A/N: Inspired by Teal'c's 'no forgiveness' speech in 'Ark of Truth.'
***
For many generations the planet's people had lived in their humble little villages, clustered around the Doorway to the Stars. They tended their crops, worked their mines, and worshipped their god. Nothing eventful happened there, save for the times when the Doorway would burst open with its terrifying blue light and the Serpent Men would come with their glowing eyes and silver armor and fire-spitting staffs to accept the people's tribute to their great and mighty god Apophis. This usually took the form of what they had mined, which they gave willingly and gladly, but sometimes the word of the Serpent Men would be that Apophis demanded slaves for his tribute. This was hard for the people, but always they submitted. Was it not a small concession to make to Apophis, lord of death and night? Apophis, who guarded and watched over them all their lives? Apophis, who smote his enemies with fire and lightning, who none could possibly stand against! Yes, the people of the planet would endure much in return for the protection and mercy of such a being as this. And so their quiet lives went on.
One day the Doorway opened and the Serpent Men came, but something was different. There were more Serpents than usual, and they were led by a large dark man with a gold seal upon his brow. The wisest among the villagers were troubled by this, for they knew that the seal marked this being as the mightiest of the god's warriors and the enforcer of his will. He spoke loudly, and did not demand tribute, but rather ordered that all the people of all the villages on the planet gather in front of the Doorway to hear him.
This was done as quickly as possible, and frightened and confused people hurried to the great plain the Doorway to the Stars stood upon. By the time the sun began to set a great throng was assembled, full of rumour and worry, in front of the ancient ring to hear what the messenger of the gods had to say.
His face was stern, and his voice rang out over the plain. "Hear me, slaves of Apophis. Hear me, and know that your God is displeased." Cries of dismay rose from the crowd, but his voice rose above them. "Apophis is angry! For you have harboured doubt in your hearts, hidden blasphemy in your minds, and allowed your faith to be weak. Apophis knows all! Even now he looks down upon you from his great ship of the heavens. And to punish you for your failings, he sends the evil god Ra to destroy this world." The cries became screams, but still his voice bellowed through the night, its words impossible to miss. "Fire shall rain down from the skies! Ra's cruel soldiers, monsters with the heads of birds, will show you no mercy! Everything you have built will be destroyed!" The screams began to be replaced by sobs.
The messenger's voice softened somewhat. "However, your god is capable of mercy. He does not wish for you to become slaves of Ra." This much at least was true. "Tonight, you will gather your possessions. You will be taken through the Chappa'ai to a new world. Apophis gives you this world for your new home, for he is a generous god! On this world, you will work for the rest of your lives in his service, to repay his generosity and atone for your sins."
Now there was weeping in the crowd, along with a few voices shouting 'Praise Apophis' half-heartedly. But there was another voice. One which cried out 'No!'
The moment the fatal word was uttered, all the thousands gathered fell silent, aside from terrified gasps. People moved quickly away from the speaker and in seconds a circle had been cleared around him: a man who was not particularly handsome or wealthy or intelligent, a man who had nothing special about him say that he had said that one lethal word. He looked around him, amazed at how swiftly he had been transformed from a member of a crowd to someone utterly and nakedly alone.
The baleful red eyes of the Serpent Men fixed upon him, and he cringed. "Forgive me, I… I meant… it is only…" he spread his hands in a helpless gesture. "Always we have obeyed Apophis. We have never denied him anything, committed no disloyal act. And this is our home."
The man with the gold seal closed his eyes and bowed his head as though in great sorrow. Then, with an air of reluctance, he touched something on his armor and spoke. "My Lord Apophis. There is one here who has questioned."
A terrifying, booming voice filled the plain, bringing further wailing from the people. "Produce the sphere. Let him look upon the face of the god he defies."
The warrior nodded to one of the Serpent Men, who retrieved a gleaming sphere from a container. To the wonderment and awe of the crowd, the sphere levitated into the air and hung there, unsupported. Yet this was nothing compared to what came next. Behold! colours swirled across the metal and formed an image. The stern, dark face of Apophis appeared and glared balefully upon the people, many of whom fell to their knees in terror and worship. The man who had spoken out quivered, tears rolling from his eyes as the gaze of a god fell upon him.
