The Invocations of Haruhi Suzumiya
Note: Blah blah I don't own Haruhi or any associated works nor do I own AD&D. In the future when I achieve world domination, however, these and all things will be under my command. MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Cough.
Prologue:
The dullness of the world is something I cheerfully take for granted. I have to admit that a day in which nothing happens counts as a success in my books. Even so, such a day doesn't come around very often. You might say it has about the rarity of a total solar eclipse, and it lasts about as long, too. You see, every afternoon I take it upon myself to imperil my very sense of well-being. Yes, I refer to the SOS Brigade's clubroom.
Why I inflict such a dreadful suffering upon myself is too long a story, but I can tell you this much: Nothing imperils a peaceful day quite like when, bursting into the clubroom with a sanity-threatening smile, that girl enters the clubroom. Haruhi Suzumiya.
This day, however, I appear to be spared a fate worse than death. Our esteemed leader isn't here. The rest of my fellow sufferers looked up as I entered the room. Mikuru Asahina, that beautiful girl, who has been bullied so often that she wears a maid costume at all times in the clubroom now, smiled at me and offered me some fresh tea. I accepted gratefully.
"The tea is one thing that I am definitely grateful to Haruhi for. How else would I be able to drink tea brewed by that angel in disguise?"
In the corner, Yuki Nagato reads yet another book, but one that I didn't recognize. Like all the books she seems to read, it's thick and imposing, but she normally reads science fiction, not what looks like fantasy.
I sighed. "Doesn't she experience enough of that already?!"
The last of the club members, Itsuki Koizumi, looks at me with a smile as well, but his smile is so fake-looking it immediately puts me on my guard. Not that I include him in the list of fellow sufferers.
"Where's Haruhi this time?" I asked nonchalantly. "Stop smiling before I start getting freaked out!"
"I believe that Suzumiya-san is still at your house," he said while keeping the same smile on his face.
"Defeated! Hold on..."
"Why would she go all the way over there? She knows I won't be there right after school."
"True, but I don't believe she went there for that. But perhaps she can explain it to us in further detail," he announced as the door burst open.
I couldn't suspect him of using any mysterious esper powers on me. When Haruhi is excited about something, she runs to the clubroom, bowling over anyone in her way. You can hear her coming a mile off.
When I looked at Haruhi's grin, I figured my day was about to get worse. When I saw what she was holding, I was sure of it.
"Where did you get THOSE from?" I practically demanded. Never a wise move around Haruhi.
"Your mom just gave them to me. She said you never used them anymore."
"I'll bet she told Mom that I needed them or something, the little liar."
"It's time to announce the next SOS Brigade activity! Koizumi, it was your idea, so why don't you explain it?" Haruhi said loudly.
"Gladly. I believe such games are quite popular in America. They call them pencil-and-paper role playing games."
Not only could I tell that I was the only one surprised by this announcement, but I could feel the peaceful moment slipping away. Not like some soft hourglass where the sand slowly pours through, it reminded me a little of a giant ape falling off an incredibly tall building. I could only anticipate the painful landing.
PS: Comments are appreciated, whether suggestions to help me imitate Kyon's narration style more adequately or as to the identities of the main characters when they play AD&D. But I've decided on these things: Koizumi as DM, Nagato as a Wizard, and Asahina as a Cleric. I may also bring in side-characters if you like. Also note I'll be using 3rd Edition, not out of any deserved prejudices against 4th Ed, but because I don't want to shell out the money for the manuals.