W/N:I cried in this oneshot, and this is terribly long. Oh well, hope you enjoy this in tears (slapped). Romance/Tragedy oneshot! Warning for Character Death.
Len's POV
It was a normal day for other people around the world, doing their own activities for all I care. I was one of the earthlings who was standing somewhere with nothing in my hands.
.
.
In the verge of tears.
I tried my best not to cry though, because it would look pathetic for someone like me to do so but I couldn't help it. My tears dropped to the petals of the sakuras that were on the ground like morning dews. Yes, it was Spring that time.
"...Rin, can I ask you a couple of questions?".
Rin? Who was that person called Rin? An anime character or something, you asked? No, she wasn't. She was more like a friend of mine. We had been together since we were very little and we shared almost all of our opinions together. Except for one thing I couldn't say to her on time.
I love her, I love Rin with all my heart.
But as they said, we wouldn't love someone if we didn't even know who was that person. So let me tell you about how we met each other for the first time.
~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~
As a child I really was that time, I often went outside and played in the gardens. Especially in the Spring when the flowers were blooming and the cherry blossom were falling to the ground. I started playing there when I was two, though. My sister, Lenka brought me there to play with her.
It was so fun back then. I was four and too bad Lenka was already busy with her primary school and all, so I was alone. I lied down while watching the cherry blossoms fluttering to the ground in boredom when I heard "They're beautiful". I woke up to see the person who said that.
That person was a girl. We were not too far away though. She look similar to me, except that she was a girl because of that girly white bow of hers. She was smiling as she enjoyed the scenery of the flowers blooming before her. "Hello" I greeted silently and she noticed me.
"Hi..." the girl greeted back at me and waved her hand, her voice was very soft as if she was muttering her words. Then she looked back at the flowers as she faced away from me. There were many children playing here in Spring Break mainly but that was the first time I saw this girl.
So I tried to know her more. "I'm Len. What's your name?" I asked as I managed to get closer to her and lended out my hand for her. It took her a while to stare at my hand like it was a monster or something, before she shook it back with hers. "...Rin, Kagamine Rin" she silently answered.
Okay, so she had the same last name as I was. "I haven't seen you before. Where do you live?" I asked again. Hey, don't judge me because of my curiosity. Rin pointed her finger at the left. And there it was, a little house just a few meters from here. Wow, that was near. I thought that the house already existed before I came here in the first place.
And yet, why didn't she come out and play like other children did? The question left me in wonder until I was startled with a butterfly on my nose. "It likes you" Rin giggled softly and I shivered in fear, insects were horrible little creatures to me.
"Stay away from me, stay away from me, stay away from me" I said that a few times and Rin laughed before she flicked my nose gently to shoo it away. It succeeded though, I almost cried if the butterfly did something to me.
Rin then patted my back to calm me down. "Relax, Len. It won't do anything to you" she whispered and I let out a sigh of relief.
"Thanks, Rin. Glad that you're here to get rid of that... insect" I said the last word in disgust.
She only chuckled in reply. "You're welcome. You are fun to talk to, anyways" she commented.
Usually, as soon as I got to know a person, I would like to be friends with him or her. And so as Rin. That's why I faced her while requesting "Let's be friends". She looked paler unlike other people when I looked at her face though.
Rin answered "...Okay" a few minutes later.
~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~
"That time, when I became friends with you. I just realized that I hadn't ask one simple but important question to you" I said, taking a seat down beside her.
"How are you?" the first question in my mind was asked, but Rin didn't reply anything to me. Off to the next question.
~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~
"Class, today I would like to know your ambitions when you grow up. Kagamine Len, can you please tell me what do you want to be in the future?" the teacher asked me when I was seven so I raised from my seat.
I had always wanted to be someone famous, a star that would light up like the stars in the night sky. So, my answer would be "I want to become an actor when I grow up" I said that with pride. The boys were making strange faces at me and so was Rin.
"Oh, okay. Utatane Piko, what do you want to be when you grow up?" and so on with other students. The teacher was about to ask the last person who was Rin herself when the bell rang.
Recess was coming and the pupils didn't care about their manners anymore as they were pushing their way to the canteen. Rin and I decided to have lunch in the classroom and we were having a little chat. Still, she gave me a a weird look like I had grown two heads or something.
"...Seriously Len? You want to be an actor in the future?" Rin asked, rejecting my dreams. Wow, she's being harsh. I made up a crying face to her but she didn't seem to be guilty about it.
