A/N- This is a warning. There are dark themes in this fic (suicide & feeling inadequate) so if you're going to be triggered or affected, maybe not reading is best.
Now that's out of the way, WELCOME TO THE FANFICTION. HAHA. I'm writing this for two reasons - one, because I haven't posted in a while and there's a lack of Bade fanfiction; two - because I feel it touches on some issues that I've been dealing with lately (not me exactly - but I've been exposed to them in a roundabout way)
I'd like to use this platform to say this: Bullying is never okay. No matter what. No matter how many excuses you come up with, you're still hurting someone else, and that's not cool. So don't do it. If you see anyone being bullied, stand up for them. (:
Enjoy reading, and reviews would be lovely. (}:
Sometimes, she honestly doesn't know why she holds on.
Her life is in tatters. She knows it, her friends know it, her therapist knows it, her family knows it... basically everyone she's ever met can tell that she has every reason to quit.
She tries to hide it behind a tough exterior, but it's just an act - every word, every glare, slips through a chink in her armour and cuts a slice from her heart.
She's one of those people that, should she kill herself, everyone would look at as an inevitable act. She can hear their voices already.
"At least she's at peace now."
"She's better off that way."
It makes her mad. It's like she's some terminal-illness-infected poor little soul. Like she's a charity case.
And if there's one thing Jade doesn't need, it's charity.
She feels like she's always coming off second-best. Cat's getting the lead in all the school plays, Tori's getting all the solos in school performances, Andre's songs are getting chosen to be recorded.
She's invisible, a nothing unless someone better happens to be missing.
She's planning the best way to go when he plonks himself beside her and presses a kiss to her cheek.
"I love you, you know that?"
His voice is calm and collected - something she knows hers won't be if she talks to him in this very moment.
He makes her tear up (on the inside - Jade would never let someone cool see her cry) because he's the exception to everything she's ever known.
He doesn't hate her, he's not better than her, he doesn't try to give her charity and he doesn't treat her like she's invisible.
To Beck, she's the best thing he's ever known. He loves her more than he loves himself. She's better than everyone at everything. She's the centre of his world, the thing that keeps him spinning when he feels dizzy, the thing that keeps him grounded when his head's in the clouds.
She's everything to him, and he makes sure to remind her of that as often as he can.
He makes her feel like, just for the time they hang out - for the time they're touching, kissing, alone in his RV or her room, recording songs that will never see the light of day, recording videos for TheSlap - she could be a princess instead of the evil witch she's grown up as. He makes her feel like the world is her castle - the world is a place where nothing bad happens, where the only time people ever cry is when they're so eternally happy that smiling can't portray it completely. He makes her feel like she's so far above everyone else that she can't even see them anymore.
He pulls her close, and she almost lets a tear slip down her cheek.
"What do you say, this afternoon, we go down to that scissor store you heard about? We can stop for coffee at your favourite place on the way there and on the way back."
She smiles.
Sometimes, she swears, he can read her mind - like he knows she doesn't want to live so he tries to pry her away from the ideas and back into his world of happiness and love and fairytales.
Sometimes she knows that life is worth living.
Sometimes, she knows that she wants to stay.
One thing she knows for certain, though, is that if she has to die, she'd like to die with him beside her, so that she can leave the world beautiful.
~END~