Contemplation on the Matter of Sex with Nathan Scott
by Mallory
She closes her eyes and he kisses her stomach, and she thinks he is probably kissing the crescent moon around her belly button, because she saw him looking at it once, when her shirt was too short.
*
Even before she first told him she loved him, she would bury her face into his shoulder and mumble it to him inaudibly.
The first time, they are lying on her bed and he is throwing a ball up and down; she watches the flick of his wrist. He stops after a while, and flips over on his side to look at her. He traces her jaw line with the back of his hand, and says, quietly, "I think I loved you before I even met you."
She takes his hand and kisses it, and says, "I love you too," and then he pulls her close and they lie wrapped around each other and she never wants to let go.
Nathan talks about how she's different than anyone else he's ever been with. He says that she's the only person he's ever really and truly cared deeply about, and he runs his fingers through her hair and tells her that she's the only person he's ever wanted all of. He tells her he wants her mind and her soul and her body.
And then he ducks his head, embarrassed.
And then he tells her he'll wait until she's ready.
*
She stares into her mirror and asks her reflection, "Am I ready?"
And sometimes, hesitantly, she replies, "I am."
Is she? She wonders. She loves him. She's loved him for a long time; she's always loved him maybe.
And he loves her. And when they're together she's feels safe, and happy, and perfect.
"Am I ready?" she asks the mirror.
"I don't know," the mirror replies.
*
The topic for their Scarlet Letter essay is Sin & Knowledge, and they sit in his bedroom and try to figure out their theses, and she looks at him, and that's when she knows. "Nathan," she says, and she swallows, and wets her lips, and her hands tremble. "Nathan," she says.
He looks up at her.
"I…," she says, and she doesn't know how to continue, and she wets her lips again. "I…," and then a third time: "Your mom isn't coming home tonight, right?"
"No, she's at—," and he looks at her, and stops.
"I'm ready," she says, breathlessly. "I love you, and I want you, and I'm ready."
*
She closes her eyes and he kisses her stomach.
Author's Note: Ha! I actually followed up on something! And next will be The Actual Act of Sex Between Haley James and Nathan Scott, in which the readers shall be blessed with porn, and that will be followed up by The Serious Consequences of the Sexual Act Between Haley James and Nathan Scott, in which Haley will become pregnant of something. And now, since I have frightened you all, I say, no, I am joking. What I want to do with this author's note, instead of screaming portents of doom, is to thank sleepless-dreams, Angeleyez, and Starlight77 because they are so nice to me in their reviews. So, thank you.