Hey Guys

So this is my first story. It came to me when I realised there was no idea of where Kurt was going to go next and the hiatus was too long for me to wait! So here's my idea of where it could go

Reviews greatly appreciated, as I'm not sure whether to continue it or if it's any good!

Hope you enjoy

Amy 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee

To exist, we must change. To live, we must change. To survive, we must change.

Change. Such a simple word but so many definitions, meanings, and complications.

'The process of becoming different.'

Everyone has to change, it's as common as the rate we rotate our clothes. Sometimes we don't even notice. Changes can be subtle. But sometimes they are obvious. Although we are still the same person, we are not in any way the same person we were when we were younger. Kurt knew he had changed. He knew there had been massive changes to his life, to his lifestyle and to his personality.

His fashion sense, although still as vibrant and unique as ever, he wore the clothes with more confidence. He had opened up about his sexuality, even though most people already knew, including his Dad, it had taken a huge step for him to admit it. He was much stronger than he used to be, his confidence was a great deal higher than it was when he started McKinley, and for that he would always be grateful to Glee Club and Dalton for making him the man he was at his graduation. He had come so far from that shy, quiet, in the closet, bullied boy to a mature, confident, openly gay, in love man, and he loved that change.

But this change, it was not what he expected, not what he wanted, not what he had planned for.

NYADA didn't want him… how was that possible? With everything he'd gone through, everything he'd overcome and everything he'd accomplished and yet still, STILL he wasn't what NYADA had required. Rachel had got in. Rachel had choked, stalked, and still got in. Yet him, with his skills, his passion, the non-conventional song he had sung, he had failed. Failed. Kurt Hummel had failed.

He had never failed before. He prided himself on being the best he could be, maybe he didn't get all the solos in Glee Club, and maybe he wasn't the most popular boy but he did everything he could to the best of standards. But this, this feeling of failure was taking hold of him. His Dad and Carole had taken Finn up to the army base, and were staying with him for a couple of days so as to get everything sorted after Kurt insisted he was fine, and they should go. But truth be told he wasn't.

They had left two days ago and since then Kurt had barely eaten, barely moved from his bed where he stayed curled up in a ball. His phone was on his dresser, as far away from him as possible. It had been going off every half an hour with a new message, or a new missed call from Blaine trying to get through to him, or Rachel trying to talk to him. But he just couldn't… he just couldn't bring himself to talk about it. Talking about it made it real, talking about it meant admitting his failure, talking about it meant admitting defeat. He stayed on his bed alternating behind crying his eyes out to the point where all the came out were dry rasps, or being so angry he would attack the pillows to try and get it out. He couldn't take it. He didn't fail. He shouldn't have failed. His audition was amazing, everyone had said so. This was his dream, everything he had ever wanted, was to get to Broadway, and that had just been ripped so easily away from him. It was what he had promised his mum.

His mind wandered back to that conversation with his mum as the exhaustion hit him, and he fell into a restless sleep.

'Mum I'm home.' He yelled as he walked into the house that morning.

'Hi honey, how was your day?' his mum called back from the front room.

Kurt followed her voice and walked through the kitchen into the front room. His mum was sat on the sofa and as she heard him approach she turned around. He did a double take. She looked as beautiful and as caring as she always had to him, but in her eyes he could see fear and pain, and in her face he could see the weakness that she had so carefully tried to hide from him. His dad had sat him down the night before and told him that mum wasn't very well at the moment so to just be careful. But he hadn't explained how ill she really was. As soon as she saw the terror in his face at the pain his mum was going through, the expression and the fear was gone and she was her happy self once again. But it was the conversation that followed that would never leave him.

'Kurt, sweetie come and sit down with me for a minute. I need to talk to you.'

He walked around the sofa and sat next to her leaning on her shoulder.

'Now I'm guessing your dad spoke to you last night but I just wanted to make sure you're okay.'

'Mum I'm fine you don't have to worry about me, I'm big and strong just like dad' Kurt said with a cheeky grin on his face.

'Yes you are' she said kindly smiling back. 'But I want to know what you want, what your hopes and dreams are, where you want to be in the future? Because I know it's not in your Dad's auto shop.'

Kurt stared up at her in surprise; he had never said that before, he had never even let on. He of course didn't want to end up working in a garage like his dad, but he hadn't known how to tell his parents.

