cross posted from ao3
Stacker asks him where he would prefer to die and Raleigh nearly marches across the helipad and punches him. Stacker has no right to ask Raleigh anything ever. Not after what he did to them all. It has been years and Raleigh has not seen one payment, birthday card or letter. If the world was not honestly about to end Raleigh would gleefully tell his husband to go and fuck himself a second after forcing him to finally sign the damn divorce papers. As it happens the world is ending so he demands three hours to get his things together before turning on heel and marching off while leaving Stacker standing in the rain staring after him.
Jazmine refuses to let him go alone and convinces him that the twins need someone to look after them while he is off fighting monsters. Shatterdomes don't come with babysitters. They don't have a lot so it does not take long to pack. What takes time is explaining to the kids what is going on. They are seven years old now and they understand too much and not enough at the same time.
"I don't want to see him. He doesn't care about us! He can fight the monsters. He is a pilot!" Troy screams, adamantly sitting in the corner of his bedroom and refusing to come out never mind put his shoes and coat on as requested. His sister, Paris, is not screaming at Raleigh but she is not putting her shoes on either.
"Bud, they need everybody. They need me. The shatterdome will be fine and you don't need to see your father if you don't want to. Well, you do on the journey there but I promise that when we get there you will not have to see him."
"Are we going on a plane?" Paris inquires softly, picking up her battered second hand kindle from the chest of drawers and moving slowly towards Jaz in the doorway.
"A helicopter. Won't that be fun?"
"No." Troy says loudly, setting his jaw and glowering at his dad. Oh how he looks like Stacker when he does that. His mass of curls takes away from the impact though and Raleigh can't hold back the soft laugh.
"Please guys. I need you with me on this. You will be part of my crew. We can get you matching t-shirts." Raleigh teases. Troy is still glaring but he gets up to his feet and Paris takes that as a sign to leave the room, her brother following after her as they head towards the front door and their boots.
"Are you sure about this?" Jaz asks quietly.
"Not in the slightest."
Stacker is not in the helicopter when they arrive so Raleigh gets his kids belted in and set up with Jaz's tablet to watch a movie. When his husband does appear only the widening of his eyes show any reaction to the children. They ignore him stubbornly and Raleigh is just cruel enough to not force them to say hello. The flight passes in a tense and awkward silence with Stacker glancing at his kids when he thinks that Raleigh is not watching.
Mako meets them on the helipad in Hong Kong and she is far more open, failing to hold back her gasp as the children hop off the helicopter behind Raleigh. They hide behind his legs as Pentecost leads them into the shatterdome.
"We have given you larger quarters than the pilot standard to accommodate the children of course. Additionally we are trying to source toys and books and such to help make their time here easier."
He looks at Raleigh as if looking for approval, it being unsaid that we means I. Raleigh glares at him and stomps off the first chance he gets.
Whispers follow Raleigh and the children everywhere. Jaz glares at people while Raleigh ignores them. Some of the whispers are about if he can still hack it but most are about the children and how blindingly obvious it is that Stacker is their father. Chuck has a chip and a half on his shoulder when it comes to Raleigh but he is happy to let the twins play with his dog whenever they are around. The sound of children's laughter seems to brighten many spirits.
It takes a week for Stacker to appear at his door in casual clothes and ask to talk.
"Jaz, how about you take the kids to see Mako? They did those pictures for her this morning."
Glaring at Stacker she slips out with the kids who are giving their father more curious glances each day. It has been a long day and Raleigh is tried from attempting the drift with Mako and everything that failure brought with it. Anything Stacker had to say on that front he could have said earlier so Raleigh knows this is personal.
"I was angry and bitter that you left. Days turned to weeks, turned to months, and then it felt too late to get in touch. You did not leave me an address. I assumed you wanted me out of your life and theirs but I never could bring myself to sign the papers so I just left you alone." He states calmly, infuriatingly calmly as far as Raleigh is concerned.
"You could have found me, no problem at all."
"I didn't think you wanted to be found."
"You should have done it anyway. Fuck that. You are their father and you hardly look at them!"
"I did not think you wanted me too. I don't..." He stops, flails his arms a little, and sits down on the worn sofa against the back wall. "I don't know if they remember me or if they know who I am. I did not want to scare them but...I need to ask. I want to know them."
"You are a colossal asshole!" Raleigh hisses at him before marching towards the mini fridge that has been squashed between the kid's beds. He pulls two beers out and all but launches one at his husband before opening his own with more force than required." All this time you could have been in their lives, helping me, but you didn't because...because...you should have tried harder, not gone on some weird ass guilt trip."
"I know."
Raleigh perches on the end of Troy's bed and tries to get his thoughts in order. Mostly he just wants to punch Stacker in the face again or maybe stab him with a fork. "They know who you are. Troy did not want to come because you are here. Said you should get in the Jaeger and fight. Paris watches you a lot. She might agree to talk to you. I won't force them."
"All I want is a chance to ask them for a chance."
"So ask."
Then Stacker's nose is bleeding and something uncomfortable twists in Raleigh's stomach. He remembers having to remind Stacker to take his meds a lot.
"You remembering to take those damn pills yet?"
"Every day. I won't die until this war is over, Raleigh. I don't want my kids growing up in fear any longer." His voice is hard. So this war has been him protecting his family from afar. That is why he is fought so hard to remain in charge. Others would burn out, let someone else take the wheel for a while. But that is Stacker, stubborn to the end. The man Raleigh fall in love with. Dammit.
Well what the hell, the world is ending right?
