In An Effort To Make Everyone Equally Unhappy: A Season Seven Ep. 22 Parody

**************REMINDER***********

THERE ARE SPOILERS FOR THE FINALE IN THIS PARODY. THERE ARE SPOILERS FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON/SERIES AND ALSO A POSSIBILITY OF SOME ANGEL SPOILERS TOO, CAUSE HE'S SO MUCH FUN TO MAKE FUN OF! HAS FOGGI READ THE ENTIRE "FINALE" SCRIPT??? NO! SHE ONLY KNOWS THE BASICS OF WHAT WILL BE HAPPENING. SO IT'S NOT SOME DETAILED ACCOUNT. IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS, STOP READING NOW!!!!!

Author: Foggi

Rating: PG

Pairing: I like Spike. And I like him with Buffy. We basically all got screwed, so lets stop fighting about who has the better ship.

Disclaimer: Joss did it all. Now its over...let the depression begin.

Note: I will continue the parodies, as I really can't cope with the loss of this show at all. Also, depending on how I feel about things, I may be doing AtS parodies next season.

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The scene opens on Buffy and Angel passionately making out. This scene was originally meant for Buffy and Spike. But, hey, who pays attention to things like that anymore?

BUFFY: Oh, Spi-...I mean, Angel!!!

ANGEL: Oh, Cord-...I mean, Buffy!!!

Isn't it sweet?

SPIKE: What is going on???

Enter Giles.

GILES: Oh good! I always liked Angel and Buffy together!

Enter Willow.

WILLOW: Really? Didn't he kill your girlfriend?

GILES: Yes. But Buffy and Spike had sex.

WILLOW: I'm confused.

GILES: Willow, it's quite simple really. At a time last year, you were very evil. Then you went away with me to England and we solved that. Can you tell me where Spike was while you and I were having tea in the countryside?

WILLOW: Enduring torture to get his soul?...

GILES: For Buffy!!! Therein lies the problem.

WILLOW: So, all Spike really needed to do was go have tea with you and then he'd be redeemed?

GILES: More or less. As long as he stays away from Buffy.

WILLOW: Oh.

Meanwhile, Spike sits down and tries to figure out exactly how Angel got here. And if he could get there so easily, why hasn't he come before? And what on earth would posses Buffy to suddenly show any form of romantic emotion?

SPIKE: What on earth would posses Buffy to show any form of romantic emotion?

Enter TheFirstEvil Dressed as a FOX executive.

THE FIRST/FOX EXEC: Because they're lovers!

SPIKE: No.

THE FIRST/FOX EXEC: Yes. Star-crossed lovers!!!

SPIKE: When did you last see the show?

TheFirstEvil makes a quick exit, knowing the answer to that question will only get him fired.

Enter Xander.

XANDER: Yo! Angel-dawg!!! Good to see you around, man.

WILLOW: I thought you hated him, too.

XANDER AND GILES: What are you talking about?

BUFFY: (With a fierce passion in her voice) I love you Angel, Giles, Dawn, Willow, Kennedy, Xander, Andrew, Anya, The First Evil, Random Potential Slayers, Robin Wood, Spike's Mom, Caleb, and The Watcher's Council...did I forget anyone???

GILES: Nope.

BUFFY: K! Let's go kick some evil-man bootay! I'm suddenly feeling very *empowered by love*!!!