Disclaimer: Like I said I am not ASP
AN: This is my first fiction so be kind in reviewing. Please send me any feed back you think would be helpful!
Chapter One- Fall from Grace
She lay in the bed staring at the ceiling. She was thinking about how she even got there. She knew how she got there, a couple of drinks, a couple of nice words, and she gave in. She wanted to be bad, she wanted to be free, she went there because she was always the good girl and for once in her life she wanted to give in, give up and just be a little crazy.
Rory was always the play it safe girl. She rarely ruffled any feathers, she wasn't wild or out of control. She was planned, thoughtful and never caused much if any trouble. It was for all those reasons that she decided to go to Florida with her roommates and friends spring break of her freshman year at Yale.
Her mother was surprised by her wanting to go. She was thrilled that her sometimes tightly wound daughter decided to take a break that she had been begging her to take since she was in kindergarten.
Now laying in the dark of the hotel room that smelled of stale cigarettes and cheap beer, she couldn't believe what she had done. She looked at the person lying next to her and tried hard to remember if she even knew his last name or anything about him other than he didn't know what the sticks they were using to hit each other in the pool were called. She came up blank at every turn.
She felt him stirring beside her and instantly felt sick, what does one say after something like this. There wasn't time to say anything before he shot from the bed to the bathroom and began to free the contents of his stomach. She waited for a while, not knowing what to do. It had been about 45 minutes before she decided to get dressed and come back in the morning.
"Uh…I…I'm gonna go, I will come back in the morning." She said leaning up to the bathroom door and calling to him.
She took the grunt as an okay and snuck out the door and began her walk of shame back to her room. It was late or early depending…5:30 a.m. the normally hot humid air was cool against her skin and she shook from her chill for a moment. There were a couple of people still up but for the most part the normally buzzing pool area was quiet.
In the silence of the moment with the cool spray of the ocean on her skin, Rory felt for the first time in her life, truly unintelligent and a little more familiar of a feeling scared. She wanted to scream, or cry she could believe that this would be the way she was going to remember her first time. Of all the ways that she thought that she might have lost her virginity this was never on the list. There were thoughts with Dean and there were times that she almost went too far with Jess, but she never imagined that she would be one of those girls that would have sex with someone she barely knew.
She felt lonely, lost and scared, she picked up the phone, most girls wouldn't be in this situation and immediately think that they want to talk to their mother, but she had promised Lorelai a long time ago that she would tell her when it happened. And right now she needed to talk to her mother; she was the one who knew what to do in situations like this.
Lorelai looked at the clock as the phones ring tore through the dark. It was 5:30 am and her daughter was not at home, she was in Florida on spring break. Her heart sank as she picked up the phone and she instantly breathed a sigh of relief when her daughter's voice came on the other end of the line.
"Mom." Rorys voice came on the other end of the line. It was meek and mild.
"Honey whats wrong it's…" Lorelai stopped to look at the clock. "Five a.m."
"I did something stupid mom." Rory said.
Lorelai's head ran through the list of stupid things that she could have done. On her list it could have been anything from not returning her library books before she left to getting a tattoo. You never knew with Rory. She could tell that this wasn't a little mistake though.
"What, are you ok? Is Paris all right?"
"I am ok mom. But…" She said and stopped. Lorelai had little patience for her stammering at this early hour and she snapped at her.
"Rory what did you do?"
"Mom, I had sex…I had sex, and I…I…" Lorelai could tell she was on her way to melt down mode, heck Lorelai was already most of the way there. She had to keep breathing; she had to keep her head. Lorelai had told her she could tell her these things in fact she demanded it. And it was good that she was telling her, but at the same time that she was so happy for thier bond being close enough to talk about things like this. She wanted to cry and scream and be very angry with her, all the things she told her I wouldn't be as long as she was honest with her.
Lorelai took a deep breath and asked the questions that she needed to ask her in order to not go into her panic.
"Were you safe?" Was her first question.
"Yes." Rory said sniffing.
"Who was it?"
"His name is Sean. I just met him I don't even know his last name, I don't know where he is from, I don't even know how old he is."
She was spinning.
"Hang on Rory. He didn't force you did he?" She had to know.
"No." She said, the tone of her voice told Lorelai everything, she knew what she was doing but did it anyway, and now she was hurt and ashamed and mad at herself.
"Mom." She could tell she was waiting for her to tell her something anything.
"Are you going to see him again."
"I dunno, he was sick so I left, and I plan on going back there in the morning and seeing him again, that is what I told him." She said starting to snaffle again.
"Okay, so you might see him again…Rory hon, I am not sure you should…" Lorelai decided to abandon her cool mom rep for a moment and lay down the law. " Listen I think it is time to come home." She said in my best I am your mother do as I say voice.
"I know, Paris is already calling the airline."
That was the way it was with Rory Lorelai never had to punish her, she did a great job of that herself.
The girls found a flight for later that afternoon. Before they left Rory went to see if she could find Sean and get at least a phone number a last name anything to make her feel a little better about the whole situation.
She went to his room, he wasn't there, she walked around the pool and he wasn't there either, she spent about and hour looking for him but to no avail. He would forever be just Sean, the guy she slept with on spring break of 2003.
When their flight landed Lorelai was waiting at the gate. She didn't know what to say to her only daughter, she didn't know that there was anything to say. What was done was done there was no going back.
Rory saw her mother and ran to her almost knocking her down in her strong embrace. Lorelai felt tears in her eyes, she was still so much her little girl it was hard for her to think that she was also grown up and making her own decisions and mistakes.
