The Visitor
By JadeShadow
A/N: If you haven't read Star by Star, do not, I repeat, do NOT read this! I wrote this after reading that because I was so upset. I tried to make it a bit happier than it could have been. And for everyone out there who loves Anakin Solo as much as I do (did?), WHY? Who came up with this? Oh, well, here's my answer to page 457 in Star by Star.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this…if I did, Anakin wouldn't have died in the first place and I wouldn't have written this.
I sat in the makeshift morgue, shivering, unable to leave. I sat and stared at the drawer that held my dead friend. He was more than my friend. I loved him. I couldn't tear my gaze away from his name, so coldly etched on the durasteel plate. As coldly etched as he coldly lay inside. I could still feel the way his warmth left his body, even with my broken arm trying to keep it in. I thought I could keep it there, and maybe we'd be able to help him, somehow. The more I tried, though, the faster he slipped through my fingers. I didn't care that blood was now covering my arm; I didn't care if it was my blood or his. There hadn't been any difference, anyway.
I was as dead as he was. There wasn't anything left to tie me to the galaxy. I longed to be as he, one with the Force, one with him. I wasn't even able to think his name; it was holy, as holy as he would be. He was another martyr, yet more than that; he had sacrificed himself to save all the Jedi.
Even then, his sacrifice was unclean. The Jedi had not been able to come together. Jaina had disappeared, running off to the Unknown Regions, unable to deal with her brother's death. Tenel Ka wandered around with her heart torn out, unable to find Jacen or Jaina with the Force. Leia wandered around with a dull look in her eye, and Han had a dull look throughout his face. Luke and Mara worriedly watched Leia as she wandered around with their child, afraid she would kill him as she tried to grasp her eighteen-year-old son instead. Luke was blaming himself for letting us leave. Lowbacca…at least, I think he was still alive. I wasn't sure who had died and who still wandered with us. Alema, that Twi'lek without any sense, tried to make me leave the morgue so she could sit in there and mourn never having a chance with him.
"Tahiri?" a soft voice said from behind me.
"Go away," I replied in a scratchy voice. I must have been crying harder than I thought, screaming louder as they had shoved him away, quieter whenever around anything.
"No," the voice said, growing louder as whoever owned it came closer. It was so familiar, it brought an ache to my soul, yet it was musical and surrounded me. "I can't leave you alone."
"Why not?" I retorted in a trembling voice, still not looking at whoever might have been beside me. "Everyone else leaves everyone else alone, now."
"They shouldn't. You need to band together."
"How can we? His sacrifice didn't solve anything."
"You think he's happy about that? If it didn't solve anything, your friend died for nothing."
I finally plucked up the courage to look around me, yet I saw nothing. "Who are you?"
There was a pause, and then, as I clumsily reached out into the Force, I felt something twirl around me. "It's me," the voice said finally.
"Ana-" I started, but I couldn't finish. It was too painful. "Where are you?"
I could feel him laugh, slightly, and settle his…presence next to me. "All around. It's easier, in the Force, to be less material and more…sense."
"I don't understand."
"Listen to me. Stretch out as far as you can, then look to your…right. Or left. I forget sometimes."
I laughed, surprisingly, and relaxed, stretching as far as I could. Amazed, I watched as slowly, the bluish outline of my friend appeared on my right. I reached out to touch him, but my hand stopped while my mind continued. I brushed his cheek, and he "held" my mind there for a moment before letting me go. I laughed again and tried to tickle him. He jerked before replying with a similar pressure on my mind.
"Are you okay?" he asked as I shook in surprise.
"Whoa. I mean, whoa," I replied. "Even when we were as close as we got, it never felt like that."
"Sorry. I mean, I'm not completely one with the Force, but I am still deeper than any of you…" he trailed off, leaving us in silence for a minute.
"Was it painful?" I asked, finally ending the silence.
He looked at me in surprise. "Well…yes, I guess. I mean, my body was in pain. I was…well, I had already left, and I felt like I was directing it from the outside until it just gave up."
"That's why you were so bright," I guessed. "Your body was no longer keeping you in."
"Yeah, I guess so," he said. "I don't quite get it. Actually, I've been looking for someone, rather than concentrating on…everything."
"Who?" I asked, curious.
He would have blushed if he had been able. "My grandfather, Anakin Skywalker," he admitted. "Mom told me once about how he visited her, on Bakura. How he said that while he would no longer be able to go to her, she could call for him and he would come. I've been wondering…what he was like. You know about the nightmares I had. I was wondering…why it happened."
"If I ever find out, I'll let you know," I told him. He laughed.
"Thanks, I appreciate it." His mood grew more serious, until he finally asked, "How's Mom?"
I looked away, hoping he wouldn't see the tears, but then it occurred to me that he could feel whatever I was feeling, anyway. "She's…not too good. She wanders around, holding Ben, wishing she could hold you. Just one more time. That's all anyone wants. One more hour to tell you they love you, to hold you, to talk to you, to hear your voice…that's all we want, Anakin." I finally said his name, the first time in months. "Why'd you have to die?" I shouted the last part, frustrated, then burst into tears.
Anakin looked like he'd been hit. "I didn't want to, you know," he said softly. "It wasn't like I chose to die." He mentally put his arm around me and "held" me while I cried. I appreciated the effort, but I longed to feel real warmth against my shoulders and back. "Your emotions come through strong, especially the dark ones. It hurts, but I'm always right there, Tahiri. I won't leave you by choice."
"So? You're not here! I love you and you won't be here!"
"I love you too," he said fiercely. "You're the only one I'll ever love. But you, Tahiri, will love again. I want you to. I don't want you to be so unhappy, pining over me. I'm here, but I'm gone, Tahiri. I'll watch over you until I leave, I swear, but I don't want you worrying about me, thinking about me all the time. Somewhere, someone else needs you as much as you need him. You'll find him one day."
Sniffing, I whispered, "Promise?"
"Promise," he whispered in reply, "holding" me until I stopped crying altogether.
I looked up at him, finally, and saw him start to fade. "Wait," I said, "I never kissed you for coming back."
He grinned, and I closed my eyes and put everything I had into a kiss that crossed the barriers of time and death and the Force. He lingered, for a moment, and then he was gone. I sighed and wiped tears from my cheeks.
"Tahiri?" said another voice. I looked up and saw Leia, looking at me in concern. "Who have you been talking to?"
"Anakin," I whispered. "He's still here, watching us. He's okay, he wanted you to know."
Leia's eye filled with tears, and without another word she hugged me, kissed my cheek, and left. I got up and followed her, glancing back at the drawer that held his body. The name didn't seem quite so dead anymore, and I could sense Anakin watching me with a grin on his face, until he withdrew back into the shadows. I grinned over my shoulder and left with a smile on my face.
A/N II: Well, there you are, a nice little dialogue between a broken-hearted girl and a rather dead teenager boy…*sob* What were they thinking when they killed Anakin? That's just not right! Why didn't they kill Jacen instead? L