Resident Evil and Albert Wesker do not belong to me. If they do, Wesker would've ruled the world by now and Chris would be locked up in a rat-infested cell waiting to be used as a lab rat.

Author's Note: Wrote this at 2am in the morning. Decided to release some stress(actually it's just a lame excuse for my procrastination) before my paper later at 9am. Anywho... please do enjoy my attempt at "humour". Enjoy~

Oh and a lil' warning, please do not attempt to try any of these unless you are suicidal and do not value your life. I'm not entirely sure what Wesker will do to you, but i would rather not know(ok i lied, i'd probably film it), and for those who will attempt this, God speed, my friend, God speed!

30 ways to annoy Albert Wesker

30. Shoot 2 RPG rockets at his face

29. Scream Chris' name whenever he attempts to speak

28. Replace his sunglasses with a pair of spectacles with the lens coloured with black permanent markers

27. Show him horribly drawn yaoi pictures of him and Chris

26. Ask him if he's gay(since he doesn't seem to be interested in hot chicks like Excella and Jill)

25. Take his coat and dye it pink AND cut heart-shaped holes all over it

24. Replace his hair gel with super glue

23. Replace his PG67A/W serums with cyanide

22. Ask him about the birds and bees

20. Give his phone number to all the fangirls/fanboys

19. Tell him you're pregnant with his child

18. Delete all his research on his computer and replace them with tentacle sex porn(LOLWHUT)

17. Throw eggs at him when he's not looking

16. Spread rumours about him having a bromance with Chris

15. Ask him if he has a thing for Chris

14. Pretend you forgot about it and ask him again the next day(repeat this for infinite lolz)

13. Sell his viruses on EBAY

12. Ask him if he's Johnny Bravo's long-lost brother

11. Put nails into his boots

10. Inject him with his own serum every 5 minutes

9. Expose his hideout to the BSAA

8. Tell him Neo called and he wants his clothes back

7. Call him agent Smith

6. Take Samurai Edge and sell it to a pawn shop

5. Set him up on a blind date with Chris

4. Tell him he died in Resident Evil 5

3. Play Resident Evil 5 while he's watching(make sure it's the part where you have to hide from Wesker and Jill) and proceed to shoot him in the nuts

2. Throw him off a cliff through a window.

1. Glue his sunglasses to his face when he's asleep.