I then pouted before I took out my lunchbox Mom prepared for me. "Is it that wrong for me to have my dreams come true?" I asked, taking out the lid of the lunchbox and chopsticks before I picked up an egg roll.
"No, it's not" she answered immediately, taking the egg roll from my chopsticks and ate it like it was the most honored thing she should do. She then peeled an orange and took a bite of it. "I was just thinking that being an actor isn't suitable enough for someone like you", my heart broke into pieces when those words were said.
However, I continued eating my lunch to cheer myself up. "You're so mean, Rin" I muttered, eating the onigiri hungrily. Rin only shrugged of my complaint.
"Um, I think you should be a..." she said and hummed a few seconds later before she got an idea. "A pianist" she ended. I was like 'Really, Rin? I don't even know how to play that instrument'.
And Rin understood my signal. "I know, that's why we're taking music classes. I just have a feeling that you can master it sooner because... I don't know, you have the feels when you play it?" she suggested.
I sighed, eating an egg roll. "Who cares about the so-called feels, Rin? Well, I don't" I declined her opinion after I swallowed the food.
Then a thought hit my head, like a hammer was knocked to my brain cells. "Now that I remembered about it, what's your ambition?" I questioned. She looked at me before she ate her orange.
"Maybe I want to be a singer" Rin replied, and I tried to hold my laugh. Seriously, Rin singing? She barely voiced when she was talking to people. She noticed me trying to hold my grudges and she nudged my shoulder playfully.
"It's rude to laugh at people's opinions, you know?" she huffed in annoyance. "I'd like to sing if I have more time, just like what mom and dad always did..." Rin muttered softly.
Oh yeah, I knew that her mom died after she gave birth to Rin due to some kind of illness. They sang and played the piano together when they were younger. I pitied Rin, though. She lost her mother when she was still a baby. Not to mention that her father was trying his best to work hard for his daughter, Rin probably lived a hard life.
"Wait a minute, 'sing if I have more time'? What do you mean by that?" I asked, getting suspicious of Rin's words. She only smiled and changed the topic by saying "It's nothing. The reason I want to be a singer is that, the harmony of your music and my voice. I want to reach it together with you" she mumbled.
I held her empty hand with mine of all the sudden. Rin looked at me with surprise but I only smiled at her in reply. Our moment was destroyed with the bell ringing loudly. For once, maybe being a pianist wasn't so bad to be paired up with a singer.
~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~
"You're right, Rin. Being a pianist is much better than being an actor" I agreed her choice and smiled. "I've always think of this question in my head. What is the first song we will sing and play together? Can you please answer me sooner?" I asked, glancing at her.
A few minutes later, I sighed. "Never mind, I have another question for you. Hear it carefully, okay?" I said, and the past replayed again.
~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~
It was another day in school, I was alone yet again because Rin was absent for the day. I sighed in disappointment and boredom for the hundredth time, I didn't expect being lonely like this would be that melancholic. I was hoping that school ended sooner, like most of pupils thought when it's about school.
Much to my delight, school did end earlier because of certain program things. So I went out from school quickly to visit Rin. She was probably sick again, just looking at her pale ghostly face was enough to tell that she was ill.
Nervously, I knocked the door of her house. It looked so small, I wondered if Rin was from a poor family. Then a man opened the door for me. It must be her father, his eyes had dark circles like a raccoon's, or even a panda's. His face was pale as a ghost, too.
"Oh, Len isn't it? My daughter is in her room, probably sleeping because of the fatigue. Come in" he gestured me inside and I entered the house. It looked so... cozy, I should've learnt that a book couldn't be judged from its cover. From my knowledge, I knew that Rin's bedroom was upstairs so I walked to the staircase up to her room.
Again, I knocked the door after I reached to Rin's room. Only to be replied with a very soft "Come in..." as I opened the door and closed it a while later behind me. There was Rin, on the bed in a such warm atmosphere. She didn't seem to have a fever, though but she still looked pale and frail.
"Hey, Rin. How's your day?" I teased as I already knew the answer. While I was walking towards her bed and placed my hand on her forehead, Rin narrowed her eyes at me. "Very great, I suppose. I am here for seven hours straight, I feel like my cerebrum is overworking" she replied sarcastically.
Her forehead was not that hot, it meant that she was not in a fever. "Stop saying that cerebrum nonsense. We're both still ten" I denied her wide knowledge of Science. Her eyes looked tired as well, didn't she sleep before I came here?
