It had been a year since they had been married. A year to the day in fact. It was July 25, mid summer in California, and yet the brutal southern sun was still pale and weak as it tried desperately to warm the sands. Kensi was, as per usual on a Sunday morning, wrapped in Deeks' arms as they sat on their favorite rock and watched the surfers bob up and down as the swells passed under them. Each one crashed on the shore with a cadence that seemed to beat in rhythm with Deeks' own heart, his full and joyful heart that had been mended by the woman he held so close to him.

This Sunday was special, as it obviously marked their first anniversary, but Kensi smiled as she thought about just how special this Sunday would be. He traced circles on her thighs delicately with his finger, breathing in her scent. Sunshine and gunpowder. And that scent mixed with the salty ocean air was enough to make his heart burst with pure and natural joy, the type one can only feel when they have no fears or worries in the world, their demons are gone, and their souls are whole. But his complete bliss was brought down by a thought that had been weighing on his mind. He kissed the top of her head and sighed.

"What is it, Deeks?"

"What – what do you mean?"

"I know something's up. You always forget I can read you like a book, and I'm not even looking at you. So come on, out with it."

"Kens I – I think I want kids."

She turned to face him, but his arms stayed around her waist. Her eyebrow was raised, she was expecting an explanation of course.

"I'm not really sure how to explain it honestly. It's just when I pictured my future I always imagined kids in it. Maybe – maybe I just wanted to prove to myself that I can be better than my father, not that that's saying much, but I dunno. I guess I just had such a shitty childhood, that in some weird way I wanted to make up for it by giving my kid the best childhood ever."

Kensi ran her fingers affectionately through his beachy blonde hair and looked into his deep blue eyes. She saw hurt there, and maybe something that one might think was shame, and it quite literally shot pain through her heart.

"Deeks," she whispered, her words just audible above the rushing of the distant waves, "Deeks, I'm gonna tell you something okay?"

She looked determined, and her voice was strained with purpose.

"Marty Deeks you are the most amazing man I've ever met, and one of the many reasons I'm hopelessly in love with you is because you are so inexplicably good with kids. The reason you should want kids is not because you want to prove that you can be a better father than your was, but because every kid I've ever seen you with has been instantly happier. You just have this way with them, it's incredible, and it's something I wish I had."

He looked thoughtful, but not surprised, she always had a rather desperate tone when she tried to prove something to him, and he couldn't help but smile as her eyes searched him, filled with concern. He chuckled, glancing at the ground and then moved his gaze beyond her, to the vast ocean beyond. He sighed and continued to watch the surfers.

"It's stupid, really. Why are we even talking about this I mean, isn't this something normal couples talk about before the get married?

"Marty I think you know we aren't a normal couple."

"Whoa there, bringin' out the first name what's that about?"

She just smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. Of course they hadn't thought about it before they had gotten married, they were so completely and hopelessly in love that all they could see was each other, all they could think about was each other. Until now, Kensi knew it would have to change now.

"You really want kids don't you Deeks?"

"Yeah," he sighed, "yeah I do."

She looked him straight in the eyes, her arms were around his neck and she pulled him closer.

"Well that's good, because I'm pregnant."

She watched with amusement as her words registered. His eyes were the first to give away his bewilderment; they grew wide and gleamed with vivid excitement and utter shock. He stood up, gaping at her.

"Kens, are you serious right now?"

"Don't be stupid Deeks of course I'm serious. I'm about a month along now," she said matter-of-factly. In an instant he had swept her up into his arms and in his excitement lifted her into the air. She laughed and he brought her down into his embrace again, still twirling in circles as he grinned and kissed her passionately.

Finally he set her down but kept her in his grasp. She leaned into him, eliminating any possible space left between their bodies, as she nuzzled her head into his chest.

"I'm scared."

At first he thought he hadn't heard her right, as her words exposed such vulnerability that it seemed they didn't want to escape her lips. But they did, she had said it without even thinking, her heart had spoken where her pride would not. And it was the truth, she was horribly, completely, and insanely scared to be a mother. She knew she wasn't like Deeks, and she thanked God every day that she had him, because she knew he would be an amazing parent, but she had her doubts about herself. Could she be compassionate, understanding, act as a mother would? Of course, she was married to Deeks after all. But was she equipped to be an actual mother to a real child? She was not so sure.

"Kens," he said as he distanced himself from her just enough to get a proper look at her, "you will be the most amazing mother, and I don't want to hear another thing about it."

Kensi smiled and her heart warmed as she stared into his calming blue eyes, in that moment all doubt seemed to have evaporated, and she believed every word he said, she would be a great mother.