2004 – New Year, New Problems
Story #11: One Last Mystery for Ichijouji
Author's Notes: This story covers Ken and is the last in this particular series. What is explored here will largely be picked up in future story arcs, but for the moment what will happen is for me to know and you to find out:-) Flashback/remembrance sequences are written in italics. Enjoy!
Date: 1/4/2004
Time: 2:00 pm
Place: Ichijouji residence, Ken's room
It was simply unbelievable. Even after 5 days, it was still unbelievable how that battle had went down...
Ken Ichijouji simply stared at the floor in a semi-depressed state. He knew he should have been happy after that great victory over MaloMyotismon, but the very fact that it was an old foe the first Digidestined they thought defeated that had depressed him...
He rubbed the back of his neck... where the Dark Spore was, or had been. The Spore had been his bane, not the blessing he might have thought of it, and to know that it had victimized others besides himself broke him down.
All he wanted to ask was "Why me?" and "Why Myotismon, out of all the Digimon it could have been?!?". He had spent most of the first two days after the battle, physically and mentally drained, either weeping into his pillow or in half-controlled fits of rage, where he would throw various knickknacks around in an effort to release a seemingly limitless anger within him. Now, fate was not only being capricious with him, but mocking his genuine efforts to recover what he had lost during the madness that characterized his days as the "Digimon Emperor"...
Myotismon had not only taken advantage of the Spore that fate had cursed him with to capture him, but used it to push him into being the "Digimon Emperor". "I could've lost everything, even my life! Why did you do this to me?!!?" was what Ken wanted to yell at him, but he knew it would be of no effect. Myotismon was gone for good, but the trauma was so great Ken wasn't sure he would ever recover completely.
The craziness of that link... every time he heard about Myotismon, it was always as something denigrating, particularly when it came from Gatomon. Before, it was just stories from 4 years ago, but now, it was more real than Ken could bear to think about... and it was ripping him apart from the inside out.
During those two days, when Ken felt as though his heart had been ripped out of him, he received much comfort from his parents as well as Wormmon, but there was one Digimon he wanted to be with so badly: Gatomon. "She's the only one that can really understand, the only one who can really care." Ken thought.
Ken was also sure that everyone expected him to start coming closer to Kari because of Gatomon. "It's not just an expectation, I really want to be around her." Ken stated, because, even though Wormmon certainly meant well, hugging him just wasn't the same as hugging something soft and furry, something you know can provide you comfort, something you know will understand you, which is what Gatomon was, at least to him now.
After two days, though, Ken finally stood up and decided to do something other than sit around and cry himself a puddle of tears. He decided to pick up whatever he could of the fame that he lost and rebuild his public image. He didn't think this was wrong, as he still had the intellect and athletic skills "gifted" to him by the Spore, and he certainly didn't wanted them wasted just because they had been misused before.
Ken also knew that likely he would have to come clean in public about those days he was missing; it was fortunate that no one outside of the Digidestined knew about "the Emperor", or Ken would truly have been finished in terms of being a celebrity. It was uncomfortable having to hold that secret around inside him, but it was the best case scenario because it allowed Ken to discuss it on his timetable and on his terms, which would allow him to show how mad he had become during that time and how wrong the cruelty was.
Also, the battle hadn't exonerated him completely of the stigma of having once been the "Digimon Emperor". Yes, he was a cruelly misused tool that Myotismon used, but you can't excuse the tool for doing something just because someone used it. Ken sighed heavily; this probably wouldn't go away until he could go public honestly and truthfully about it...
He also may have thought his whole attempt to rebuild what image he had left would have been in vain had it not been for a certain phone call made by Cody to him and Kari yesterday. Going over to do kendo with Cody's grandpa seemed somewhat bizarre at first, but it became therapeutic as it allowed Ken an outlet for his anger through kendo practice, and also allowed him to meet Gatomon again, the first time since the battle.