"...I can't sleep" Rin mumbled of all the sudden, answering the question in my mind. We sighed in boredom, not knowing what to do anymore with life. "So, why didn't you come to school? You don't seem to have a fever, Rin " I asked, sitting down beside her.
Rin gave me a look as she shot up from the bed. "I'm just feeling a little bit tired, didn't my dad tell you before?" she asked, resting her head back to the pillow. Oh yeah, he really did. Speaking of him, Rin's dad suddenly opened the door to check on his daughter's condition.
"I thought you were sleeping, Rin. Do you have trouble sleeping again?" he asked and Rin nodded her head slowly. He sighed in disappointment. "Take care of yourself, okay? And you too, Len. I'm going to work" he added before he left us alone in the house.
Then it was silence as I didn't know what to say anymore to her. Thinking of her father, I asked "Your dad worries about you, huh?". Rin blinked at me, a few times before she said "Yeah, but I know he's doing this for our family".
"Uhuh" I nodded dumbly, telling her to go on. Rin pointed her finger at her right and I turned to that direction. It was a huge grand piano. "You see that paino?" she asked and I nodded again. It took a while before she spat out "My dad used his money together with my mom to buy it a few years ago".
I made an "Oh" as my mouth was wide open. "After my mom passed away, he always ended up in debts. This house, the food supplies and not to mention my health needs, I know he's trying his best to finish them all for our sake" she explained.
An "Oh" was let go again as I heard her story. "Your health needs? Do you have health problems, Rin?" I questioned, curiosity overwhelmed me. She gave me a sad face before she sighed.
"To be honest, yes. But don't you really worry about that, my health is not that bad" she waved her hand as a signal 'Don't mention it'. I shot her back with a sad face. "But, I'm your friend. I can help you with your medical treatment and such, I am always here for you".
Rin looked shocked and surprised when I said that. "No! You don't have to! I'm alright, really! I only need a little rest and I'll be fine!" she exclaimed, her arms flailing in the air.
"You're just like my dad, Len. Always saying that I should have medical care when I don't want, or even need to. You're being a busybody" she pouted and crossed her arms. "You're the one who's being stubborn all the time" I replied and groaned.
"I'm not at fault if you're getting ill, okay? It's your business for not caring about your own health. But just call me if something's wrong with you. My family runs a hospital, you know?" I said, trying to open her heart to treat her sickness.
But she didn't. "Said the son of a rich family" she mocked me. "Ugh, fine. Promise me that you wouldn't lie to yourself, especially your health. Of course I won't lie to you, as a friend" I gave up and made up a simple but heavy promise as I brought out a pinky finger to her.
"Promise" Rin said, entwining mine. And that's how our friendship seriously began.
~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~
I stayed silent. "Your father must have cried a lot when you're mentioned, Rin. He loves you, but not as much as I do love you" I joked about her dad who was probably working, again.
"Hey, Rin. I might be a busybody for butting in your family's business but, May I follow your father's footsteps? He's doing his best for you and I kinda idolize him. I want to do the same for you too" I asked again, but no response from Rin.
"There are more questions I want to ask you, notice me please? Okay" I said and once again, there was a flashback playing in my head.
~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~
We were both in our freshmen junior highschool years, turning 13 to be precise. Rin was still not listening to my advice, but she's lucky that her health was not chronic. It was the middle of the night, I was at the doorstep of Rin's house with pebbles in my hands. I walked to the window of her room and threw some small rocks to wake her up.
I knew, guys. I was being cruel to her but I had a feeling that she couldn't sleep, again. And I was right as Rin opened the window a few seconds later. She looked at me with sleepy eyes, saying "What do you want, Len?". I made a signal 'Come on, I have a place to show you!' and she understood me.
Then she walked away from me before she came back with more fancy clothing, and she used the window to get out of her house. "R-Rin?! What are you-" I didn't finish my whispers as she already jumped off the window and landed to the ground nicely, as if she didn't even use that kind of brutal method.
"I'm a tomboy, don't judge me. Where do you want to bring me to?" Rin asked and I yanked her arm to me. "Well, it's a secret. I'm sure you'll love it" I said and brought her to a place where we could enjoy our time, alone.
No, not that romantic place guys. I brought her to Meguro River, it took us a few steps to reach there, though. Why were we here? It was Spring, and the cherry blossoms bloomed here. The shops were already closed but the lights were still on, the river was clear and the moonlight was shining brightly. It was also one of the best hanami spots in Japan.
