"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy." Frank Sinatra

"What…things does drink especially provoke? ...it provokes and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance." William Shakespeare Macbeth, II, iii

Really, Lizzie Bennet usually hated alcohol with a passion. With one alcoholic little sister who was almost always drunk, barfing, or hungover all weekend everyweekend, alcohol had become the least appealing thing on Earth.

…But really, did anyone really expect her to go to a party at Darcy's and stay sober?

She knew that drinking at the party was probably a terrible idea. She did. But Lizzie Bennet was nothing if not responsible. She was getting Jane to drive her, seeing as Darcy had specifically asked her to come for some bizarre reason, just in case she actually thought she needed to drink. Ideally, of course, she could avoid Darcy entirely for most of the party and stay with the pleasant people she could actually understand, and everything would go swimmingly. But this, after all, was her life, so everything would certainly fall apart, and Lydia would find out about the party even though Lizzie had done her best to make sure she didn't, and she pull off some miracle and get herself to San Francisco, and then Lydia would humiliate everyone, and Jane would have to take care of two drunk Bennet sisters…Of course, that was all purely in her head. She didn't even know if she would drink at all. Her final blood alcohol level for the night would depend entirely on whether or not Darcy drove her entirely insane.

So, her drinking was inevitable, really.

"You know, I really wasn't expecting to be your chauffer when I came to San Francisco to visit for the weekend," Jane commented while they were driving. "Much less to put up with a drunk Lizzie Bennet."

"I'm sorry. You know, Darcy really wanted you to come for some reason. Maybe it won't be a total loss of a night for you."

"Yeah, I hope so. Although, I have no idea why he needs me to be here so badly. Anyway, Lizzie, if you do drink, Lizzie, can you please avoid being totally embarrassing?" Jane said. "I've been looking after Lydia for years, too, you know."

"I'm not gonna get thatdrunk, Jane. It's just not really tempting to deal with Darcy when I'm totally sober if I don't have to."

"Didn't he get any better when you worked at Pemberley?"

Lizzie paused. The truth was he had gotten considerably more pleasant to be around. Being around Darcy wasn't the worst thing she could imagine anymore. And he'd been doing so many helpful things for her… But just thinking that phrase to herself with the words "Darcy" and "pleasant" and "helpful" all thrown together made her feel a little uncomfortable. Hence, the necessity of alcohol for her to keep a grasp on sanity.

"Yeah, he did get better. I just…he's still Darcy."

Jane nodded in understanding. "Well, I still think it's a bad idea, but if you really think you need to, that's up to you. Now, I think we're here…"

And they were. They were at Darcy's enormous mansion, and Jane was parking the car, and they were walking inside, and someone was bumping into her immediately, and suddenly she was face to face with William Darcy. And naturally, he just had to be dressed just as ridiculous as ever, with the red bow tie and the newsie cap, didn't he?

"Lizzie, I was just coming to see if you'd gotten here," he said, assuming his usual strict posture immediately. "How are you?"

"Good. You?"

"I am well, thank you. Jane?"

"I'm great. It's so nice to see you, Darcy."

Lizzie rolled her eyes at Jane's typical greeting before she caught Darcy's eye; he was smirking at her frustrated expression and looking at her fondly until he realized she was looking at him. He regained his deadpan expression and asked, "How are things at home, Lizzie? Are Lydia and Wi…Wickham doing well?"

"As good as they can be, I guess. Thank you for the…"

He waved off the end of her sentence and quickly replied, "It's fine. How are your parents? Are they well?"

"Yeah, Mom's freaking out as much as she usually does, so it's no big deal. Is everything still going well at Pemberley?"

"Yes, of course. Many of your coworkers have told me they miss you."

"Well, I miss working there, too."

"You should apply after your graduation. I would be glad to recommend you if you did."

"I'll think about it. Thanks, Darcy."

An uncomfortable silence followed for a moment or two until Darcy finally blurted out, "I realize this may seem abrupt, but could I please borrow Jane for a moment? There is something I need to attend to with her, if she wouldn't mind."

Lizzie couldn't help noticing how Jane's expression fell in the slightest at the simple idea of being alone with Darcy, but her sister nodded nonetheless.

"Perfect, thank you, Jane." He turned back to Lizzie and fixed her with an intense stare. "This should only take a moment. I will be back soon."

Lizzie nodded and watched them leave. Darcy seemed to be oddly talkative as they went; Lizzie didn't spot him even pause for breath as he rambled on about something passionately to Jane. Lizzie went to lean against the nearest wall as soon as Darcy and Jane were out of sight. The butterflies that had suddenly taken up residence in her stomach were fluttering like crazy. Lizzie rested a hand over them and took a deep breath. There was no reason whatsoever for her to be reacting to five minutes in Darcy's presence. She'd been running across him off and on for months at work, and she'd been assuming that all those sudden drops in the pit of her stomach had been due to the awkward nature of their relationship. But what had just happened almost felt like something…positive. Like she actually had feelings toward him. Her heart had raced so fast, and she had felt so much warmer and more comfortable when she saw him in that stupid hat and bow tie.