'I know Kurt; I know you don't want to be like your dad, you've always had big dreams'

'I want… I want….' He didn't know how to say it; he didn't want to stress her out further than he could already tell she was, he just wanted to make her happy. 'I need to get out of Lima. I want to go to New York… I want to make something of my life, be someone other people can look up to and want to be like, I want to act and sing and dance and perform.' It all came out in a rush, he hadn't meant it to, and once he had started he just couldn't stop. 'I don't want to play sports or learn engineering, I want to be free, to perform to let my emotions show in a song, to move people who watch m. But it's a silly dream. I know it is, I could never be that confident of talented as to get there, I … I … I just want to make you proud of who I am.' At the end of his speech, there were tears pouring down his face.

'I will always be proud of you honey. No matter what you do or who you become I will always be proud of what you've done. I think that's a remarkable dream and that you will get there. You should never ever doubt yourself, you are my amazing little boy and your father and I believe in you. We always will. You have the strength and the incredible talent to get there. I want you to promise me that you will try, try your very hardest to get there, to not give up and to make sure this happens. Can you do that for me Kurt?'

'But mum we have all the time in the world to talk about this, when I get older and this is closer.'

'Kurt sweetie, I just need you to promise me you will try'

'Okay I promise, I will… I will try for you'

Two weeks after this conversation, his mother died. At her funeral, he gave a speech that moved everyone in the church to tears including himself. He told them of the love his mother had given him, of the memories he had that he would never forget, and of the powerful woman that she was, how she had affected everyone who knew her, and he was glad to call her his mother. And at the end of his speech he said two words, two words that meant nothing to the entire of the church but was his way of telling his mum he would never forget their conversation. He would never stop trying. Those words? 'I Promise.'

This was 8 years ago.

End of Flashback

When Kurt awoke the next morning, he knew what he had to do. He couldn't break that promise, not to her, not after all this time and all he'd been through. For the first time in 3 days, he got up off the bed and he made his way to the shower. Half an hour later he emerged dressed in his usual flamboyant attire and headed downstairs for some food. He couldn't face his phone. Not yet but food seemed like the right step. He made himself pancakes with banana and chocolate sauce and immediately felt a whole tonne better! He wasn't big headed or anything but he made the best pancakes ever!

But no matter how good his pancakes were, he knew he had to face the real world, so with his second cup of coffee that morning he made his way slowly up the stairs to where his phone lay.

He picked it up and sat on his bed. Here we go he thought to himself.

78 missed calls.

154 Text Messages.

Wow his friends really did care. He had 49 missed calls and 98 text messages from Blaine. Blaine. He cared so much about him. He was the best thing that had ever happened to Kurt and he had blocked him out. Blaine loved Kurt more than Kurt loved coffee which was saying something in Kurt's mind. He hadn't meant to block Blaine out, he just couldn't face those gorgeous brown pools that Kurt was constantly getting lost in, that would have been filled with sadness, worry, and so much care. He knew he had to call him, but he didn't know where to begin... But his love for Blaine was stronger than he had ever realised before, he couldn't lose anyone else that he loved. So he dialled.

Blaine answered on the second ring. 'KURT? Kurt? KURT o my Gosh is that you? Are you okay? What happened? Where have you been? What have you been up to? Talk to me! Say….

'Blaine … hi…. I'm Sorry. This NYADA thing it… it… I don't know it just hit me harder than I thought it would. I'm sorry I didn't mean to worry you or to scare you or anything. I love you.

'I love you too'

And Kurt smiled for the first time in what felt like an age.

'Anyway I was ringing to ask if you fancy meeting up for coffee? I could do with talking something through with you.'

'Of course! I'll see you in half an hour?'

'Yea see you then. Love you'

'Love you more.'

'Love you most.'

And Kurt hung up. He knew it was sad but Tangled was one of their favourite films… so the used the quotes in everyday life.

He checked his phone again, feeling a whole lot better about things after just hearing Blaine's voice. The majority of the rest of the texts were from Rachel, begging his forgiveness and that New York wasn't the same without him, and that she really needed to talk to him. He knew he should ring her, but that felt like an extra step he wasn't ready for yet. And so he got ready for his coffee date with Blaine with a smile on his face, knowing that he had a new plan, a new way to go and all he needed now was some support from the best boyfriend in the world.

This was the biggest change he had ever had to make, but he knew in his heart he was on the right track. And he was happy. New York was still calling his name and he was definitely going to answer. Now to just figure out how to get there….