He puts his beer on the side loudly and deliberately and then advances on Stacker who blinks up at him, calculating. Then Raleigh slowly lowers himself until he is straddling his husband on the sofa. Large cold hands slip under his oversized jumper and he feels his breathe hitch slightly.
"Are you sure?"
"No. Gonna do it anyway though."
Before Stacker has a chance to approach the kids the siren is going off and Raleigh and Mako are being hurried into their suits. Raleigh has no time to speak to the children but hears Stacker settling them into seats in the control room so they can keep up with what is going on. Both kids are deathly quiet and Raleigh cannot decide if he wants them to see this or not. They have seen Jaegers on life tv before but that was before he was in the pod.
When the cables drop them loose he puts everything and everyone out of his mind but Mako and goes to work. It feels like slipping on old leather gloves. They fit and keep him comfortable but they creak a little around the edges and take time to settle back in. By the time he gets back to the dome his nerve has abandoned him and he's desperate to see his kids. When he gets out of the pod and onto the platform Troy is running towards him and Paris is being carried by her father, clinging tightly to the lap of his jacket. Raleigh's stomach does the weird flip again.
"That was awesome!" Troy proclaims loudly.
"No it wasn't! I saw you crying!"
"Shut up you!"
"You shut up! You were scared!"
"Enough." Raleigh says it calmly and quietly but his kids don't need more than that.
"Thanks for looking out for them"
Stacker smiles sadly and places Paris down on the floor so she can reach Raleigh. "That is my job."
Jaz and the kids stay close after that. All three of them hug him at random intervals for no reason. The last time Jaz saw a brother in a Jaeger she lost him. Troy later whispers to his dad that Paris was right and she was scared. Raleigh says that is ok but he is good at his job.
Paris draws a picture for Stacker and thrusts it at him shyly before fleeing the canteen. Stacker beams with pride and the rumour mill tells Raleigh it is now pinned to his office wall. Troy takes another few days and then randomly takes his tray at breakfast and wanders away from his family, plonking himself down next to his father without a word and digging into his porridge. Raleigh smiles and is glad to see it. He knows it won't last and a screaming fit will appear at some point but for now it is nice to his kids embrace their father. Maybe there is a chance things can work out.
That evening Stacker comes to their rooms and asks if he might read the children a story. He has an old and battered copy of Matilda with him and Raleigh agrees the moment he sees two excited faces peering up at him from their beds. Jaz remains quiet in the corner and holds back her usual glares.
"A moment of your time?"
"Uh, sure. I need to talk to you anyway." Stacker then moves towards the door and motions for Raleigh to follow him into the hallway which he does so confusedly.
"I'm going into the Jaeger with Chuck. I wanted you to know first."
"You can't do that! The damage wa-"
"I know. But there is no one else. We need both Jaegers out there. I might make it."
"You might not. The kids just found you again!" Raleigh is despairing. It seems like Stacker's words are coming from very far away and panic grips him.
"Then they can remember me as a nice person who read them stories and not the one they think abandoned them. I'm doing this for them. For you. " Stacker says calmly. "I have my will in order so you will get everything."
"Fuck that, no. I refuse to talk about your will as if you are already dead." Raleigh snaps, trying very hard to keep his voice down.
Stacker reaches out and hesitantly cups Raleigh's cheek with his hand. The blond turns into it instantly and lets his eyes close for a moment. Well shit. He still loves the bastard.
"The crew does not think we have much time left. Go and spend it with our kids." And before Raleigh can begin to form a response Stacker is marching away from him. It is a moment later that Raleigh realises the copy of Matilda has been forced into his hand.
A second after that Raleigh realises he never did tell Stacker that he is pregnant again. Neither of them should be getting into a Jaeger. Both of them have to.
They close the breach. Chuck has horrific burns. Raleigh stopped breathing at one point and Stacker is not dead. He is not in the best shape either but he is alive and the Doctors have to sedate him when he keeps demanding to see his kid's between declarations that he is still alive. Raleigh makes sure he has the twins at Stacker's bedside the moment he is deemed stable.
"Papa! You're ok!" Troy is on the bed before Raleigh has got through the doorway and he doesn't have the heard to tell him to get down. Instead he finds himself helping Paris up after him. Papa. He has not heard that word from the twins in a long time. How quickly children can forgive and move on has always astounded Raleigh.
"Well, ok is maybe a step too far, little man, but I'm still here."
"What's in this drip?" Paris demands, tugging the tubing and making Stacker wince.
"No idea but it should help me stop being sick. In fact I might end up better than before."
"Really?" Raleigh blurts it out with wide eyes. The radiation sickness has plagued Stacker for years.
"It is a test trial but I seem to be a lucky spree so I'm giving it a shot." Stacker says slowly. "Don't pull on it, Par. it needs to stay in."
"I'm pregnant." Raleigh blurts out a moment later. No point beating around the bush and he has a feeling that if he doesn't tell him now he will be waddling by the time he gets the nerve again. Stacker chokes on his own spit and starts coughing. Troy thumps him heartily on the back while Raleigh scrambles to get him water.
"Oh. Wow. Ok. I did not expect that."
"Neither did I. Again. We're idiots."
"Dad's going to get fat." Paris declares, as if she is utterly delighted at the idea.
"Like a big whale." Troy adds gleefully. "I hope it is a boy."
Raleigh is pretty sure that their reactions should be more dramatic than that.
"Don't leave. To have the baby. Don't leave me again. Stay."
"I want my own room if we are staying." Troy states loudly. Raleigh smiles and then he is laughing.
"We're a mess. I'll stay. We'll talk. You get out of here first. Something like that."
They don't work. They never will. Trying though.