Rory spent the next three days at home with her mother, they didn't really talk about what had happened. Not until the last night that she was there when Rory initiated the conversation.
"I am sorry," Rory said out of no where.
"What?" Lorelai said. "Did you eat the last of the Malomars or something?"
"No, I mean I am sorry about what I did. I am sorry I didn't talk to you first I am sorry, I made such a huge mistake."
"Honey." Lorelai said taking in a breath. "As much as I hate to admit it, you aren't going to be able to call and discuss every decision you make with mommy before you make it. I am sorry that you ended up hurt and I am sorry it was not the way either of us planned this to happen for you, but it did happen and you just have to go on from there. I am not mad at you, you are 19 years old Rory, I am just glad you made it this far. I was 15 when I made my first stupid decision, so you at least have four years on me."
There really wasn't any thing Rory could say to that. Her mother really understood what had happened, she had been there before and she didn't forget it. As much as Rory wanted her to be mad at her, she knew that Lorelai would never be mad at her as long as she was honest with her.
Rory had gone back to school and had managed to almost to forget about the whole thing. Until about two months later, she hadn't thought a thing of it at first. She was a little more tired than usual, but she had been busy with school. She hadn't been feeling well but there were a bunch of students with the flu. It wasn't until a week of sickness had passed that Janet her roommate said something to her that made her think.
Rory walked out of their bathroom after she had gone 9 rounds with the toilet. She looked like hell and felt worse.
"This is like the 6th day in a row, you aren't pregnant are you?" She said with a laugh, to her it was an absurd thought, Rory pregnant.
Rory however…panicked. She drove immediately to the drug store, and then to Stars Hollow fighting her tears all the way. She called her mother on her cell phone as she got into town.
"Mom. I need you to meet me at the house." She said.
"What? Are you there?" Lorelai said putting her mug down on the counter at Lukes.
"Yes, I am here. Mom, now I need you now." Rory said crying.
"Ok, I'll be right there." Lorelai didn't know what was going on but she knew that her daughter wouldn't just cut class to have a chit chat with her mother, and she definitely wouldn't be that upset about it.
Lorelai pulled into the drive and found her daughter sitting on the porch with her head in her hands cry.
"Honey whats wrong?" She said sitting by her daughter and wrapping her arm around her.
"I have to take a test." Rory said.
"Okay, what you didn't study for it or…" Lorelai started…she stopped cold as Rory held up a small brown paper bag.
"We aren't talking about a school test are we?" Lorelai said trying to stay calm.
"No." Rory said.
Lorelai didn't know what to say, she never thought that she would ever been in this place. She never thought Rory could ever be telling her that she thought she might be pregnant. Pregnant and nineteen. Lorelai was suddenly thrown into the place of her parents, all those years ago. She however refused to alienate her daughter, the only thing to do was to find out.
"Okay, well the sooner the better." She said helping Rory up.
"Mom." Rory started with tears in her eyes.
"I know." Lorelai said, and she really did, she knew all the feeling that her daughter was feeling right now, and she wished that she could take them all away and make them all better.
They sat on the edge of the tub in silence, the 3 minutes they had to wait seemed like an eternity, Rory had read and re-read the directions a thousand times before actually taking the test and now it was time to find out the results, and find out the path that her life would be taking.
Rory looked down at the stick and her hands shook. She looked up at her mother and Lorelai knew before she said a word that at 35 she was going to be a grandma.
"What am I going to do?" Rory said stinking to the floor tears welling up in her eyes.
"I don't know kid. This is your decision." Lorelai said still taken back by the shock of it all. "I can't believe that you are pregnant, my baby girl is pregnant!" Lorelai said almost surprising herself by her reaction.
"I'm so sorry mom."
"You can't be sorry Rory this isn't something that sorry is going to fix."
"I didn't mean for this to happen, we were safe. I mean."
"Those things are only so effective and God knows how drunk you were. I am going to be a grandma and my daughter doesn't even know the fathers last name." Lorelai said.
Rory was shocked by her mothers' words it wasn't supposed to be like this.
"Mom, I am so sorry." Rory said bawling and reaching for her mother.
It was the first time Lorelai didn't really feel like reaching back. She was so disappointed in her daughter, so shocked, so bewildered by it all.
"I am going to need a minute Rory." Lorelai said walking out of the room.
Lorelai walked out of the bathroom and down the hall to her bed room. She couldn't believe that her baby girl was going to have a baby, she sat on her bed looking at a picture of she and Rory on Rory's first birthday. Lorelai was only 17 in that picture. She felt like she had failed that little girl in the picture, was she wrong being so close to her daughter? Should she have established a harsher line between them? Did Rory not listen to her warnings because she didn't take her seriously? She was a mother at 16 and was going to be a grandmother at 36 she couldn't believe it. She let all her doubts fill her mind and just as she was reaching the height of her sadness Rory walked into her room.
"Mom." She said her voice was low and scared. "Mom, I am scared."
Lorelais heart melted. As much as she wanted to be angry with her daughter she knew she couldn't just let her be scared and alone.
"Come in." Lorelai said.
Rory crawled up onto the bed with her mother and sank into her loving arms. Lorelai squeezed her shoulders and kissed her forehead.
"I love you Rory. I am sorry I got angry, I just never thought…"
"Me either." Rory said.
"So we are having a baby." Lorelai said.
"Yeah."
"It is going to be okay Rory, we are going to do this…together." Lorelai said. She brushed back Rorys hair as they lay on her bed, she looked again at the photo of them on her bedside table, her baby was having a baby.