Fairytale endings…we read about them in storybooks as children, and it is easy to imagine the prince riding up on his white horse to whisk us away to our happily ever after. As adults, we know better. There is no prince, and there is no white horse, and there certainly is no happily ever after. If we ever get to a place where we think we might have a chance to get that perfect life…it is short and fleeting. There comes a time where you have to tell that little girl inside of you to stop wasting time on daydreams…but I guess that's the good thing about being a child. You are naïve and pure….as adults we are jaded. We're damaged. Sure, there are those select few who are lucky enough to have the happiness they dreamed of as children…I guess I'm just not one of them.

Even after several months of being an intern, Meredith Grey still wanted to scream every time the alarm clock beside her bed went off. After a hot shower and some coffee, she could be considered a part of the human race, but today Meredith was not going to get out of bed. The aftermath of too much tequila pounded her skull and made her stomach twist painfully and in a way that she was afraid soon she would have to bolt to the nearest bathroom. It was a fact, Dr. Meredith Grey no longer believed in happy endings. She didn't know what to believe in anymore. In one night everything she thought was true seemed to disappear. She was dumped, or at least that is the conclusion she jumped to when after another hour, and an unknown number of tequila shots, Derek still hadn't shown up.

The embarrassment of the situation completely outweighed any amount of pain and nausea she was feeling at the moment. It made her grimace to remember how she had stood in front of him in the scrub room, tears in her eyes, begging him to choose her. Letting out a groan, Meredith pulled a pillow over her head. She told him that she loved him! Frowning at her stupidity, she could not imagine going into work today. She would call in sick, she had to. Sure, it meant Bailey would have her doing sutures in the pit until the anger subsided, but that did not matter to her at the moment. Nothing mattered. Nothing mattered besides staying in bed and disconnecting herself from the real world, the world that required dealing with your problems. Meredith did not do well with dealing. What she did very well with was bottling up her emotions. Denial was very appealing at the moment.

A brisk knock at her door forced Meredith out of her thoughts and into reality, a place she definitely did not want to be. Groaning again, she pulled the pillow tighter over her head, trying to shield out the continuous knocking that only made the pain she was feeling that much worse. The problem with denial was that it is hard to shut yourself out with roommates. Especially very annoying roommates that were about to see just how cranky Meredith Grey could be.

"Meredith? Meredith, are you awake? You're going to miss rounds." Izzie's voice filtered through the door, sounding muffled to Meredith underneath the thick fabric of the pillow. She muffled something incoherent in response, just wishing Izzie would just go away. She could not deal with the sympathy and pity she knew she would get from her roommates. They were sitting right there at Joes…they were sitting right there when Derek broke her heart. The next voice that Meredith heard was George's.

"M-meredith?" George stammered, and Meredith could almost see his boyish face streaked with worry and concern. "I know this isn't easy…b-but you shouldn't let…" Izzie's voice broke in, cutting off George.

"He's a jerk, Meredith. Don't let him do this to you. Go to work, ignore him, and act like it doesn't mean anything. You know you can't miss work…Bailey will have your head."

Meredith knew she was right; the struggle was making herself care. Izzie did have a point. Missing work would just show Derek the effect he has on her, and confirm Addison's victory over her. She allowed a bitter laugh to escape her throat, and immediately regretted it, her stomach churning in disagreement.

"I made coffee…and muffins." Izzie offered, voice hopeful. Although food did not sound appetizing at all to Meredith, the thought of coffee made her perk up a bit. Knowing the two of them were not going to leave until they at least got her out of bed, Meredith grudgingly swung her legs to the side of the bed, and gave her head a moment to stop spinning before standing up. Forcing the nausea down, she dragged her feet over to the door and opened it.

If looks could kill, both of Meredith's roommates would be toast. George just stood there sheepishly, obviously forced by Izzie to be there to awaken Meredith from her tequila-induced slumber.

"You look like crap. Drink this." Izzie thrust a mug of steaming coffee into her hands.

"Gee thanks." The gruffness of her own voice even surprised Meredith. She took a long sip of the hot liquid, ignoring the burning sensation in her mouth, as it felt like heaven sliding down her dry throat.

