Summary: It's the story you people have all been waiting for!...April and Splinter have their revenge on the turtles by teaching them two things: 1) to have good judgment and 2) to be cannibals…Uh Oh…
Before note: Yay! It's the story you guys have been waiting for for so long! Well, wait no longer, because the humor awaits you down below in the awesome oneshot sequel to "Turtle Pie"! I tried to make it as funny as I could, so it took me some time.
Happy cheers and happy reading!
Disclaimer: Everything would suck if I owned TMNT.
"Sensei, are you sure about this?" April asked with concern in her voice, throwing in a pinch of an unknown spice in the pot before her.
"Yes, my dear," the addressed Splinter replied, functioning a wooden spoon to stir in the pot, "As I said before, my sons are quite naïve at times. They judge way too quickly before they act. Believe it or not, this is a factor of what could be their downfall." He picked up a nearby cup full of chopped onions and dumped them into the pot.
"I don't understand," April admitted, watching the rat continue to stir.
Splinter smiled down at her. "My sons do not take the time to know when something may either be hostile or not. They mostly take action in their judgment before they interpret, especially Raphael. If they are not careful with this characteristic, they could become hostile to the wrong being, or end up getting attacked themselves."
"Raph always told me that you said, 'Actions speak louder than words.' Guess that's not what you meant, huh?" the redhead said, looking down at the liquid soup the two experimented on. She dumped in a cup of chopped celery and sprinkled bay leaves around the perimeter of the soup.
"Not at all," Splinter replied, shaking his head and sighing. Turning to April, he instructed, "Retrieve that sack next to you and hand it to me. It is time for the main ingredient…"
"Mikey, will you SHUT UP?!" Raphael was on the verge of exploding. Not the type of exploding where you have a splitting headache from an excessive annoyance and was about to transform into a migraine. Although, it wasn't like Raph was going to have that either, because he was. What we mean is that he was ready to unleash his hot-tempered fury on his youngest brother if he continued to humor him and himself with bad jokes and puns.
Yes, Raph was about to go on an anger spree because of Mikey's jokes and puns.
The two sat next to each other on the floor in the far corner of Donatello's lab. They were successful in Donnie's incredibly dangerous experiment of…disinfecting their taste buds, stomach acids and digestive enzymes, ridding them of the apparent life-threatening chemicals that cannibalistic turtle pie had to offer. The way to accomplish this was a special water Donnie had created hastily. While the four of them practically started a war trying to drink the liquid first, Mikey and Raph had eventually won, and were waiting (impatiently, for Raph's case) while Donnie experimented on Leo.
The happy grin Mikey wore on his bright face never left as he continued to bug the sense out of his red-clad brother. "Okay, okay," he stammered, trying not to laugh, "How about this? What do the Foot Clan do when they get tired or stressed out? Say what, say what, Raph!" The youngest could barely hold in his excitement any longer. He had no idea how oblivious he was to the fuming Raph taking all his willpower not to attack him. He told him to shut up before, so why wouldn't he do so?
Instead, Raph said through clenched teeth, "I don't know, Mikey. What do they do?"
It took Mikey a dramatic pause of silence before bursting out the answer. "They get Foot massages! Get it? Cause, they're the Foot Clan, and you can get FOOT mass-"
"I get it, Mikey!" Raph held his burning head in his hands, trying to block out the obnoxious noise of Mikey's hysterical laughter next to him. He looked up momentarily to see Leo giving him a false look of pity, while Donnie was half successful in holding his laughter down. Raph glared at both of them.
When Mikey was finished with his fit, he was hasty in his repeated quote of the day of, "Okay, okay, how about this? If Donnie were human, what would he be in?"
Raph tried his hardest not to start banging his head against the wall. "I DON'T KNOW, Mikey."
Michelangelo thankfully didn't hear the dangerous tone that aligned his brother's voice. Instead, he once again shouted the answer to the ridiculous joke. "He would be in the Purple Dragons! Get it? Cause, Donnie has a purple mask, and the Purple Dragons have purple-"
"We get it, Mikey!" This time, Donnie's voice was present in the chorus of Raph's irritated one. Any hideous joke that involved him received his full attention.
"-And because he's a literal pushover, just like them!" Mikey suddenly bursted out.
It took only a couple of seconds after that for Donnie's and Raph's expressions to trade with each other. Donnie's anger level had raised to the same height as Raphael's previous emotion, while Raph himself had cooled down a bit and enough to suddenly begin laughing. Leo himself had also drowned in laughter, blending in with his younger brothers. All except Donnie, who's cheeks were becoming the color of cherries, not from embarrassment, but from the painful containment of anger.
