Cupid's Stupid
AN: Well, I've been in a funk lately with writing DOTM, so I thought I'd do something absolutely batshit to hopefully jog a few ounces of creativity out of my skull. This…was the end product. Three parts, enjoy!
Additional Note: Eros (pronounced air ross) is the Greek name for Cupid, the son of Aphrodite who shot people with arrows that made them fall in love, yadda yadda yadda. I figured if Selene has her children on Earth, the other deities probably do too, right?
The Shot Heard Round the World
"Oh, shoot," The young man muttered to himself as he stared intently at the scrap of paper he had found in the back of his jeans' pocket, "Mom is going to kill me."
It seemed rather insignificant, the folded up and creased piece of notebook paper that only had two names on it, but Eros, or just Ross as he was called now, knew better.
Ross knew he had forgotten one of his chores, and he slammed a palm against his forehead. Of course he forgot the important one!
Ross was one of those boys who would forever be regarded as adorable. Not handsome, not sexy, not even attractive, just adorable. His face, framed by curly gold locks of hair, had perpetual baby cheeks and his wide, naïve blue eyes reminded someone instantly of a puppy that had just piddled on the floor. You wanted to kick it, but it was just too cute.
Ross was a minor Greek deity, an important one at that.
Really, he was.
But he wasn't too bright all the time.
Which explained why he was running about two years late on an important assignment his mother, Aphrodite- Goddess of Beauty, Love, and Generally Most Pleasant And/Or Sparkly Things, had given to him to complete.
On the paper were the two names that would bring everlasting peace between the battle of Selene and the Atrox. Their love would halt the turmoil of the cosmos, and make everyone a little less pissed off in the process. Aphrodite had ordered this to be done because she was just about fed up to her little sparkling tiara- Selene and the Atrox were totally destroying her best matchmaking work! There had been Penelope and Hector- Ruined. Catty and Chris- Ruined. Veto and Jimena- Ruined. Lambert and Aura- well, she'd settle for a tie, since one was now a weird spectral thing and the other found that oddly kinky. Tianna and Derek- Ruined. Catty and Kyle-
Ha. Like she touched that one.
Anyways, it wasn't just her that was a bit miffed. All the Gods and Goddesses were just so sick of all the dramabetween those two. There hadn't been squabbling like this in Olympus since that whole 'Shotgun Wedding to Persephone' tiff between Demeter and Hades.
Making these two people fall in love would solve all the problems, eventually. After all, Aphrodite's forced relationships always worked out in the end, right? (Paris and Helen, Ariadne and Theseus, Hades and Persephone, Persephone and Adonis, Zeus and his harem, and all the others don't count. She was framed.)
So it was decided, Eros would make an immortal Follower and a Daughter of the Moon fall hopelessly in love and every thing would be wonderful! Make love, not war- that was the cult of Aphrodite's motto! (One a few Greek deities, such as a certain King of the Gods, took a bit too far)
Ross dug out his mystical, collapsible bow and arrow- dusting it off slightly to give it that ole romanticizing shine, and quickly rushed off to find his targets. To make amends for his approximate two years of slacking.
It didn't take Ross long to discover two Daughters of the Moon battling two Followers in a dark alley. Carefully, he hid behind an aluminum trash can and surveyed his targets. His wide eyes looked at the goddesses. They were breathtaking, one with dark hair and eyes and another with hair dyed crayola red with green eyes. Surely one of these was the one that was meant to fall in love with a Follower?
Ross, not exactly dedicated to his job of constantly shooting people with mystical arrows, decided to do eeney meeney miny moe. His pudgy, child-like finger selected the dark haired goddess. Right, one down.
His stare then went to the Followers, and he cringed. Neither of them were exactly good looking. One appeared to be in his middle ages with shoulder-length white hair, and the other had odd, two-toned hair with a face so covered in hooks it looked like a tackle box. Sighing, he repeated his careful selection process, his finger landing on the older one.
Nodding and congratulating himself on a job well done, Ross notched a golden arrow and his fingers drew back his Bow of Lurve, eyes narrowed as he aimed carefully…
OoO
"Why, oh why, can't we just go out for a few hours like normalpeople?" Serena demanded crossly as she tried to distract Lambert in a mental battle.
Jimena just sighed sadly and dodged a fist from Tymmie, the two had been involved in a fight with the pair of Infidi Followers ever since they had bumped into them outside of Planet Bang, and it was beginning to get a trifle annoying as their energy was dwindling.
Jimena's guard slipped, and she felt Tymmie begin to worm his way into her mind, "Serena, a little help?" She cried quickly.
Serena retreated from her telepathic battle and immediately tried to release the hold the telepathic Follower had over her best friend.
Lambert, seizing the opportunity of Serena's distraction, decided to gather a vast amount of energy and knock Jimena out from behind while she was under Tymmie's influence.
Just as Lambert was about to unleash hell in the form of a deadly lighting bolt on the poor, unsuspecting precognitive Daughter of the Moon, he felt himself freeze simultaneously as something pierced him rather harshly in the ass.
Jimena whirled around, Serena having broken the hold Tymmie had over her by hitting him in the head with a nearby brick. Pacifist code be damned, Tymmie was creepy.
Confusion appeared on her face when she realized that Lambert had a rather glazed over look on his features. Tensing, she brought her fists up in a defensive position and waited for him to make his move.
Lambert seemed overcome with emotion as he stared at her, "You…"
Jimena's fingers flexed, her amulet flashed dangerously.
"Have beautiful eyes," Lambert continued, a dopey smile on his face as his head tilted in consideration.
Said beautiful eyes almost bugged out of their sockets, and before Jimena could process what he said, her left fist connected strongly against his stomach.
The leader of the Infidi gave a wistful sigh, "And such wonderful upper body strength," He muttered flirtatiously, sinking to his knees and groaning in pain.
Jimena turned and glared at Serena over her shoulder, "What the hell was that?" She demanded.
The green eyed goddess could only stare in horror, mouth hanging wide open.
Ross smiled from behind his cover, quite proud of himself for helping the evil but redeemable Follower Stanton find true love with the Goddess Serena.