"Take a shower, and get your butt dressed or we are going to be late. No arguments." Izzie said sternly, and Meredith didn't have the strength to argue. Shuffling to the bathroom, she tried not to think about how she would inevitably see Derek at the hospital and would be forced to deal with the situation. She was in the land of denial, and wanted to stay there for a good, long while.

Pulling her scrub top over her head, Meredith thanked the gods in heaven that she had managed to not see Derek on her way to the locker room. They had even taken the elevator, a risky choice with Meredith's history, but luckily they found it empty. She was only half-listening to her friends' animated conversations around her, pulling her dark blonde hair up into a haphazard ponytail. For probably the one and only time in her career, she prayed that Bailey would stick her in the pit. Minimal contact with the attendings meant a very slim chance she would have to see Dr. Shepherd…or his wife, she thought bitterly. Bailey's powerful voice cut through the chaotic noise of the locker room, and Meredith looked up, waiting for her assignment.

"Karev, pit. We've got lots of patients waiting for sutures, and we're understaffed today. Move it." There goes that…, Meredith thought with a sigh. "Yang and Stevens, you're with Burke today, O'Malley, come with me, and Grey...Dr. Shepherd has requested you today." And she thought her day couldn't get any worse until Dr. Bailey corrected herself. "Make that Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd. Now move."

She was wrong. It could get worse.

Derek Shepherd was never a person to be unsure of his decisions. As a surgeon, you're required to have a certain amount of confidence in your knowledge and decision making. As a surgeon, Derek was rarely wrong in the choices he made. Why, then, was it so hard to make decisions about his personal life? Why was it so easy for him to screw things up? The day before, in that scrub room, he thought he knew exactly what he wanted. When Meredith stood in front of him, telling him she loved him, asking him to choose her, he thought it was certain. She was it. She was the one for him. Then why didn't he go to Joe's last night? Why didn't he sign the papers? He still hadn't made his decision, and he didn't know why it was so hard to do so. Addison was his wife. He made vows, and his dilemma was whether to honor those vows, or choose the person who truly made him happy. He didn't deserve Meredith, especially after everything he was putting her through. She had no reason to take him back, no reason to love him, and yet she was willing to.

He kept going back to the memory of Addison's betrayal. She had broken their vows. She had slept with his best friend. It wasn't as if he forgave her for it all, but marriage was a commitment. Could he just give up those eleven years without giving it a try? Seeing if it would work out? Although Addison had hurt him deeply, he didn't want to hurt her, but the thought of hurting Meredith was even more unbearable to him. He knew by not showing up last night, Meredith probably assumed that he had made the decision to stay with his wife. Derek hadn't gone home the night before either, telling Addison he had a late surgery and was going to stay in the on-call room. Derek was ashamed of his behavior, but this was not a decision he could take lightly. He had to choose between ending his marriage or leaving the woman who had made him the happiest he had ever felt…even on his wedding day. Being with Meredith was… he couldn't even come up with the words to describe how she made him feel. She made him feel alive, in a way he had never experienced. How could he walk away from that? Then again, how could he walk away from eleven years of marriage without making an effort?

Closing the chart in front of him, Derek turned to walk down the hall and froze. There was Meredith…with his wife. They had seen him, there was no way he could turn and walk the other way and pretend he hadn't seen them. Meredith was looking straight at him, and her expression was unreadable. It could almost be described as blank…unfeeling. She looked completely and utterly defeated, and it broke his heart. Addison was looking at him with the same measured, questioning gaze that seemed to bore into his brain, as if she wanted to know his innermost thoughts. He couldn't blame her; he wasn't exactly forthcoming about his true feelings for Meredith…or anything really. He had kept communication with his wife to an absolute minimum, especially the past few days. Having both of the women in his life just looking at him, just made the pressure of the decision he was going to have to make even more significant. He took a deep breath to prepare himself as Addison started toward him, Meredith a few feet behind her, eyes downcast.

"Derek," Addison smiled at him, but the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. "I was about to page you. I need a neuro-consult on my patient. She's showing signs of a possible subdural hematoma. She's at 6 months, fell and hit her head. I've already ordered the CT." She kept her voice clipped and professional which was a definite sign of annoyance. She was tired of waiting as well. She had already told him she would sign the papers if he did and leave Seattle. All he had to do was sign. Sighing, she handed the chart to Meredith, and fixed her gaze on Derek once again. "I have another patient to go see, page me when you get the results…" She looked at Meredith one last time before walking down the hall, her heels clicking rhythmically against the tile floor.

