Jowan and Neria Surana

He was an idiot to think blood magic could save him.

He was an idiot to rely on anything other than his incredible best friend.

When he revealed himself as a blood mage, Jowan noticed something that he'd kick himself over for the rest of his life.

While Lily backed away from him and looked at him like he was a monster, Neria stepped closer until she was right next to him, offering him silent support as he pleaded with Lily. She even looked like she aborted an attempt to reach out for him, but he only saw it out of his peripheral vision and might have seen that incorrectly.

It was as if his best friend was more worried about him than she was the fact that he'd just decimated a group of experienced Templars with blood magic.

Jowan was so glad that he hadn't touched her with said blood magic when he'd lashed out.

All throughout their long friendship, they'd always been there for each other. Whenever one of them needed emotional support, the other would wordlessly lace their hands together, slender elven fingers held within his bulkier human digits. Neria was the one who started the supportive hand-holding gesture, back when they were young children, and it had forever stuck.

(When Neria finds him in the dungeon at Redcliffe castle, she wordlessly laces her fingers through his as he struggles to explain himself. Her action causes him to choke on overwhelming emotion and stumble over his pathetic words. He doesn't even hear the protesting of her companions over the roaring sound of blood he imagines he hears in his veins. She still cares even after everything he's done, and it just about breaks him.)

The elven mage had always been an amazing friend, his absolute best friend.

And when Lily sent him away, he ran, but it was not the Initiate he last looked at.

It was Neria, sorrow written plain as day across her face.

As he ran, he couldn't help but think how glad he was to have known her and been her friend, and he couldn't help but feel guilty for what he'd done. Undoubtedly, the fact that Neria had unflinchingly helped him escape would ruin everything she'd worked so hard for her whole life.

He prayed that they would not make her Tranquil.

Jowan kind of hated himself in that moment for not ever trying to be anything more than friends with Neria – if she would have even accepted such overtures.

If it had been her instead of Lily...

He was an idiot.