Nappies
'OK. O….K. I really loved the fun part and I didn't mind so much the icky part and I know when we did it I'd have to sort things but Sexy what do I do now." The Doctor walked around the tiny cot that graced his bedroom, its occupant sleeping contently from his last feed. The Doctor was a mess. He had lost his bow tie; his shirt was covered with sick and his room smelled and not in a good way. Only hours ago River had lain on their bed, the bed where he had lost his virginity in remarkable and amazing ways and given birth to their son. It had nearly killed him to leave her at Stormcage but she had made promises and insisted on keeping them.
Now he was alone with an alien creature that weighed 6 pounds 12 ounces and was 20 inches long. He had 2 hearts,10 fingers and 10 toes with a mop of red silky curls. He was ten hours old and due to improper burping techniques had spit up twice. River had tried to show him how to do it right but he had failed. It had broken her heart to leave and exacted a promise that he would not come back until she was properly sorted and he had practiced the things she had taught him.
They had even gone to classes. He had taken her from Stormcage on a regular basis to attend antenatal classes in London, just like real people. Well they were real people but not like those other real people. He had practiced the bathing and the burping and the changing just like the other dads. It should have worked. He got an A on nappy changing and was very proud. No one had explained the baby would actually move while he was changing it. They had left out the part about how absolutely disgusting its … ick would be. Nor had they mentioned that if you take a nappy off a boy he would water you. Time Lord children did not water their dads. It just wasn't done.
He circled the cot, looking at its tiny pink occupant. He had exactly two hours thirty minutes and fifteen seconds to figure out what to do. He could go to Rory and Amy but they would laugh. Besides Amy was six months pregnant with his uncle. How weird was that going to be at family reunions? Still he had to take him to see his grandparents. Just not today.
A huge smile broke on his face. He knew exactly where to go. He tore out of the room to the console, running around it like the exhausted madman he truly was. plugged in the coordinates, flipped off the hand brake and admonished sexy to be gentle as she landed. He grabbed his jacket, headed out the door leaving the TARDIS to play soft Gallifreyan music to maintain a calm and quiet atmosphere.
He walked down the short street hugging a stonewall until he reached the house he was looking for, took a really deep breath and knocked. No one came. Maybe he had gotten the date wrong. He had been very careful. He rang the doorbell…..and again…..and again. A bit long that time. The door yanked open revealing an irate person with sick on his shirt.
"Doctor?"
"Hello Craig. Is Sophie home?"