wasn't expecting though was the reaction of the other girls in my class. They completely ignored me. The girls I had some great contact with, didn't say a world. Even this one girl I had confided in about Dean, she spilled out all the things I had ever said to he. I had never felt so alone. Dean also did not stop hugging the other girls stuff. I never really said anything about it, because I didn't want to be like a mother. Always telling him what to do.

A few weeks after we started going out, my teacher came up to me and asked how I was doing. I said my mask up and said that everything was going great. She said she didn't believe me. She saw how the other girls were behaving them selves among me. When she said this I couldn't control my tears any longer. There I was, crying in front of my teacher as some weak and fragile person. She comforted me. She said she going to have talk with the class and never mentioning my name, but she was going to make sure everything was going to be ok.

A week after that there was no change in the situation. Dean and I went to a bar and I don't what happened but the next thing I know is that we were standing outside together and we were breaking up. A three week relationship I thought to myself, that must me be record.

That Monday I had to go to school again, when I entered the school, I saw the girls from my class. Looking at me and then I saw Dean, standing with those girls. Who were constantly saying his name like: Dean, sweetheart. Give me a hug. That was the moment when I knew this was going to be an though day, a though year, a lonesome year. And as I figured the day was tough, suddenly the girls were talking to me again, like nothing ever happened. The got what the wanted. We were broken up.

Later on, I heard of my childhood friend, Lane, that she heard how they had made plans to break us up. And the succeeded.

And now I am lying here, playing this song over and over in my head. Thinking how different everything could have gone. Dean and I never really dated again although the feelings were never really gone. Up until now, we are a year and halve further. And I think my feeling are for once gone. Dean has somebody else, a new girl, not from our class though, some girls who lives in Hartford. And I am to ready for someone new in my life. But I think I am afraid. Afraid of someone new. With my lack of experience. I mean, come on, how pathetic can I be? A 17 year old virgin, one who had never gone further than kissing. Even though I want more I am scared. At the worst part is, some of my so called friends like to play with saying things like, 17 years old and never had sex, wow, that is really sad. And I know it. It's pathetic.

A/N: Song that inspired me during the writing of this chapter was:

Chantal Kreviazuk – Feels like home