Spoilers up to and including Crossroads, Part II. Don't come in to play unless you want to know the secrets of the BSG universe.
I'd like to say a very special thank you to Mariel, who took time away from her family and the Easter Bunny to beta my first BSG fic. Mariel, your talent as a writer and as a beta is most humbly appreciated. Thank you for encouraging me to write this. You're right—it does feel good.
Meanwhile, do I have to say I don't own these characters? Because truly, if I were Ron Moore, I certainly wouldn't have done songfic for the season finale. Although I am somewhat forgiving since he used one of my all-time favorite songs, and it was an incredible cover.
BTW, no offense to the songfic writers. It's just not my cup of citrus-flavored green tea.
When Push Comes to…
He had wanted to shove Baltar out of an airlock. Make him one of the disappeared. But she'd pushed him for a trial, and he'd relented in the name of humanity. He'd known then he would regret it; he just thought he'd regret it much later.
And he thought they'd regret it together.
She lifted her hand to his shoulder, pulling him close as if to share a secret. Instead, she spit venom at him. He'd known this moment was coming the very second his stomach had lurched in the deliberation room, the very second he'd realized he was going to vote not guilty. His first thought had been of her and the death warrant with her name on it. Not innocent, but not guilty. Voting his conscience had been the hardest thing he'd ever done.
And so now they stood in CIC, as elevated and isolated as they've ever been. It wasn't the place he'd envisioned his confession, but, then again, he hadn't really had to tell her what he'd done. She'd known him well enough to guess.
He'd prepared himself for this confrontation from the moment he'd cast his ballot. He thought himself ready to absorb her anger. He stood firm and steadfastly rational as she railed against the injustice of the situation. He was ready for her, ready for her hand on his shoulder, ready for the hurt and the fury in her eyes as she told him Gaius Baltar was a traitor. He had run scenarios of her possible reactions, and he was confident he'd be able to handle her offense. He was wrong.
He nearly came undone when she shoved him away.
To the casual observer, her action may not have seemed too dramatic. He, however, realized a line had been crossed. Or, to be more exact, a line had been drawn. He wasn't sure of the specifics, but he was very certain the line was between them, between Admiral and President, and between Bill and Laura. He saw the line widen when he told her they had to look to the future they both knew she didn't have.
They had come so far on their journey together. They had endured each other's true betrayals—his military coup, her mutinous coercion of his son and almost-daughter. They had survived Kobol and cancer and kidnapping. These trials had strengthened them, but it seemed the trial of Gaius Baltar was destined to be their breaking point.
He stifled a shiver as he ordered Gaeta to jump to the nebula that would take the Fleet closer to Earth, closer to the place the prophecies said she'd never see. As he turned to her, he saw her crossed arms. Dropping his arms, he matched her stare, silently asking her to follow him, begging her to join him in his forgiveness and his love.
End