"Wow, aren't those sakuras beautiful?" Rin asked as she looked around us. I nodded in agreement as we were staring at the cherry blossoms fluttering to the ground. It was the first day of Spring, who wouldn't enjoy this kind of scenery?
But then she faced me. "Is this what you want to show me?" she asked, probably bored already a few minutes later. I shrugged, not knowing what to do anymore so I made a decision to take a rest under the cherry blossom tree, facing the moon.
Actually, I loved her since last year's Christmas but I didn't have the courage to confess to her. I tried to come up with many kinds of ways but she still didn't get it. This place was one of my plans, I hoped it would be successful. "Um, Rin. Can I say something to you?" I asked as she was looking at the sakuras again.
Rin seemed very sleepy as she let her rest against the stem of the tree before she nodded slowly. "I-It's just that... I... urm... you, you know... that..." I stuttered and I mentally facepalmed. "You're going through puberty?" she muttered softly and I blushed.
I shook of my head from those teenage hormonal problems and I was about to redo my confession again. When Rin was leaning to my shoulder, sleeping in peace. My face was practically red as blood rose to my cheeks. Then I sighed before I placed my arm to her back and let her lean towards me.
"Glad that I was able to make you sleep, Rin" I mumbled. I really had the urge to kiss her forehead or something but I let her sleep on my lap for a while. Then I carried her back home. Her father was right at the backyard, he really was expecting us to return.
Instead of getting mad at me, he smiled. "Thanks for taking care of her. Rin barely sleeps recently because of certain things. Since it's already 2.00 a.m., why don't you have a stay here before the Sun rises?" he invited me to have a stay as he carried Rin from my arms to his.
Yes, people I carried her bridal style. She might be a little bit heavy but I managed to carry her in the end. Her father opened the door for me and I entered it after him before I closed the door behind me.
My plan to confess to Rin failed again, but at least I was happy that she was still by my side, healthy and lovely.
~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~
"You look so sweet when you sleep that time, Rin" I chuckled. "I know you love me too, and there's one question I want to ask you about it. When do you fall in love with me?" I asked, but there's no reply.
I let out a sigh. "More questions coming up" I declared.
~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~
"Congrats, Len. Your height increases by five centimeters" Yuuma, one of my buddies said as we measured our height in the physical exams. Piko helped me look at my weight and said "You're 64 kilograms". It was normal since I got taller in high school. My muscles were also grown lately, thanks to me being manly.
I was satisfied with the results and I was about to get out of the medical room, when I was hugged by a certain girl and we both fell to the ground. "Len! I'm getting heavier! Is my diet wrong!?" Rin whined and I blushed as her boobs were pressed to my well toned chest.
She was getting prettier, too and both of us were single. Sixteen and single, to be exact. I didn't have enough bravery to confess my love for her, again. Luckily no one dared to approach us so it's fine for the moment. "C-Can we talk about it normally? I afraid someone might get the wrong idea" I asked, curse Yuuma and Piko for peeking us.
Then she stood up and helped me to raise from the floor. "So, you think you have an unbalanced diet as your weight is rising" I said and she nodded. "What are you eating in your daily life, Rin?" I asked, ready to take some mental notes.
"Uh, oranges, orange juice, more oranges, orange juice and much more oranges" she stated and I gave her a look. No wonder why her face looked so pale, but how could someone got heavier in such a simple diet?
"Oh, I almost forgot. Maybe I ate too much orange chiffon cake last week, that's why I'm getting heavier by 0.5 kilograms" Rin sticked out her tongue childishly as she scratched her back playfully. She looked cute when she did that so I blushed unconsciously.
"Girls and their weights are such pure enemies" I thought.
~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~
"Didn't I always tell you before? Eat well next time, you hear me?" I asked, but she didn't answer a thing.
I shrugged. "Whatever, let's move on to the next question" I announced.
~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~
We were both eighteen and it was our last year of high school, which was a good thing because we hated school. It sucked, especially in the morning assemblies. I was walking with Rin to the main hall, complaining "Morning assemblies are such a pain in the pain in the ass" and she replied with a soft "Yeah...".
"That principal's speech makes us want to go back to sleep" I whined again and she also a replied the same word.
"They are being cruel to us, forcing the students to stand up while the teachers are sitting. They didn't have mercy at all" I exclaimed. Rin, once again responded a soft "Yeah...".