Other things had happened that time too. Being with Kari made Ken feel much better about himself, whether he laughed with her or sparred with her in kendo; he was sure that it was the beginning of something that could be very important in this new year 2004. Also, seeing Cody so sorry for the doubt, broken as he was, showed a sincerity and an honesty that Ken thought may not have been possible for him.
Wormmon had also told him that, while he was talking with Gatomon in the corner (when Kari had her first practice run), that she had compared him to Wizardmon, which was for her the highest complement she could give. Seeing Wormmon's bright eyes, Ken realized that Gatomon was absolutely right in making that comparison, and he also began to wonder if Wormmon's joy was the result of some form of admiration coming from either direction. Nothing could be known for sure, as he didn't know if Kari knew about the conversation.
But what Ken did know was that he could take a few pointers on how to be gracious from the feline Digimon, particularly after showing Cody that she had forgiven whatever hypocrisy she may have recognized. Seeing her hugging Cody, it was so touching, and made Ken think about how he could be like that. He would have to have time to learn, but he wanted to do it, and admittedly Gatomon was just fun to be around, which considering what she had been would be surprising to people...
Ken wished he could go over to the Kamiya apartment right now, talk to Kari and Gatomon, come to a place where they could work out the common sorrow together...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Ken, could you come here, please?" Ken heard his mom ask in a fairly loud voice.
"Hmm... wonder what Mom wants?" he thought worriedly as he got up and exited his room. He quickly walked out toward the living room, but caught something out of the corner of his eye, and turned...
"What in the world?!?" Ken thought as he saw what had caught his attention: apparently, part of the kitchen area was covered in a tangle of white, sticky threads! Furthermore, Mom had become stuck to one of the threads; that and the mess explained the attitude she now posed.
"Would you care to explain this?" she asked in a "be honest, mister!" tone of voice.
Ken thought for a moment, then winced as he realized what was going on. Over the last two days, he had told Wormmon that he should practice his "web-slinging skills", partly to make up for his still-present guilt of once treating him as almost nothing, during those mad Emperor days. But apparently Wormmon had done it in the wrong place, using the oven window as a target, and now had made a sticky mess with his practicing.
Ken glanced around to see where Wormmon would have gone, and a hunch lead him to open a cabinet door. Staring out from inside the cabinet was a guilty-looking Wormmon.
Ken sighed in exasperation and said, "When I said to go practice your web-slinging skills, I meant for you to take it outside!"
"But it's too cold outside to practice!" Wormmon pleaded.
Ken sighed again, pulled Wormmon out of the cabinet, then put him down on the floor. Wormmon watched guiltily as Ken went to unstick his mom from the sticky web that covered part of the kitchen area.
"Now, I hope Wormmon can get this stuff off of the walls and appliances so that I can make dinner tonight!" Mom said after she got unstuck. She made up a bucket of soapy water and got out two scrub brushes, which she handed to Ken. "Now Ken, please help your friend clean up the mess he made." Mom stated as she set the bucket of water near the stringy mess.
Ken sighed as he committed himself to having to clean up the sticky threads, and was about to give one of the scrub brushes to Wormmon when his mind suddenly flashed back to one of many incidents that occurred during his days as the "Digimon Emperor"...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I told you to scrub the floor, so why aren't you scrubbing?!? Get to work, worm!" Ken the Emperor said, tossing two scrub brushes, one at a time, at Wormmon's head.
After recovering from being conked on the head twice, Wormmon complained, "But master, how do know when to stop?"
"You can stop when the hallway is so clean that you can see your pathetic reflection in it!" Emperor Ken yelled out.
"But I can't even see the claws in front of my face, it's so dark!"
Emperor Ken sighed in exasperation, then snapped his fingers, brightening the dimly lit hallway. "Now get to work, slave!" he ordered, cracking the whip he carried around for emphasis. Sulking, he went off as Wormmon started scrubbing the floor...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ken stared down at his hands, frozen in mid-air when the bad memory flashed through his mind. His face screwed into a grimace; he couldn't bring himself to get Wormmon to clean anything again, even if the Digimon made the mess himself.
