AN/ OH MA GAWWWD DIS IS A HAYNIS STORY! % {k%} lyke it's a fly off da seat of yow pants kida stowee but I tink dat people will like it fow ma gewwd huma!
Lizzie was feeling ill. Veeeeerrry ill. She was trapped in dis crazy sitch dat she couldn't get outta. She couldn't tell NE1. Dey would all mock her and spit on her favourite purple and brown zebra striped bandana. And besides if she told dat means she wouldn't be allowed to go to da SPRINGAPALOOOZA dance at de school. She must show off her supa fly dance moves lyke de running rabbit and dee hip thrust. Dat would make Ethy want to marry her! DIS IS HER SHINING MOMENT DIS COULD CHANGE HER LIFE!
But alas she was in a grave predicament ! she didn't know dat drinking a whole 40 ouncer of whiskey would cause so much trouble.
IT ALL STARTED ONE SPOOOOKY EVENING WHEN LIZZE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE COOL TO GO TO A HIGHSCHOOL PARTY. It was an eerie thought to any flat-chested 8th grader but lizzie was gonna stomp da sigma! She dressed in her flyest outfit a fuzzy pink tanktop with orange bows attached to da shoulders and winded down her bony undeveloped arms. She was also wearing her shortest skirt da one that went to her mid-calf. The skirt depicted the first thanksgiving scene on it so she tought it would go nice wit her American flag bandana.
Lizze arrived at de jam oly to find a group of semi- high losers dancing to hits from 1994. She was in heaven.
DEN ALL OF A SUDDEN LARRY JUMPED OUTTA NO WHERE AND SAID "HEY LISSY! "
AND SHE WAS LYKE "LAR LAR wat da buttercream are you doing at dis wicked party!!!??/!%%%"
And larwence was lye " To RAVISH YOU!"
DEN DEY DID IT ON TOP OF A PASSED OUT CLOWN NAMED LENORD MCGEE.
"OH MANNY I WISH I DIDN'T GO TO DA PARTY CAUSE NOW ETHY WILL NEVA MARRY A PREGGERS CHICK!" bellowed Lissy Pissy (cause shes hormonal)
TA DA DE END!