"Alright, then. I have a joke this time," he bellowed dangerously, inching towards Mikey with each word, "Why did Mikey try to run away from the 'Pushover'?" His glare had increased intensely as he watched his little brother back away from him.
Mikey laughed nervously, beginning to stand and pushing his cowering figure up against the wall that trapped him. "Uh, I don't know, Donnie," he stammered, "Why did Mikey run away from the pushover?"
Donnie smiled devilishly, the gap in his seeming to create the smile rather endearing. "Because he was afraid of the pushover pushing him over the roof of a building!" He pounced, causing Michelangelo to scream hysterically and jump out of the way just in time before Donnie managed to grab him. This was actually both good and bad news for him. Good because he was safe out of harm's way. Bad because his safety was put at risk once again when he saw Donnie crash head first into the wall where he had previously standing, and now this had made Donnie even angrier than ever.
"Come here, Mikey!" the gap-toothed turtle shouted, making another desperate grab at Mikey, who once again dodged and began running around the lab screaming again. Donnie chased after him. When the two ran behind the experimented-on Shellraiser resting in the corner, completely out of Raph and Leo's vision, those two were actually baffled at the mystery of how Donnie managed to grab a hammer when both he and Mikey came back into view. Leo shook his head and smiled.
"Little brothers…" he said, watching the start of World War III before him.
Raph looked at him incredulously. "You don't mean me too, right? I mean, I'm not the one in that mess."
"But you are my little brother," Leo implied back, smirking.
"Whatever. We're all the same age."
"But I'm more mature than you."
"Oh, really? Mature? So, mature people like to watch Space Heroes?"
"That is the gateway to my maturity. It helps me to become a better leader."
"Really? So far it ain't working." Leo glared at him.
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPP!"
Donnie had managed to corner Mikey near his computer desk. He had set his hammer down on the desk, his hands raised before him in an attempt to grab Mikey again.
"P-please, no!" he begged his older brother, shielding his face with one hand, "I didn't mean what I meant! I mean, take Raph, actually! He's the literal pushover! With his bloated buffalo skills, he gets weighed down easily!"
Raphael's face had blended in with his mask. "Alright, I want in. Make some room, Donnie!" He was fortunately restrained by Leo.
Donnie was stopped from doing another cat pounce on Mikey when all four of them heard a knock on the sliding door of the lab. They froze, waiting for an identifying voice.
"Who is it?" Leo called.
"Guys, it's me," they heard a female voice on the other side, much to their horror. It was April, the turtle-eating monster herself!
"Oh, no!" Raph said, his face looking fearful (for the first time).
"It's the cannibal! Everybody hide!" Mikey said in a shouted whisper as he raced over to Leo and hid behind his brother's shell. Donnie wore an absolute hurt look on his face.
On the other side of the door, April heard Mikey's quiet statement loud and clear and tried to keep her last scraps of patience within her. This was seriously getting old. "Guys," she said again, "Please come out of there. Master Splinter says it's time for dinner."
"This isn't a trick, is it?" she heard the muffled voice of Raph say to her.
"Yeah, what if it's all a trap to give us more turtle pie?" Mikey joined in, his voice smug. April rolled her eyes. She decided her best game was to humor them if she wanted them out.
"No, it's not," she said.
"You sure?" Mikey said back.
"Yes."
"Positive?"
"Yes, Mikey."
"100% sure?"
"Yeah…"
"You don't have any turtle pie with you?"
April ran her hands irritably through her red hair. "Will you guys just come out?!" she nearly shouted.
She found that the next few seconds of complete silence was totally unnecessary as she awaited the arrival of the turtles. She backed up when she saw the door slide open carefully and slowly. Four green heads with different colored-masks and eyes popped out one-by-one, each giving her a cautious look.
The redhead sighed, then held her hands out before her in a surrender position, showing them that she had nothing suspicious, her face saying "Nothing, okay?"
The boys seemed to relax a little. Unfortunately, much to her chagrin, as the five of them walked back to the kitchen, they had kept an irrelevant-sized distance away from her as she led the way in front of them.
When the teens finally made it to the worn down kitchen, they came to the smiling face of their sensei sitting at the head of the table. Five bowls with a soup the turtles didn't recognize were placed before five chairs perimetering the table. The soup pot still boiled over the stove.
"Aahhh, my sons," Splinter addressed, waving his hand in a gesture to the table, "come and sit. Your dinner awaits."
The turtles didn't feel like asking what their dinner was at the moment, as they were too hungry. After April sat down, the turtles followed suit. Of course, Donnie sat next to the pretty redhead, his fear of her drained, while Raph sat next to him. Leo and Mikey sat next each other on the other side of the table.