I shot a look at her, saying "Why are you such in a gloomy mood? And that face again, are you sick?" I asked and she shook her head. I brushed off the negative thoughts about her health and continued walking to the main hall.
All I heard in the morning assembly was a "Bla bla bla" from the principal as I didn't pay attention to him. The person beside me who was Rin all the time, her legs were getting jelly all of the sudden. Her body was shivering and her lips were quivering, I looked at her suspiciously. I could hear her hissing in pain as she clenched her chest, did she perhaps...?
Rin glanced at me before she whispered "Len, I...". Then I caught her in my arms as she fainted out of the blue. The students and teachers around us gasped in horror of the incident but I ignored them. Instead of getting panicked, I calmly unbutton some of the buttons of her shirt and unhook her bra for air before I carried her to the nearest infirmary.
She was out for a few hours before she woke up in recess, I was eating a banana while waiting for her. "Here, an orange for you" I placed the fruit on her bed and she made a noise as she stretched her arms.
"Where am I?" she asked, looking around the room. "Infirmary, you passed out in the assembly just now" I explained and she gave me an "Oh".
"Really, Rin. After all these years of you having some kind of health problem, all you say was an 'Oh'? Do you even have breakfast before you go to school?" I asked, eyeing her suspiciously and she nodded.
"Len, I'm actually fine-"
"Woah, woah, woah. Stop there, you being fine? You just fainted all of the sudden! How was that fine to you?!" I exclaimed, getting pretty mad because she was unaware of her own health.
"Len, I'm actually okay. Don't you worry so much-"
"Of course I should worry about you! I'm your... friend" I said the last word quietly. I didn't confess to her and I began to hate our current relationship. She was more than a friend to me. She's my everything, and I would do anything for her. I only wanted her to realize my feelings towards her.
It was silence before I spat out "Rin, don't you trust me anymore?". Her eyes were wide like saucers when she heard that. "Why'd you think of something like that? Of course I believe-"
"Then why do you lie to me?" I cut her words, my sharp blue eyes meeting her brighter ones.
"Lie? I don't lie to you, I just-"
"The promise, Rin. You ruined it! I am always here, trying to take care of you as much as I can but all you do was betraying me? How could you do this for me?!" I mentioned the promise. I knew that promises were made to be broken but this was getting too far.
"But Len, I-"
"What kind of friend are you? Don't you realize that your death is getting near?!" I let out my anger and closed my mouth after I said that. Her face looked hurt and she looked away from me.
I stayed silent and I hid my bangs from looking at her face. "Our friendship is over, Rin. Goodbye" I announced before I left the infirmary. I heard Rin shouting my name out loud but I ignored it. My tears appeared but I didn't care about it any longer.
We were not friends anymore, and we were not even lovers. From that day onwards, we were nothing but strangers among each other.
~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~
"Rin, forgive me please" I begged, tears threatening to fall down to the soil. She didn't reply anything, which made me cried more. "If our friendship is over," I held back a sniff, "Is falling in love with each other still possible?".
I wiped away my tears before another moment of the past was replayed again.
~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~
I was very happy. Why? My dream to be an actor came true as soon as I graduated school. I didn't find Rin that time, though. I wondered if her health was okay.
Sure, our friendship ended a long time ago but my feelings for her would never change. I loved her, it felt like my whole body was stabbed with thorns every time I thought about her health. She had ischemic heart disease, the most common health problem that would lead to death.
I sighed, my face was applied with some makeup from the designer to begin the shooting. When the manager suddenly barged in through the door, exclaiming "We need more flowers for the next shoot!". I gave him a look, raising my eyebrows.
"Masuto, you should've knocked the door before entering this room politely. Now what do you want again?" I asked, turning to him after my makeup session was finished.
"Call me Master, Len Kagamine! It's for the first shoot when you and Kaito-"
"Wait, Kaito? Wasn't it supposed to be Kaiko who should I get 'married' to?" I asked, the first shoot of the drama I was acting was a wedding shoot. But, Kaito? Wasn't he a man?
"Ah, her name is Kaiko. Sorry, but it's not a final shoot yet so it's okay if we have a little bit of practice. Anyways, don't you want to lose your first kiss to a girl, what's her name again, Rin?" he asked and I shot him a dark glare.
"Do. Not. Mention. Her. Name" I stated and he sighed. I couldn't take it if someone, especially males mentioned Rin's name in fromt of me for no real reason.