Apophis' face scowled. "It is traitors such as this who have doomed your world through their lack of faith." He looked down on his chief minion. "Let him be struck down by divine fire. Let all see the fate of those who dare to question the will of Apophis."
The man with the golden seal nodded, and, after a moment's pause, he stepped forward, raising his staff. The end of the weapon of the gods split open, crackling with orange lightning. The victim raised his hands, opened his mouth to say something, but before he could speak a ball of fire shot from the staff across the plain, over the heads of the crowd and into his chest, blowing him backwards in a cloud of sparks and smoke. He hit the ground as a limp bundle of cloth and flesh as his fellows screamed around him.
Apophis' image nodded, satisfied. "So fall all who even think of opposing Apophis. Gather what you can carry, and follow my servants through the Gate, or you shall all suffer the same fate. I am Apophis. I have spoken." And with that, the sphere returned to featureless metal and slowly settled on the ground, where it was placed back in its container by one of the Serpents.
For a minute there was silence, except for sobbing. Then the wiser members of the crowd shouted out "Praise Apophis!" And the evacuation began.
***
Within hours, the planet was completely abandoned, its inhabitants herded through the Stargate with only what they held in their arms or wore on their backs to their new lives as slaves on a barren and ugly planet, their homes and crops set aflame to deny Ra's forces any possible use of them. Only Teal'c remained behind, ostensibly to personally ensure that no one had disobeyed the order to leave. In reality, he was standing in front of the Stargate, frowning at the body of the man he had shot, brooding over the day. The frown deepening to a scowl, he walked towards the body, deep in thought at the uselessness and injustice of it all. Apophis, in a rare fit of strategic realism, had decided that he could not hold this world against Ra, and that it would be wiser to conserve his forces than to fight in an impossible battle. Yet his ego would not allow his servants and his possessions to become Ra's; therefore nothing could be left on the planet for Ra to claim. And so a people lost their home and a brave man lost his life. And Teal'c, who knew the truth, who knew what was right and what was wrong, who was supposedly one of the mightiest warriors in the galaxy, had done nothing to stop it. In fact, he had helped to carry it out. As he had done so many times before and would likely do many times again.
Coming closer, he could now smell the charred flesh. Flies had begun to gather on the man while the evacuation proceeded. What was the use of Bra'tac's teachings, of being one of the few Jaffa in the universe who knew that the Goa'uld were not gods, if he continued to serve and act as though he still believed the lies? He was able to perform occassional acts of mercy outside of Apophis' knowledge, yet Teal'c knew deep down that they did not balance out the horrors he committed at his lord's behest, and likely never could. Indeed, Teal'c reasoned, if anything he was more guilty than an ordinary Jaffa: he did not have the excuse of ignorance the others did.
One day I may be free, he thought before asking himself the question which plagued him more and more lately: Yet even then, will I ever be able to forgive myself?
Suddenly, the body stirred, and Teal'c saw to his amazement that the victim was still alive and conscious, albeit barely. How the man could have survived all these hours with his chest a seared crater, Teal'c did not know. Perhaps he was sustained simply by pure hate- there was more than enough of it in his slitted, anguished eyes to make the Jaffa believe that such a thing was possible. "You…" he croaked, voice barely audible. "You…"
Teal'c wanted to say something to him, anything, yet no comfort or apology he could offer would ever be sufficient. The man knew it. "You… our whole lives we obeyed, and you… you!" He spat these words with his last breath, putting the last lingering traces of life he had left into giving voice to his rage, to cursing his killer. "I hope you… know… deserve... Can be no forgiveness for… you… not ever… never." This last was barely audible, as his eyes closed forever.
Teal'c looked down at him, face stony. "Indeed." It was a single word. It was also an answer. Most importantly, it was a promise.
Later he would return to report to his master. He would look upon the parasite as it sat with its stolen body, smirking with its stolen face, as it told him he had performed well in the service of his god. He would hold back his hate then, and he would hold it back later. One day he would be free of the parasite, and he would have friends and allies and a home and a mission and many years of fighting for the freedom and justice he had taken from others.
But he would always keep his promise.