The five of them looked up at Splinter, waiting for the okay. The wise rat put his hands together, closed his eyes and bowed his head. "Itadakimasu," he said. The turtles and April followed his action, their voices joining in together.
When they had finally started eating, Mikey had relentlessly dug in into the soup, not caring in the least that he hasn't gotten to look over the meal and judge its appearance yet. This made Splinter smile. Mikey had half-passed his lesson.
Leo and Raph looked down at their bowls. Swirling in the olive soup were crushed bay leaves, chopped onions, and some sort of brownish-pinkish meat mountain with a lemon slice sliding down it. Leo's face remained neutral as he began to eat. Raph grimaced, but soon followed suit. Donnie continued to stare at the strange meal in front of him, occasionally poking it with his spoon and trying to calculate what it was. He picked up a small bit of the broth and tasted it. It was good…he guessed. Of course, he was the first one to ask the anxious question. "What is this, sensei?"
"Oh, it is a surprise, Donatello," Splinter said, smiling again, "I will tell you once you attempt longer to figure it out."
"But, I don't know…this looks real strange," he replied, staring skeptically at his strangely-made dinner. April gave him a reassuring smile, and he couldn't escape from the beauty it had to offer.
"Will you relax, Donnie?" Raph said to him, taking in another spoonful of the mysterious soup, "This stuff's delicious! Why won't you just stop judging things by how they look and just try it?"
"Raphael, you have brought up the perfect topic to chat about," Splinter suddenly said, earning himself a stare from said turtle.
"I…did?"
"Yes. In fact, it should be the perfect lesson to inform you of. As you can see, the four of you are outstanding ninjas-"
"More please!" Michelangelo bursted out loud suddenly, holding his clean bowl out to his father.
"Quiet, Michelangelo. As I was saying, you four have the perfect attributes any other ninja would have. You have courage, stealth, powers of good, patience-"
"More please!" Mikey said once again, impatiently. This earned him a whack from Splinter's cane. He whimpered as he sat back down and pouted.
"-and you have perseverance. But one thing you are lacking, is proper judgment."
"Oh, you mean how like Raph keeps saying that my jokes are really bad, even though they're actually-"
"Michelangelo!" Master Splinter addressed angrily. Mikey seemed to sink further into his shell.
"What do you mean then, sensei?" Leo asked carefully.
"What I mean is…you boys, as much I as would hate to admit it, are becoming too proud of your strength. You use this to your advantage to use it on new beings that you meet, when you barely get to know their true details. Raphael is much stronger in this logic." Raph had become irritated when he received pointed looks his way.
"As much as it may sound unbelievable, this is one of the reasons of a warrior's downfall. And in my book, it is also one of the most ridiculous. That is why I do not want my beloved sons to fall victim of this logic. All of you are smarter than this. You must use proper judgment for the good. Although the kunoichi's secret weapon is her deception and brilliant mind, and uses it well," he looked in April's direction, who smiled back at him, "the shinobi can do just as well with this. Do you understand?"
"But, sensei," Raph complained, "What about 'Actions speak louder than words'? What happened to that phrase?"
Splinter glared at his son. "Raphael, that phrase is not right when it comes to using good judgment. I merely said that to you when you were playing video games. When you fight an enemy, do you simply shout at the TV until he is defeated, or do you use a controller and act?...Now, as I was saying, do you inderstand?"
"We understand, sensei," Leo said politely, "we promise to use better judgment in our battles from now on."
"Ahh, that is where you are wrong, Leonardo," the mutated rat said, "Proper judgment should not be used just for your experience with combat. As I seem to recall, you have used poor judgment earlier when you disliked the particular dessert April had been kind enough to bring you, just because of the name."
Leo and Raph's faces seemed to have flushed at this statement. Donnie smiled nervously at the redhead sitting next to him. Mikey gave a confused stare.
"But…it's turtle pie," he explained, "it has turtle guts in it." Splinter had to smile at his son's innocence.
"My son, did you happen to taste any turtle guts in the pie?"
"They were sweet."
"No, Michelangelo. There are no turtle parts in the pie whatsoever. It is consisted of chocolate, cream, and nuts."
"Then why is it called turtle pie? Is it for a sick joke?"
"No. They call it that because the nuts are shaped like turtle shells."
"I KNEW it!" Donnie suddenly shouted. He had gotten some strange stares. "What?" he said quietly, "I didn't think that one vital piece of information was important…"
"More importantly, it seems that you owe April an apology for denying her generous present."
