Mirror EnemiesDisclaimer:those who think me to be J.K. Rowling MUST be terminally insane. LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
"Mr.Snape! You know you must face a boggart to pass this class! I will not tolerate disobediance!" Severus shook his head slowly between his thin, folded arms. He just couldn't. Why didn't they understand that? He couldn't bear the laughter, the new taunts, the knowledge that some of his greatest enemies would get... He continued to shake his head in blatent denial of the inevitable confrontation of his greatest fear.
His classmates snickered loudly. "I was right all along! Snivellus is a true coward! What are ya' scared of Snivelly? Huh? Monsters under your bed? Having Fun?" James Potter taunted him. Severus continued to shake his head. But it was inevitable. Inevitable, that more of the suffocating pain that choked him of his life would rise to the surface , would breed and duplicate and grow in the parasitic connection he, as all other humans did, faced with his insecurities. The professor flushed angrily and stalked toward his seat in the back of the room, where he sat immersed in the protection of cobwebs and shadows.
" Now boy," the defense against the dark arts teacher breathed. " I want you up there now! I want no more of your impertinence. Am I understood? " It was as he'd known it would be all along. Inevitable. He hesitated , then lifted his head and reluctantly stood, giving his professer a single curt nod before swooping around, black robes billowing from the sudden movement, and walked toward the trembling trunk that held the boggart. Severus lifted his head high and, with a great longing for his seat in back and the darkness that cloaked him and held him in a more maternal way than he'd ever been held before, waved his wand at the latch. The longing grew more desperate and his heart thudded in his chest as a slightly older Severus took form, looking almost exactly like the man he hated most and feared most. The man he was so terrified he would one day become. His father. From the prominant nose, to the lean body ( the one characteristic he and his father didn't share, as his father was a burly man who could knock him unconcious without batting an eye, somthing he'd proved on numerous ocassions. ), to the thick greasy hair, and alas to the dark eyes filled with a horrible animosity. Severus could already hear the whispers and he wished he'd never gotten up from his seat. No, better yet, he wished he'd never come to Hogwarts in the first place. He could not be sure which was worse: his classmates' leering faces or his mother's careful neglect and Father's abuse. The boggart Severus was regarding him cooly, the already luminous abhorrance becoming more so with every moment.
Then it spoke. Or, rather, he spoke. " You filthy, spineless git. You worthless scum. What are you doing acting all high and mighty, like people actually care about you! You deserve nothing! You are nothing! You greasy little slimeball! You trashy little FREAK! You're such a loser. Nobody could ever care for one such as you. Why don't you just rid them of your annoyingly incessent presence already. They would all be alot happier. But then that doesn't matter to you, now does it? You are such an idiot. And a complete failure if I ever saw one. You deserve all this world can dole out to you for being alive, for forcing your horrid presence on anyone. I should have drowned you the moment you were born... " There was a buzzing in his ears and he felt nauseas. It wasn't because of the insults. No, he was used to that. He, in fact, had a habit of repeating them to himself for hours on end after even the slightest of criticizm. He was, after all, a perfectionist. No, it was that now it was not only him hearing it. All of his classmates had heard it before from the daily torment administered to him by themselves, but he was positive they hadn't heard it from himself before. He felt sick and defeated. He'd already resigned himself to new threats and biting remarks.
The boggart of himself continued to spew insults at him, an animalistic hunger in his eyes. " Why don't you just crawl under a rock and die, you stupid coward! " His mirror image snarled at him. A feral growl rose from the throat of the boggart. " You disgust me! I hate you! Everyone does! You're a pathetic waste of space. You-" Severus shook his head wildly. No matter how much he denied it, the comments were still like his father's harshest blows, knocking the air from him. Tears blurred his vision. He had to stop it! " R-R-Ridiculus, " Severus spluttered. The boggart only laughed at his pathetic attempt to banish it. He mentally shoved every emotion out of his way and his naturally analytical and rational mind took over , giving him some odd form of comfort to hold onto. He retreated into the most shadowed and secluded part of his subconcious and withdrew himself internally, nursing the wounds that were so very apparent in his place and using every bit of his entity to restore himself his resolve. The words drummed in his ears and without a second thought ( perhaps not even a first ), he raised his wand again and incanted, " Ridiculus! "
His boggart self shrank to a miniscule size and a heavy boot came crashing down on it. Severus smirked triumphantly, though inside relief cascaded over him like giant, drenching snow-drifts. The heaviness was gone and his heart felt so light, it gave him the sensation of a feather tickling him inside his chest cavity. And he wondered if he really regretted coming up here. Somehow, he didn't think he did. But, then, that would never last. He went back to his seat averting his gaze to his hands and the slender wand still clutched in his left. Yet, for some reason of which he could not fathom, he felt as though a candle had been lit inside him. The flame flickered and burned low, but it was still there that whole day (and several more later ) and an odd warmth was emenated from it, turning him brighter with every second. And somewhere in him, he knew somthing had changed. And for the first time in a long while, he smiled at the thought. From then on his hope and will to live was renewed within him and glew with a flame that grew so strong not even the jeers of the whole school could have rid him of it, especially now, as those insults had become rather subdued since the bogart. While not happy, for once in his life Severus Snape felt somewhat content. And for him, that was quite enough.