Ken sighed as he realized the only alternative... He looked down at a guilty Wormmon with pained eyes and said to him, "Go on. You don't need to clean anything. I'll do everything." Wormmon looked at Ken with a confused gesture, then, suddenly pleased at being released from a kind of job he had been forced to perform many times, slowly crawled away.
As Ken got down on his knees, dipped a brush in the soapy water and began to scrub away the spider-web like mess of strings from the oven front, he realized that this could have been what he would have done for the rest of his life, if he hadn't been killed by vengeful Digimon first. "MaloMyotismon was right on one thing at least." Ken thought as he scrubbed, referencing the illusion the Digimon had given him during the New Year's Battle. "I deserved to be tied to a large pole, and a spectacle made out of my execution."
Ken occasionally came up with horrific possibilities for what would have happened had grace never been shown him: being captured by the Digidestined after he fell as the Emperor, being carried around by the victorious Digidestined in chains as a war trophy while Digimon jeered at him, forcing him to work as a menial servant while getting kicked around and beaten by the Digidestined, and finally... a revenge execution, just like MaloMyotismon had shown him. Ken knew that in any of those cases, cold hard justice would have been done, but he would very likely be dead or having fallen so far so as make recovery impossible. Yet, none of those things had happened... but why? What had intervened on his behalf to show grace and allow him to recover as far as he had, up until today?
Ken couldn't think about it now, because when he started thinking he stopped scrubbing, and he had a lot of scrubbing to do. So, putting the questions in the back of his mind for now, Ken set hid focus on the job at hand...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Time: 3:30 pm
Place: Ken's room
It had been a long and tough job, but after much scrubbing he had finally gotten all the strings off the kitchen appliances. His arms hurt, so Ken just let them hang down outside the chair he was slumped into.
He was thinking again about what had happened that New Year's Eve. He knew he was a victim, controlled by a spore than he didn't even know was affecting him 2 weeks ago and made vulnerable to the evil Myotismon offered through Oikawa, and he knew Gatomon had been a victim too, those 4 years ago, but what about Oikawa?
To Ken, Oikawa was so desperate to see the Digital World that he didn't realize until too late that he had made a deal with one of the most self-seeking Digimon to have ever existed on either world. As a result, Ken and Oikawa himself, as well as the children that were infected by the spores, now joined Gatomon and many other victims on the "trail of tears" Myotismon had left, in all his forms, before finally being defeated forever. Ken figured that, like Gatomon, he would be scarred for life. And Oikawa now only exists as a guardian spirit in the Digiworld, both a blessing and a curse.
Nevertheless, he had won the tough victory. It was at a horrible cost, but Ken could finally feel free enough to reenter the public sphere without fear that "the Emperor" would be back to haunt him. And he had the friends he so desperately needed now: Wormmon, Davis, Veemon, Kari, Gatomon... However, looking over at the picture of Sam on his desk, Ken knew things could never be completely right, not with Sam gone.
Now Ken saw why he had seemed to wish Sam away as a result of the car accident... it was the Spore working within him, causing his demented wish to come true. Ken took the picture off his desk and pressed it gently to his chest, almost as if he was hugging Sam. He said through a tear, "Sam... I'm sorry. I really am. I know you got all the attention, and it made me just want you to go away. But... I didn't know about the Spore, and what it could do. I really didn't. And... I know words won't bring you back to me and Mom and Dad, but saying 'I'm sorry' is all I can do now. I hope you understand, Sam..."
Ken put the picture back, then slumped in the chair again. It was no use wishing it would all just be a bad dream he could wake up from, but also knew that, somewhere out there, maybe not far away, there was some guardian angel or spirit, something that would ensure him that everything would be all right from now on...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ken's mind suddenly flipped to the current problems faced by him and the other Digidestined. Oikawa was no longer living in the real world, but Ken was sure that many possessions had been left behind, including the electronic means through which Myotismon had worked to get into the digital world, including possibly something which was keeping the other Harmonious Ones locked in the prisons that they had been put in...
