Capture the Emotion of the Moment...
My mother always told me to "Take it in, take in all the good while you can get cuz you never know when it's gonna come again." That line was a product of my father's mood swings, him making our lives heaven one day, hell the next and as a result embedded those words in my psyche as words I had to live by.
I told him to go partly because I did not want him missing out anymore, our relationship great as it is, often made us feel on the outside watching in. Most of all I wanted him to be a part of moment for me, a snapshot of the prefect moment as it was with my friends and family. Irrational, I know, I am not going anywhere far, I'll still see them, but I could still see myself missing this, the big moments, the mini moments and the feeling of being cared for, trusted ,and understood.
A big part of me wanted to pause the moment, and some how prolong me from slipping from their everyday lives, eventually becoming less of a friend and more of a colleague to them. Despite that I know it's better to be free of all the secrets, I can't help feeling like it's brought us to the end of an era and this moment, the last of all the good. Standing there watching, wanting to be part that perfect moment, knowing that I can't and that I might not get another chance to.
I wave at them, half smile and take it in
...And the Moment Will Never Die