The coronation ceremony for Elessar was long over, but the celebrations, having already lasted long into the night, were still going strong.
Exhausted by the dancing, and feasting, and a bit drunk from the constant toasts, I was wandering the lush gardens, trying to indulge in some fresh air and peace.
As I rounded a tall hedge, I was startled to find Legolas stretched out on a stone bench, utterly still and silent, lost in his thoughts. I stopped for a moment, speechless by the sight.
The Elf's long, lithe body was still clad as it had been at the coronation, and the ivory garb glowed under the silvery moonlight. The ethereal glow was almost matched by the brightness of his hair, which lay softly over his neck and draped over the edge of the bench, barely tickling the ground.
He was gazing upward at the sky, and I thought I glimpsed the glitter of tears hovering at the tips of his long lashes.
A white blossom dangled from his fingers, and although I recognized his apparent need to be left alone with his musings, I did not possess the decency to avoid disturbing him. I had to remark on the irony that presented itself.
"You know, Legolas," I drawled, "it is unkind to pluck blooms from the earth."
He did not even deign to turn his head toward me. I imagine he'd sensed my approach long before I had taken notice of him in his state of supine reflection.
"In my defense, Glorfindel," he replied pointedly, "I did not pluck it; it was upon the ground when I came upon it."
"What are you doing out here, all by yourself when there is an enormous celebration to attend?"
"I needed time to reflect."
"Legolas, do not torture yourself with things that are never to be. I know you love him, and I know he loves you, but you have to accept that he is bound to his fate. You have too much ahead of you to keep dwelling on the past."
"Glorfindel, please. I need to be alone for awhile." The musical voice had a begging undertone to it that caught me by surprise. I had never known Legolas to beg.
"I am concerned for you. I do not wish to see you so heartbroken."
"Then I suggest that you seek solitude elsewhere."
"I want to help."
Legolas sighed. "It would help if you would return to the festivities and leave me. I appreciate your concern, truly, but it's unnecessary. I will be fine. My heart just needs a moment to accept its defeat."
"I wish that you would return to the festivities. The glory is yours also; this celebration is not only for the crowning, but for the Fellowship's achievements."
"Then it is for Aragorn and Frodo."
I reached out and curled my fingers around my friend's chin, tilting the beautiful face toward mine. "This is unhealthy. Elessar is not mourning his decision. He is enjoying the celebration, and the attention he and his future queen are receiving."
"As well he should be."
"You don't mean that."
Legolas frowned. "Yes, I do. He deserves to be happy."
"And you? Don't you deserve to be happy?"
"I will be."
"I want you to come back to the Great Hall with me. This celebration is one to be remembered, Legolas, and you should enjoy it. I am glad I found you out here. Your presence is missed inside. Everyone is looking for you."
I sensed his temper flaring before he even opened his mouth to speak.
"Who asked you to come find me?" he asked, clearly annoyed. "Aragorn?" The last inquiry was delivered with a generous amount of irony.
"I came out here for a moment to myself."
"As did I," Legolas grumbled, half to himself.
"In my defense," I retorted, becoming a bit annoyed myself now, "I did not even entertain the possibility that you could be out here. I was fairly certain you had locked yourself in your chambers to avoid watching the king and his betrothed, and we would be graced with your company again at breakfast after you had composed yourself from your grief."
He practically snarled, "Leave me, Glorfindel. This is none of your concern."
"You are my friend. Your well-being is my concern, whether you approve or not."
His nostrils flared, and his eyes glittered dangerously. "Leave me!"
"Leave you? Leave you in your misery? Leave you to dwell upon the impossible, longing for a king who will never be yours, wishing to turn back time so you could make things right? Nay, Legolas, I cannot leave you."
"Things are right, Glorfindel. Everything is as it should be. They belong together; they always have. I would never try to come between them."
"Yet you continue to want him."
"I cannot help my heart, but I do not begrudge the Evenstar her blessings."
"How can you think so highly of her, knowing that she was not there during that Quest, looking out for, protecting, and saving Aragorn time and again. She was not there to keep him believing when his courage faltered and he lost faith in his leadership abilities. You have been there for him through the hardest times imaginable, yet she gets to enjoy a lifetime with the man you are in love with, and you still think she's worthy of your respect?"
"Do not speak disrespectfully about the Evenstar." There was a definite edge of warning to his voice, and it was not lost on me. "You do not know her as I do."
"I am sorry, Legolas," I relented with a sigh. "I meant no disrespect to Arwen. I just hate seeing you so miserable."
"That is not her fault. She did nothing wrong, and should not be blamed for my suffering. She is everything he could need, Glorfindel, and I love her more that you might believe. I love her almost as much as I love Aragorn. He deserves to marry her, Valar knows, after all that he's been through. He owes Lord Elrond so much and could not live with himself if he betrayed the wishes of the one who practically raised him. Arwen will make a wonderful queen, and the people of Gondor adore her already. Who wouldn't? She is elegant, intelligent, and beautiful."
I sighed. "You are elegant, intelligent, and beautiful, Legolas, and as I told you before, Elessar is a fool to have made the choice that he did. Forget Elrond, and Arwen, and the people of Gondor. He is a fool."
"Glorfindel, please," he whispered, "don't."
"How can you forgive him for breaking your heart?"
"I know that he loves me, and that will have to be enough."
"You honestly believe that that knowledge will last you forever? That knowledge will be enough to keep you content, even after the realization sinks into your heart that he will never do anything about his love for you?"
Legolas stared hard at me. "I have to believe that it's enough. He is King now, and he is obligated to do what is best for his kingdom. If that implies that he must marry Arwen, I am not about to throw a temper tantrum like a spoiled Elfling and insist that he shirk his responsibilities so I can be satisfied. I am not conceited enough to believe for a moment that I am more important than an entire kingdom of people, Glorfindel."
"Some king," I commented derisively, "being responsible for leading a kingdom, yet incapable of following his own heart."
The blue eyes flashed. "Do not insult him. He did what he had to do, Glorfindel, and it is not your place to judge him."
"Do not judge me if I still love you, Legolas. I cannot help my heart either."
Always quick on his feet, he took the bait and ran with it. "And yet you begrudge Aragorn."
I shrugged. "He gave you up, without a moment's hesitation, and absolutely broke your heart. And he is in there now, as you mourn a love lost, feasting and dancing and drinking with the woman he feels nothing for, and yet will settle for, because it is what he has to do."
I took a deep breath, then finished, "And yet, he still commands every ounce of your respect."
Legolas opened his mouth to speak, but I placed my finger against his lips gently and shook my head. He remained silent. Deference always was one of his stronger suits.
"And here I am," I continued, "perfectly willing to be yours forever, and it's not enough . . . because I am not Elessar."