"I'll get the patient up to the CT." Meredith's voice was cold and detached, and she would not look up at him.

"Meredith… we need to talk." He took a step toward her, his blue eyes fixed on her.

"We have a patient that needs a CT, Dr. Shepherd. I don't need to talk to you about anything other than this patient." She turned to walk away from him, heading toward the patient's room.

"We do have something to talk about…Mer, last night I…"

"Dr. Shepherd, I told you, I don't need any explanation. It's fine, you made your choice, and I'd appreciate it if you left me alone." Her voice had become angry and she did not give Derek the chance to reply as she turned the corner into the patient's room.

"Hello Mrs. Kane, this is Dr. Shepherd. He is our head of neurosurgery, we're going to take you up to the CT and run some tests now." Meredith had plastered a polite smile on her face, and even though she acknowledged Derek, he felt as if she was acting like he wasn't there. He'd get a chance to talk to her. He had to. He had to make her understand.

Even with having to work on the same patient, Meredith had managed to avoid a conversation with Derek. What made her even more annoyed is he kept trying to push her into discussing the situation with him. There was nothing to discuss. He dumped her for his supermodel-esque wife who was impossible to hate. When Addison had requested her earlier that day, Meredith was sure she was going to get it rubbed in her face that Derek had chosen her. She was surprised when Addison clearly seemed to have picked Meredith because she wanted her help on the case. The only time she brought Derek up was when they discovered the possible brain injury. Meredith had to admire the woman, she did have class. They had to do surgery on Mrs. Kane, and Meredith was able to scrub in, so she was the last to leave the hospital that night.

The locker room was empty, and Meredith had just finished getting dressed and combing out her damp hair when the door opened. She didn't have to look to know who it was. Here it was, the conversation she was avoiding all day long, the conversation she didn't want to have.

"Meredith…" She merely turned her head and looked at him when he spoke. She just looked tired. "Last night at Joe's…I should have come. I should have come to tell you…"

"I get it Derek. I get it, OK? We don't have to do this whole 'I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry' thing. I don't want your apology. You made your choice, you're staying with your wife. Good for you. Just please stop looking at me like I'm some charity case!" Shaking her hair out of her stormy eyes, Meredith stood up, yanking her bag onto her shoulder.

"I don't think you're a charity case. And I didn't choose her…I haven't made my choice yet." Derek slid his hands into his pockets, watching the anger fade from her eyes momentarily before it came back with a vengeance, bringing a flush to her cheeks.

"Well how about I make it easy for you?" She spat out, and brushed past him, headed for the door. Before she could place her hand on the cold metal handle, his strong hand slid around her arm and turned her around to face him. Opening her mouth to shout at him again, she was cut off by the crush of his lips against hers. Her bag slid off her arm to the ground as she wound her arms around his neck, one hand clinging to the soft fabric of his navy sweater, one wound in his hair. She felt the cold metal of the lockers against her back as his hands slid under the hemline of her shirt, exploring the soft skin of her stomach and lower back.

The familiar feel of his hands against her skin was almost more than Meredith could stand. She pressed herself against him, desperate to feel him. It had been too long since his talented hands had explored her body thoroughly, bringing about the most potent pleasure she had ever experienced. His lips traveled down to her neck, ruthlessly attacking her skin and assaulting her senses. She couldn't see, or hear, or think…there was only him.

"Derek…" She moaned, and suddenly they were brought back to reality. They were standing right by the doorway of the locker room where anyone could walk by and see them, his hands under her shirt, her legs practically wrapped around him. She looked up at him questioningly. It was all too much to process, and her body suddenly felt cold as he took a step back from her, his eyes still dark cobalt, swimming with desire.

"I just need more time…another day. I… just need more time." And that was all he said, leaving her breathless and confused as he left the locker room.

That's the problem with happily ever afters… the storybooks never tell you what happens next.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! The next chapters will feature more Mer/Der interaction, as well as some fun angst as always, so please review!!