I don't own this. I saw it, thought it funny, and decided to share it with all of you. Don't sue me if you came up with it.



If you are:

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your

neighbor.

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to

your neighbor.

A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has  none. So what?

A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.  You feel guilty for

being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you

to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then

take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel

righteous.

A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes  both and provides you

with milk.

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the

milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to

the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who

has only one cow,

which was a gift from your government.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull and

build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them

both, shoots one, milks the other,  pays you for the milk, then pours the

milk down the drain.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the

other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops

dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want

three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are

eleventh the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live

for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are.

You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have

five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them

again and

learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of

vodka.

A MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two cows, but you're not sure

where they are. You'll look for them tomorrow.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You

charge for storing them for others.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership

with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American

corporation declares bankruptcy.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

A TALIBAN ORGANIZATION: You have only two cows. You load them up with

explosives and herd them onto your neighbor's property where you blow them

up. Your neighbor dies. You starve to death.