She shook her head to clear out the bizarre thoughts. Darcy was not attractive. She was not in love with him in any way, shape, or form. He did not make her get butterflies. The newsie thing was notthe cutest thing she had ever seen. And she did not want to slam him up against a wall and kiss him as soon as she saw him again.

Lizzie's brain shut down. That had escalated far too quickly.

She needed alcohol, and she needed it now.

She looked around desperately as she wove around in the crowded halls of the mansion, dodging groups of already-tipsy partygoers and avoiding the few who might recognize her. She sighed with relief when she finally stumbled upon a room where someone was mixing drinks at a small bar. Obviously, Darcy could afford to hire a bartender for a party with this many people.

She felt her stomach turn again at just the thought of his name, and the butterflies kicked in as her brain focused on the way his shirt had been so tight against his chest. No, Lizzie, get it together. Don't you dare think about Darcy like that, you moron.

"Hey," Lizzie said as she came up to the bartender. "Could you just make something really strong?"

He nodded simply and went to work; Lizzie kept an eye on everything he picked up and thanked him when he put in the stereotypical red Solo cup in front of her. When she took a sip, the heavy taste of alcohol disgusted her, but it did seem to drown the butterflies in the pit of her stomach after a few sips. With another deep, relaxing breath, she thanked him and started wandering again through the house as she drank the concoction. The constant thumping of dance music guided her along. Of all the places Darcy would be, she figured that wherever popular music was blasting would undoubtedly be one of the last.

It took forever to end up in the room that'd been converted into a dance hall, complete with dance floor and crappy lighting and even a corny disco ball for good measure. The music switched to something much more romantic almost as soon as she stepped into the room, so Lizzie hid in the corner and took another gulp from the cup. She felt warmer from the alcohol and approaching the beginning of tipsy already. Whatever that guy had mixed together seemed to be doing the trick. That or she reallyhadn't had a drink in years because of Lydia.

But she knew she wasn't drunk enough to be imagining Bing pulling Jane out onto the dance floor across the room. She watched with her mouth hanging open as he pulled her close and swayed back and forth, grinning the whole time with her laughing along.

"What the…how can…why did…what," she stuttered quietly.

Lizzie stared and stared at the couple in utter confusion as they never disappeared. But how were they actually there being that adorable again. He was supposed to be in LA. And Darcy had told Bing terrible lies about Jane and her intentions. So how was he standing there, dancing with Jane like nothing was wrong?

As she was staring at Bing and Jane, she spotted Darcy standing behind them, off on the opposite side of the room from her. Of course, the unfortunate turn of events was that he spotted her and immediately made a beeline for her.

She had no idea why, but she wanted to hide her cup. For some reason, she didn't want Darcy to know she'd been drinking. But suddenly, before she really had much time to find a hiding spot anywhere, he was right there, eyeing the cup with a quizzical stare. "I didn't think you drank, Lizzie."

"I always have to look after Lydia at parties like this. I normally can'tdrink. Doesn't mean I don't drink on occasion, though."

He nodded in understanding, then looked at Bing and Jane for a moment before rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "Um, I've been trying to repair what I've broken. I know I upset you and Jane greatly with what I did, and I regret it deeply. Your sister's feelings for Bing are obviously very genuine, and he feels very much the same. It was a mistake for me to intervene, and I…took care of my mistake. I wanted to make it up to you, Lizzie." He was holding her gaze with a hint of nervousness. "I am sorry for how I behaved at Halloween. I have been trying to fix myself and all my foolish mistakes from the past few months for a while now, and I must admit that I've actually only ever had you in mind, Lizzie, as I repaired everything as best I could. But if you feel the same as you did at Halloween, just tell me, and I'll never mention it again."

Lizzie felt her heart racing and pounding hard in her chest. There was no way she was having this conversation right now when she was still figuring all this out. "Can we pick up this conversation in a bit, Darcy? I have to go."

She turned away, but he quickly fell in step beside her as she walked. "Where do you have to go?"

"Bathroom, Darcy." She sighed in frustration. "Listen, I promise we can talk about this later, but I really have to go."

He looked at her with a conflicted expression before finally stopping and letting her go. "I'll hold you to that, Lizzie!"

And she ran.

All right so that's the first chapter done, I'd expect that I'll post the others relatively soon if I can figure out this website.

Reviews would be lovely; this is my first time actually publishing a fanfiction online, so hopefully it isn't totally awful.

Okay, so this got removed by , which was super awesome and I loved having that inconvenience in my life. But we're going to try this again with a T rating and if it gets removed again...well, I'll just be really angry. Sorry about that everyone. I'm hoping to have chapter three up soon, but it's taking quite a bit of work. Thanks for reading, and don't forget to be awesome!