Master then returned to the original topic. "We don't have enough flowers for the bride and I would like you to accompany me to a flower shop. You can choose anything that matches your style. It's your 'wedding', anyway" he said. I shrugged, I had nothing to do so I cleaned up my face before I accepted his invitation.
"Welcome" the florist at the counter said, bowing politely when Master and I were in the flower shop. "Can I have... sapphire flower bouquet, for the wedding decorations?" I asked.
...Wait a second, I had seen this person before. The florist's hair was smooth and silky blonde that went past her waist, her crystal blue eyes and that white bow and hair clips of hers, was that...? "Rin?" I said to make sure I was right and she faced me.
"Eh, Len?" she was startled after our eyes met. Oh wow, she looked so beautiful. Her 20 year-old self must had a lot of attention from boys around her. She also looked feminine and her style was natural; no lipstick or any makeup applied which was a pretty good charm.
"Oh, nice to meet you again" her friendly mood somehow turned a bit sour as she shook her hand with mine. "Didn't you want to be a singer?" I asked.
"...I'll pass, my voice wasn't that powerful enough to sing anymore. What about you?" she questioned back to me. "I'm being an actor since last year" I answered, and I didn't think I should be proud of it anymore. Her hopes were crushed and she was going to die. Her face was still pale and she looked sick.
"Sorry about that incident from a few years ago, I should've believed you next time" Rin apologized and I shook my head. We were staring at each others' eyes before Masuto interfered us by clearing his throat.
He pointed to our hands which were interlocked and we immediately pulled away in embarrassment. "U-Urm, sapphire flower bouquet. Certainly" Rin said as she searched for it in the flower shop.
"Here you go, how is it?" she asked as she placed a variety of flower bouquets on the counter. I picked up a random flower bouquet, telling "This is good enough". She smiled at me.
"It would be 150 yen" she declared and Masuto was about to bring out his wallet. But he grabbed Rin's hands all of the sudden. "Please, come to Len's 'wedding'!" he exclaimed and she looked startled when the wedding was mentioned.
"Wedding?" she muttered and he nodded cheerfully. "Urm, why and when?" she asked. "We also have an empty spot in our sponsored chapel and I would like to invite you too. Isn't it great that you get to see Len shooting in a romance drama? It would be on this Saturday. Is that okay with you?" he questioned. Rin eyed at me before she slowly nodded.
"Thanks a bunch, here's 1000 yen. Keep the change, invite your husband or your relatives too okay? Bye now!" he said as he placed the money before he dragged me out of the flower shop with the bouquet.
Rin, was she still mad at me?
~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~
I sighed, asking "Will you forgive me after what had I done to you? You better be honest this time, Rin". The eighth question would be asked after this flashback was told to you.
~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~
It was a Saturday, the day when I was getting 'married' to Kaiko. She did look cute and all but I wanted Rin. I wished she would be my bride instead of a random actress, though. Anyway, the preparations for the drama were already finished and we invited the residents of a small city to come and watch the scene.
I was waiting for Rin outside and I witnessed her a few moments later. As expected, she had her own sense of clothing; her dress was white and had blue floral (just like her wonderful blue eyes) patterns it reached to her knees, simple white sandals and her hair was cut short. She made a low ponytail with her white bow and as usual, she had those white bobby hair clips attached to her bangs. She was alone so she must be single and not yet married. Not even relatives.
I swore to myself that Rin looked more gorgeous compared to Kaiko in a wedding dress. "H-Hi, Rin" I said as I awkwardly waved my hand at her and she noticed me. "Hi Len" she replied back in a soft voice as she was in front of me.
No makeup detected and her face was pale, typical Rin. "So, this is for the shoot, not the real wedding. You look pretty stunning in a tuxedo, Len" she complimented me. I was wearing a black tuxedo and black dress shoes, the only decoration for me was a blue rose attached to my chest pocket.
She smiled and adjusted the rose for me. "You must be happy, aren't you? Your dreams come true at last. I didn't expect you to be one, though" both of us chuckled as she reminded us of our childhood dreams. ...Happy? I was happy, but it felt like something was missing.
"I wish you every single happiness, even in your real wedding. Hopefully that special person means a lot to you" she said, her eyes reflecting sincerity. Yes, I really hoped Rin would be my wife. "That special person would be you, of course" I muttered. "What was that?" she asked and I exclaimed "Oh, nothing!" in denial. Rin only shrugged of my reaction.
She was looking what was inside the chapel before she asked "Where's the seat for the guests?". I showed her the way but she didn't move a single inch. "What's wrong?" I questioned, getting worried of Rin. She hid her bangs and she clenched her chest.
