counting constellations
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"I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."
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When she was young, she feared the dark.
But, then again, how could any child not — (just once in their little lifetime) — grow to fear the empty, foreboding threat of the night and all the shadows that lurk within?
Because the darkness is cold. It is solid and unforgiving and in it all those demons that cower beneath the sunlight suddenly come to life — embodied in the pitch black; nameless and formless, yet ever-present…
Souko blames her parents. If they had cared more for family than they had their company, then perhaps she wouldn't have been forced to face the terrors of the night herself. Maybe then she wouldn't have spent those long, cold nights alone in that big house where nameless things crept and lurked in every empty space, trembling beneath her bedsheets.
When he first finds out, he laughs teasingly and she thwacks him on the shoulder for his sniggers. But it's after that — it's after that little, accidental confession that the visits begin.
(As if he needs an reason to visit her anyway.)
(But he's glad for the excuse.)
It all starts with a tapping. It begins at midnight — midnight on the dot — with that distant 'tap-tap-tapping!' on her balcony door. It's so subtle. It's so continuous. It could be the scratching of the vines beyond her window or the makings of her own imagination or it could even be the relentless flight of insects against the glass…
But she knows the truth and she has to bite her lip to keep herself from laughing aloud.
She doesn't know how he even gets up onto her balcony on her first place.
(But she doesn't mind.)
(She's grateful for his company.)
When she goes to her window and pulls back the drapes, Aruto stands there, his violin over his shoulder, and there's a glint in his eyes — a smirk on his face. She grins, blushing madly despite herself.
She knows that smirk. She knows that playful look and roguish grin. And she knows that, above all else, it always guarantees a good time.
And so, like some fair maiden from some old, forgotten fairy tale she lets him whisk her from her balcony ledge. He takes her hand and flashes a grin and her heart flutters—
Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump!
—because how can she resist? How could she possibly deny him now as his fingers interlock with hers and they fly — creeping down into the gardens, past the darkened windows, slipping through the gap in the hedge and off into the shadows.
Souko's hair is flying behind her, her chest warm despite the chill of the breeze and she feels like she could scream to the sky in joy because this man is an adventure if nothing else.
Her heart is joyous. His strength grants her security. Their laughter rings out across the deserted streets and melts into the wind, flowing free and fluid like some intrinsic melody.
Oh and it's so thrilling! That steady rhythm in her chest is beating wildly, gaining speed, all caution gone into the wind—
Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump!
Oh, what would her parents think? What would her parents think to see her now — holding on to the hand of a vagabond and tearing away into the night. To think — her! Humble, shy little Souko!
The thrill is enough to spur her on. She shouldn't be doing this — rushing through the bushes at this midnight hour, legs pounding, heart racing—!
Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump—!
A snicker sounds in the trees before her. A breathless giggle tears through her lips.
And now they're gallivanting through the last of the trees, enshrouded in shadow, the only light the devious, cunning, oh-so astonishing gleam in his cobalt eyes.
When Aruto stops, Souko crashes face-first into his back and the two go tumbling down into the undergrowth. She gasps, red-faced and stuttering, but beneath her Aruto laughs. He laughs and shakes and chuckles aloud, his firm chest heaving beneath her fingertips. At a loss, she laughs with him — a dizzy and stupid little girl in love.
"We're here," he whispers and Souko can't help but frown.
'Here?' They're in the middle of nowhere.
But, as ever, that light in his eyes never fails to please.
"Follow me."
And he takes her by the hand again.
(Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump!)
Across the way, through the clearing of trees and the tangle of bushes, there sits a single structure, dark and solid and domed against the starless night.
She shudders. She feels as though the dark pursues her.
But Aruto steps beside her then, his side flush against hers. He squeezes her hand.
"Don't worry." he says. "It's different inside."
And they're sneaking in, forgoing the front doors which are locked and chained, impassable at this late hour, but that's no problem. Aruto has a knack for sneaking into places unnoticed and before she can second-guess herself they're in, squeezing through a back entranceway, tip-toeing down darkened corridors.
They've taken perhaps only ten steps when he turns around and takes her wrists.
"Close your eyes."
Souko blinks. Her courage falters. She glances round uneasily at the gloomy corridor; she blinks into the shadows and watches them blacken, writhing with whatever terrors she cannot guess—
But then Aruto takes her hands in his. His eyes gleam before her, but they're softer now, warmer…
"I'm here."
She nods reluctantly and tries to focus on the security of his touch as she shuts her eyes, her heart beating steadily in her chest.
She feels a rush of chill air. She hears their footsteps echo. She senses a glow of light even through closed eyes.
And then he stops.
"Open them!"
So she does.
And she can't believe her eyes.
"Aruto..!"
Because there before her the heavens are ablaze with the light of a thousand, sparkling stars.
But are they not inside? Have they not just broken in to some abandoned building? Has the ceiling collapsed?
No, she realises. No, that cannot be it… But it is all too real…
She feels as though she is wandering the sky itself — as though this man has grabbed her hand and picked her up and whisked her away to dance beneath the very stars themselves as they twinkle against the fabric of the night.
Their light — it's ethereal! It's the clearest sky she has ever seen! It's blissful and cleansing and pure and Souko suddenly thinks that the shadows don't writhe as much. They're softer; less solid; they pale in insignificance amidst the brilliant stars above and it's only then that she realises—
"A planetarium?"
Aruto's smile is dazzling — his eyes dancing; shimmering as if made from the heavens themselves. He seems to blend into this glorious night. He seems to melt into this inky blue, sweeping across the starlit floor as a spirit through the night…
And he is right beside her.
His presence is immovable. Constant. Protective…
He grins;
"I thought you'd like it."
And, breathless and bursting with joy, Souko kisses him and they settle against the ground together, side-by-side, hand-in-hand, picking out the many constellations and laughing gleefully into the still night…
(Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump!)
And, though the stars may move and the sky may shift — though the dawn may rise and drown their light — many times they still return. Always they have time to lie beneath the starswept dome — to sneak away into the shadows and retreat into their midnight refuge to wander beneath the moon; to count the constellations; dance amongst the clouds...
So, no, Souko does not fear the night anymore.
Souko loves the night. And the stars. And their planetarium… Souko loves the night, for a sky full of stars glows bright and breathtaking in his eyes.
And she loves Aruto Tsukiyomi more than words can tell.
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