Okay. I told myself I wasn't going to do these types of stories because I am getting to be a girl Jiraiya, minus the peeping. But then dirty thoughts just came and I thought they were so funny I couldn't resist. Hopefully it comes out as funny as it did in my head.
My Balls, My Way
It was a quiet night in a local tavern. Well not so quiet once you include our two favorite people. Adding one hyperactive and broody ninja together has never made a good combination. Especially when the said two have been in a not-so-secret relationship for the past 6 months. And when we say not-so-secret we mean that all of the public knows...without actually being told by the two. It was on quiet nights like these, when their suspicions were confirmed by the usual bickering which turns into much more than they would really like to hear...
"Oh come one! Stop doing that! You're messing me up!"
"It's not my fault you can't get it in the hole dobe. I keep telling you that you're just not cut out for this, but you never listen. It's better to just sit back and watch a pro"
"I've got no problem doing this. These balls just don't want to cooperate!" he said venomously.
"It's not always about the balls dobe. Sometimes you need to know how to hold the stick as well. You can't just shove it any old way and expect it to do what you want. It requires technique"
"Technique my ass. It's all just brute force and knowing where to aim."
"That probably why you don't ever get the stupid thing in. Hey! Don't coat it in that stuff. It'll only make the rod more slippery!" Sasuke barked out after a moment. Sakura who had been passing by stared wide eyed before putting an ear to the door.
"Why don't you be a good partner and sit back and wait for me to finish?"
"Hah! You're never gonna finish this. You can't even get the thing in the hole"
"Well how can I with your freaking balls in the way?"
"I got around yours easy enough" the brunette shot back.
"That because you're a bastard"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"It has everything to do with it! That's why these balls won't listen to me"
"What kind of idiot talks to their balls?"
"Me!"
"Naruto! Sasuke! We're on a mission right now! Kakashi-sensei told you before about doing this kind of stuff when we're-" she screamed kicking the door open. She stared wide eyed at the sight before her.
"It's not my fault he keeps cheating!" Naruto said defensively.
"Wh...what were you doing?"
"Playing pool. What does it look like?"
"You mean you were...and with all the screaming and the...the balls...oh"
"What did you think we were doing?"
"She was probably thinking that we were having sex again dobe" Sasuke said bluntly. He smirked at the way the blonde's face turned red.
"T...teme! You can't just say stuff like that"
"Why not? There's nothing to be embarrassed about dobe" he said teasingly.
"Have you ever heard of a word called discretion?"
"Oh believe me. Your relationship is anything but discreet..." Sakura said dryly.
"What's that suppose to mean?" Naruto asked outraged.
"Nothing. Nothing. Just keep it down. Your scaring the rest of the guests" she said walking out again.
"You know, I could give you a few pointers in you wanna learn how to play properly" he said snaking an arm around the boy's waist.
"Instruct me Uchiha-sensei" Naruto said huskily.
Yes people. They were playing pool...Hey, I told you I'm becoming a perv. I was home by myself playing pool on my Wii and just like Naruto I screamed at the balls and was saying things just like that when they didn't go in and my neighbors next door could hear me. Then they got freaked out and told my mom when she got back from shopping and I'll let your imagination finish the rest. It was only then, when I realized what everyone else was thinking and what a sickminded person I was becoming because otherwise that situation would have just flown over my head...I need a shrink...