After being contacted by Izzy about it, Ken had asked his dad to look into any way that Oikawa's possessions could be legally taken by him or Cody, but dad had replied that until Oikawa was declared "legally dead" all his possessions could not be touched by anyone. According to his dad, Oikawa had locked the door to his apartment (taking the key with him) and left what appeared to be a suicide note ("Today, I fulfill my dream and go to a place that is not of this world!") tacked to the front door. Because of reluctance to pick or break the lock to enter the apartment, it was now left untouched, but unless Ken's dad found some legal way for one of the Digidestined to get Oikawa's possessions it was likely that everything might get taken by the government, and any records of activity or programs affecting the Digital World would get destroyed, causing complications that would become big problems later on.
However, even the importance of that problem was drowned out by something that had puzzled him for a couple months and now was coming into high focus: could there have been more to his redemption story than everyone else believed? Sure, the standard theory of "Wormmon + Davis + Arukenimon's appearance" seemed satisfying looking on the surface, but deep down Ken wasn't exactly sure if the theory was quite right...
Ken knew that if Arukenimon had not appeared, he wouldn't have been redeemed, that it would have been Davis vs. the other four without changing until Davis's faith was worn down, thus making the "official" theory reliant on the fact that there had been another enemy to face and that it pulled Ken into the fold. But looking now, Ken saw that there had to be something else, that part of the whole story about his redemption had still not been discovered because it was in the background, that it had been helped and drowned out itself by Arukenimon appearing.
The question was, what exactly was it and what role did it play? It was obvious that Davis's faith was a visible manifestation of something invisible, something that worked in conjunction with what else had happened to change hearts and minds but itself staying in the background. Ken thought it was likely an "agent of grace", some angel or spirit that had been summoned to work on his behalf by an unseen, naturally-developing, sympathy and that had worked in the background to bring Ken's redemption; that Ken was reasonably sure of.
But now the question was: Who, or what, was the "trigger" that had brought the spirit down to do whatever work it did? He had already excluded the "old Digidestined" who did not have direct participation in the battle as highly unlikely, leaving only Davis, Yolei, Cody, T.K. and Kari. For a while, he had been looking fruitlessly at those five as a possible list of "secret sympathizers", but with no real luck. Davis was only the instrument, not the source (as his initial sympathy was based on the fact that Ken's parents still cared for him and the concept that Ken was Digidestined, which was only later augmented by actual heart feelings) and the others couldn't have been the trigger as they had all doubted.
However, now Ken began to wonder if he had been approaching the problem the wrong way and that a Digimon had been the trigger instead of another Digidestined. Looking down the list, he had to first exclude Wormmon (he was important, but could not have been the trigger for something that worked to eliminate doubt in others as he did not have much influence on the others at that time), then continuing, Ken reluctantly eliminated Veemon, Hawkmon and Armadillomon, as they did not seem to be capable of expressing the emotion necessary to have been the trigger. That only left Patamon and Gatomon; both names seemed to feel right, and Gatomon seemed to jump out at him. Looking, it would have made sense... but before believing it, he would need something more concrete to go on than just hunches.
Indeed, Ken may have thought he was making the entire thing up, hadn't it been for a couple of dreams that had occasionally played in his mind in the middle of some nights. They had first appeared during the short but critical period between his first reappearance and Arukenimon revealing herself, and then occasionally reappearing afterwards, leaving Ken perplexed the following morning. He now figured that those dreams were another effect of his theory and were more obvious than any other presumed effect, allowing Ken to puzzle this "hidden element" of his redemption out via the dreams. Now, more determined than ever to prove this "pet theory", he began recalling the dreams...
End of Part 1