"My chest hurts..." she mumbled and I helped her to sit at the nearest seat I could find. "Now how do you feel? Are you dizzy? Is your stomach or feet aching?" I asked and she shook her head.
"Maybe I need a little rest" she said in a soft voice, it was like a whisper. Then my name was called and I had to go for the shoot. I hoped Rin would be fine, her health was getting worse.
~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~
"Rin, you idiot" I said as tears escaped from my eyes again. "You always make a fuss about other people, and not yourself. Even if you know your death is near that time, you only smiled at me and wished for my happiness as if you are fine with everything" I continued, wiping my tears away but they came back.
"My happiness is gone after you left me, it felt... nothing. Right now, I am feeling sorrowful and pathetic. And here I'm going to ask you; Do you get your happiness, as much as I did? I was wondering if you didn't even care about your feelings as an idiot you are" I chuckled.
The other two questions would be asked sooner.
~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~
"Len Kagamine! Hurry up! You're going to be late for the shooting!" Master exclaimed as I arrived late. "At least I'm here now. Where's the script?" I asked and a few minutes later, somehow I was already on the aisle with Kaiko and the preacher.
When the preacher was reading about some Christianist marriage vows or something, I took a chance to glance at Rin. But she stared at the floor, which was terrible because I afraid that her pain in the chest was getting worse.
"Do you Shibasaki Ren, take Kanada Aoi as your lawfully wedded wife?" the preacher asked and I woke up from my daydream. I didn't answer as if my tongue was tied up so I bit my lip nervously.
I let out a breath and was about to say something I remembered in the script, when a high-pitched scream was heard. "Cut!" Masuto shouted and the audience began to chatter in panic. I was looking for Rin at the seat I gave to her but she was gone.
"Oh God, don't tell me that... please not that" I muttered as I was searching for her from afar when someone screamed "There's someone fainting! Help!". I widened my eyes when I heard 'fainting' and I immediately went out of the scene, though Masuto was blabbering about me for that.
"Rin, where are you?" I chanted, looking for every nook and cranmy and I saw a crowd outside. "Please give me way!" I exclaimed and they obeyed, showing a motionless Rin who was lying on the ground. "Rin, Rin! Call the ambulance, now!" I shouted as I couldn't feel her breath anymore.
Her heart was beating, which meant that she still had time and unconsciously, my tears dropped to her face. "Wake up for me, please" I pleaded, crying to her as I hugged her body closer to me. I loved her, I loved her so much I couldn't even imagine what my life would look like if she's gone.
I held her hand with mine, asking "Can you feel my warmth embracing you? Can you hear my voice pleading for you to say my name again? And, can you look at my painful soul?". But she didn't reply.
The ambulance came a few minutes later and brought Rin away from me. "I expect good news from you, okay?" I mumbled and someone patted my back for me. "Len, it's okay. She'll be alright" I heard Kaiko said. I faced my back to see the other staff workers giving mesuchsad smiles.
"The shoot will be cancelled for today. We're trying our best to be considerate for you" Masuto announced and everyone dismissed, leaving me alone in the chapel, crying my heart out loud. "Please, give Rin more hope to live" I prayed to God before I left to the hospital.
~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~
The visiting hours were until 6 p.m. and I had only about 15 minutes left to visit Rin. I asked the nurse (It was my cousin's friend, Uni) on the counter for Rin's room number and she told me the number. It was Room 423, fourth floor, second row and the third one. How did I know, you asked? Hey, I thought I know where my parents worked at.
"Finally" I said as I reached to the respective room and I opened the door slowly. Rin was on the bed, breathing slowly as the monitor beeped, representing her heartbeat. She didn't wake up yet, the tubes were connecting her veins with the oxygen mask on her mouth and such. I had no other choice but to wait for her.
A few minutes later, Rin didn't show any signs of waking up and I heard Shiyu (she returned from taking medical lessons in Korea. Apparently, she used her Korean name Kim Shiyu instead of using her real Japanese name), my cousin telling me that the visiting hours were over. I gave her a look and she replied with a sigh.
"I know it hurts, Len. But we're trying our real best to treat your friend as much as we can, okay?" Shiyu comforted me but I glanced at Rin instead. "Please give me a moment?" I begged and she nodded.
I walked to Rin's bed again, holding her hand. "Hang in there, okay?" I asked, omce again there was no reply. Then I left without a single word. My phone rang my favourite song and I answered the call.
