A/N: Hello. MissPoprocks'n'Coke is finally back from her long vacation [And by that I mean writer's block.]! Well actually, it's still in place... but whatever! Lol! Lately,
I've been working on my musicianship [I'm in a band] and have been trying to pay attention in school... that second one isn't working out that well... Anyways, I've gotta warn you about this story [It's kinda rough-to me at least], it's kinda set on several emotions at a time, and this chapter is just getting out suppressed feelings, it SHOULD get better, Hinata is out of character, and my Microsoft Word is completely gone for the moment cause I had a virus so now I have to work on notepad. Which doesn't have spell check by the way, but I'll try the best I can and make this the best [Maybe. Depending on the feedback.] story it can be [Please review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]. And I know I haven't finished My Sugar Plum but BEAR WITH ME! And this story won't always be written as journal entries... unless y'all want it to be that way. [Please review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!].
So here's my attempt:
Lyrics to Chelsea Smile by Bring Me the Horizon [I got the idea for this from this verse... and my best friend]:
I've got a secret
It's on the tip of my tongue, it's on the back of my lungs
And I'm gonna keep it
I know something you don't know...
Secret?
February 13, Friday
Dear diary,
I'm finally using you! Tenten says I should use you to vent out my emotions, my dreams, everything! I love her, but, does she honestly the pain is that ferocious? That my senses would one day go berserk and I would begin a rampage of doom. I feel fine! Isn't that ironic? Oh well, I guess she'll never learn that one day I'll be the one taking care of her like she pretends to... My, my, my... I can't wait until she goes mad and the blood vessels in her head would swell and pop with such intensity. Pop! Pop! One by one until she finally realizes how clever (And beautiful.) I really am. One day she'll realize she's poisoned her mind with false hopes and dreams, and take her own stupid medicine...
Well, today is Friday the 13th and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world... Let me explain- tomorrow is the day he first asked me to be his girlfriend, it would've been a year had we not,
well, broken up. I hate those words! Why did he have to do it? The pain is so agonizing it feels as if it were a gash radiating with ridicule! Mocking my hope? Valentine's Day is supposed to be a wonderful holiday of bliss; friendship. Shall I nevermore use such terms to describe the event- nevermore... Why? I love him, but if he finally realized how much torture he's put me through, then he'd have me in his arms, in his life. Tenten says that the only way that'll happen is if a miracle would be kind enough to beg my pardon to receive such a task. Does that even make sense? To relieve of my fear of him never being there? Ugh. She also said I need to get a grip on reality. I think she needs to get a grip on...
I don't know; forget it. I don't want to waste my time with such insignificance- that's what Tenten always says when she's frustrated. She's my best friend; I shouldn't be speaking of her- badly- anyways. She's been with me for what feels like an eternity.
I've known her since the sixth grade, and now I'm a junior in high school, and she's my favorite person in the world! (Although, once she had said I needed to see a shrink.) She has no love life! It's quite odd really, she is the most charming senior, however, she has quite a reputation of rejecting people: 42 guys and 3 girls, exactly, a grand total of 45! forty-five! 45!
people. And she's rejected all of them. Can you believe it? Rejecting those deluded girls was understandable (She's straight.), but all of those poor guys, one of which was my cousin,
Neji, who is a few months her junior. At one point, she was crushing on him, and, then, they were inseparable, but that time had passed when he asked her to be his. Sadly, as time had stretched on and on, she had mentioned that she had lost interest, and scolded herself for the- what she calls- having others being stabbed by your wretched, horrid numbness. Funny thing is, they would have made a good couple, but she said that a dream that our good friend, Ami, had was actually a "vision". I think she's mental. The dream that Ami had only she and Tenten in it, Tenten told her the good news, but, as she spoke, she seemed to care less and less. Horrible.
I'd never admit it to her, but she seems to be "The Child of Emo". And she's not even emo! She doesn't cut herself or is depressed (Although she said those were only stereotypes),
but she just looks it. And she would sigh and roll her eyes if I said it to her face, but laugh in her own little fashion, but I know she doesn't really care... She's usually dressed in black, red,
white, or purple. Her favorite colors, and her hair is always in her eyes, giving off the "lonely" appearance. She's quite interesting actually, especially her mysterious circular bruise on her arm, but she says I'm not allowed to talk about that...
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day! Isn't that a day dedicated to man who committed suicide? Or did I get the story wrong? All I remember is that there was a girl (Helen? Helena? Eleanor?
Goodness! What in the world was her name!?) and she was in prison (Or was it [It's dreadful that I confuse the two in this story-] a church?), then St. Valentine gave her a love letter by sending a dove, and then... he died? I give up. But is that day really meant to be celebrated, or did I get the story wrong? I hate Valentine's Day. It only reminds me of... him.
I wish I was a bird so I could fly away, among the clouds and through the rain, falling from the stars... and you could talk as well as... Well, not me because I constantly stutter. You're just like a wall, so would that make these deplorable words writings on a wall? I'm not sure, but you're like a stone statue, and that would make this the graffitti. And I'm like a glitch. I am a glitch. I am so many things, yet... whatever. And just so you know, I don't trust you, so I'm not going to tell you about what's on my mind, but I...
never mind; you don't care about my feelings. You're just a book. A stupid book. That's pretending to be fancy by disguising itself as a diary. I know that, so shouldn't Tenten?
Love?
Hinata