"You're right, sensei," Donnie implied. Turning to April with a sad face figure, he said, "We're really sorry, April. We shouldn't have been so mean and treated you like that. Can you forgive us?" April was silent for a while, staring at him blankly. She finally broke through her trance when she had seen Donnie look down at the table in despair, sad at her silent answer. She smiled at him.
"It's okay, Donnie. I forgive you." She stood up. Donnie felt that he was going to faint from what happened next as his heart stopped. He blushed up a terrible red storm when he felt April's lips attack his cheek. When she pulled away from the kiss, she smiled again at his reaction as he remained immobilized in shock. "I forgive all of you," she said to the other three. Leo smiled nicely at her, Raph smirked at Donnie's facial expression, and Mikey resisted the urge to say a smart remark at what April had done.
Their friendship had been restored again.
"Well," Mikey said, his bright blue eyes gleaming with light, "Why don't we finish off this dinner with that pie again? I'll give it another try! Oh, that reminds me, sensei! Can you tell us the name of the soup now?" the happy turtle practically bounced up with excitement. His awaited question had caught everyone's full attention, even Donnie, who had just broken out of his love trance. Everyone except April, who was trying not to give a sinister smile.
Splinter's heart had paced a few beats when he saw his sons' excited faces. Oh, how he much he could imagine how they would change once they found out what this mystery meal was…
"Tell us, sensei!" he heard Leo say, his son's dark blue eyes shining.
Splinter chuckled. "You would like to know now, my sons?"
"Yes!" was the anxious response he received from all four of them.
"Alright. Boys, you are eating what goes along with the lesson I taught you earlier: turtle soup."
April grinned at the TV viewing her favorite show. She had been there for a while for the rest of the night, trying to catch up on lost relaxation from this earlier eventful day. It had been filled with fun and laughter, especially laughter. This was mostly strengthened through her best friends, the turtles.
She never knew that they had become so sensitive when it came to references of turtles.
She had to laugh when the memories from earlier flooded her head. It was just after a few seconds when Splinter finally announced the name of the mysterious soup they'd been eating. She and him hadn't eaten a single drop of the food, just watched the turtles secretly as they pretended to. When those two horrific words put together were finally interpreted in each turtle's mind…well, we could just say that it had gotten pretty messy in both ways.
A zip of green and orange flew past, and the only things that used to be Michelangelo were the sounds of fast running feet and a devastated voice that yelled, "TURTLE GUTS PART TWO! GET IT OUT OF MY MOUTH!" The next things she could hear were the sound of the bathroom door shutting and the unpleasant noise of particular body fluids leaving the mouth.
Leo had worn the same expression as Donnie after he received a kiss from April earlier. His hand that held his spoon hung limply, until it managed to escape his lax grip and clattered loudly on the floor. He was unresponsive for a long while.
April could only hear the noise of something heavy crash to the floor. She turned and was surprised to see Donnie's unconscious body lying on the floor, with the exception of his bare feet resting on his spot on the chair. How did he faint so fast?
Raphael was the only one still living, but his reaction was just as much as surprising as it was hilarious. Spitting out the mouthful of broth and "his" meat on the table, he began to endure of a few colorful choice words, spoken in Japanese, thankfully. Although, no matter what the language, Splinter had lectured him on his vocabulary choice.
The four turtle brothers then knew, that they would be more wary of April and Splinter from now on. They were now forever traumatized.
After Donnie and Leo were revived, Raph was finished of the lecture, and Mikey had returned from the bathroom, Master Splinter had ordered them out on their evening patrol. The remaining two then proceeded to clean up the mess the boys had created while they were out. During this process, they both had a long session of laughing, seeing as their plan had successfully worked. After they were finished cleaning, April had decided to spend the night and had settled down on the couch in front of the TV.
And that's the story of how she ended up here.
She heard footsteps behind her and turned. Splinter smiled down at her. "How are you, dear?" he said kindly.
"Just fine, sensei," she said casually, smiling back, "and thank you again for that plan of yours. It was pure genius. In fact, even better than Mikey's own pranks."
"Mmmm…" he hummed in understanding, "I have learned a few tricks or two from the boy himself, though I would prefer not to do it again."
She thought he was right. He didn't seem like a prank master anyway. Yet again, the two were bonding so quickly over these months. Ever since she lost her father, April had gotten closer and closer to Splinter ever since. She would never have thought of both Splinter and herself being the perfect partners-in-pranks, but it seemed true. If you had to choose between Mikey's pranks or April and Splinter's, it would be the wiser choice to go with Mikey's.
After all, the kunoichi's best weapon is her deception and mind, right?
The end!
Best story eva, right! Please give me the best of comments, I worked all night on this!