"What is it, Masuto?" I asked in boredom after I left the hospital on my way home. "How's Rin? Is she okay?" he asked in the other line and I gave him a sigh. I was tired of sighing anyway, and he understood my language.
"Oh, she doesn't wake up. But can you come to our studio? We have a little discussion to do with the drama" Masuto asked. I stayed silent, that drama was the cause Rin was being like this. Her health was already on a dangerous level and she would pass away any time from now.
"...Masuto, I quit" I declared and turned off the phone before he could start talking anymore. I smiled and looked at the Sun that was setting down the horizon. "If I'm going to be the only one being the star, wouldn't it be lonely? I didn't shine bright like the Sun in front of me. I need more people to shine together with me, but in the end, I just have learnt that I need love, the light that would brighten up the dark night" I made up a spontaneous quote, which was pretty cheesy but I didn't care about it.
~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~
A few days later of me trying to know how to play the piano (Rin told me that I was being best if I was a pianist), somehow I received the good news that I passed to be one. I was invited to play the piano that night but I decided to visit Rin for a while.
Using my own car, I arived at the hospital and asked Uni again for Rin's condition. She gave me a sad smile, declaring that "I afraid not, Len. You see, she passed away a few hours after you left from the hospital. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience".
My eyes blinked, and they blinked again. "W-What?" I asked and SeeU (Shiyu's nickname) patted my head. "She's gone, Len. We apologize for not taking care of her properly" she said, trying to comfort her but it was useless because I was crying.
Rin died, she died before I could even confess for her. She was still pure, innocent and unharmed. Why I was being such a coward? I'd never thought that she left me this sooner. There were only three words to say but, I'd never get the chance to say "I love you" to her anymore.
"...en, Len. Calm down, even if you cried blood, Rin wouldn't come back to us" Uni said and I cried more. They tried to cheer me up by giving me bananas and such. But I couldn't stop thinking about the love of my life who was already dead.
Both SeeU and Uni sighed. "I think there is something you should know" SeeU said and took off her cat headphones before she placed it to my head. "Before Rin was gone, she left an important message to you. Might as well to have a listen to her will that she delivered for you" Uni began and SeeU clicked a button for me.
Her will? She still remembered me before she died? My thoughts were woken up with a faint "Len..." in the recorder. I, of course would listen to her voice though it was pretty hoarse.
"Where's he?" she asked and I heard her holding a sob. "I failed to meet him on time..." she muttered and I heard crying from her. Was she crying, for me? The sound of the monitor was heard but I didn't care about it. I wanted to hear her voice.
"Len, please tell him that I wish him happiness. Sorry for being his friend, I don't want Len to cry because of me. I... can't stay here any longer" she muttered, and my tears flowed again. I didn't expect her to think of me like that.
"Len, I'm sorry for not being able to be with you anymore. Before I go, there is something I would like you to know from me" she said and the monitor beeped louder. Her death was near, her death was approaching her.
"I... love... you... Len, thank you for... everything" she ended her last words, and the monitor beeped in a straight line. I cried so hard that SeeU had to take her headphones away and stuffed me with fluffy doll.
I looked at SeeU and Uni once again before I ran away from them. I had a feeling that Rin was buried in a place I knew very well. It was the place...
When we first met.
~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~
It was the present already. The cherry blossoms were fluttering to the ground as Spring arrived. I was alone, yet again but I could feel Rin's presence beside me as I sat beside her graveyard. "Rin, there's one more question I want to ask you. But before that, I would like to say it to you, too" I announced as I let my tears flowed down my face.
"I love you, Rin Kagamine. These feelings in my heart, do they reach to your heart as well? Sorry for being such a lame cowardly man, I should've told you this earlier. Now that you're gone, I'm sorry for not loving you as much as God loves you. Itsumo, aishiteiru yo (I will always love you) " I confessed, tears dropping to her grave again.
"If you are wishing for my happiness, then I am here wishing you for peace until we meet again in afterlife" I said and placed her favourite flower petals, the cherry blossoms themselves to her grave before I left for the orchestra tonight. I would do my best to reach the harmony of my music and her voice, though one of us already died.
There were so much more questions I wanted to ask her, but she never replied any of them. Oh well, it's alright to me. Because I love Rin. I always love her in my every heartbeat.
W/N:... I have no idea what should I say anymore. I'm having another two holidays because if heat stroke! Bye! Oh, and one more thing. Should I make an extra?