I do not own snk , if I did certain people would still live -_-

Enjoy ^^

"Marco?" jean breathed out as he looked at the body laying in the white bed. Injuries a thousand times worse than jean had imagined before he had seen his best friend laying there. Of course when he had ran through the unharmed and didn't see marco he had though of worse. Of the worst. Marco's death had flashed by in his mind. Marco's deathly cold body was something jean had seen in his mind.
If you take that in consideration this would indeed be better.
But he had the worst wounds off all. He's placed in the 'harmed' section, jean had just cherrished it would have been small. A flesh wound. A broken leg. No, it was worse than that. So much worse.
His body was full of bruices and cuts, his right armpipe empty -leaving jean's heart clinching onto his chest as if it could stop any minute- but then there still was the bandage wrapped around the right side of marco's face. How mad was the wound there? Enough to have hit marco's eye? Wat kind of wound, how long would marco feel it?

Marco opened his one eye, making the fact the other was not in tact somehow more obvious.
"Hey jean" he whispered happy, yet heartbreaking.
"Hey" Jean mentally cursed himself for his weak voice as his body rilled incredibly, tears in his eyes.

"I'm glad you're okay, I was afraid I lost you, but look at you, so strong.. " The smile on their face was obviously fake, yes they were happy to see each other, but a real smile was more than impossible.

"I'm sorry" Marco whispered, his left hand gripping the white sheets "I should have done better, I shamed myself.. I made you and everyone worry"
Jean shook his head, wishing he could change marco's thoughts, wishing marco didn't think that way. He prayed that he could change marco's thoughts without using words, since his voice, had already given up on him.
His voice cracked as he tried to talk "no.. no no no, don't say that, it's alright, just fine, you did great, you would never bring shame on us"
Quietly he wished cooler sounding words could come out of his mouth. Things that would get through to marco, which would make marco realize that they- or at least jean- really did think that way.
Jean looked at his freckled friend, his hand shaking, afrain of doing something wrong, or hurting marco if he really did dare to even touch him. Yet the older boy just smiled up at him, as if jean had just shown him why he was alive. Jean moved as close to marco as possible "I'm going to take care of you" Jean mumbled, feeling marco's hand taking jean's "b-because I want to, because I car-" He felt one arm pulling him closer to the weak body of his beat friend. The strength in the arm was nothing, yet it took jean by surprise, the way his beat friend embraced him. Even he knew that marco was trying to suppress his pain, though if a hug was worth all that pain to marco, jean would let him, breath in marco's sent and remember it forever.
Though little did jean know that he indeed was the reason marco could bear this pain because of him. Little did he know that marco didn't feel the emptiness of his lost side when he had his best friend pressed up against his body. He didn't know that marco would want to fight for him.

A few days later jean found marco back at home, at the couch. At the place he had left him when he had visited the days before that one. For now, the moments he was off duty were the most amazing moments. The moments he could go to marco's small house. He knew that when he walked in, marco knew it was him, he didn't have to say anything because just like he could with marco, marco could hear it when jean was coming, his breath and his footsteps were enough. I guess that's what you get, when every single move, every single breath is taken together.
"Hey" Jean's calm voice filled the room.
"Hey jean"
"How are you doing?" The younger asked putting a bag of food next to marco's couch.
"I'm fine. Missing my arm is.. inconvenient and I see less.. with one eye and all.. yet the painkillers really do the trick" It hurt jean how he could talk about it so casual, yet so wonderfully strong. The horrible fact and thought of all this strength and causality being vain, a lie, was even worse.
Jean sat next to marco, wishing he could be there at his friends bed every day, every moment of the day. Up untill now he had been coming everyday. Partly because he could see marco's pain, hidden behind a perfect mask of a smiles and freckles, but also because he wanted to, he needed it himself. He needed marco to keep him up when training was hard, or when eren was bitching at him. He was feeling so damned lonely without marco at his side all the time.
This made his realize something. Something he had been worrying about for some time now. And now, at the worst moment he had finally realized.
It was not mikasa, or any damned other women that could make him happy.
God he'd rather die then end up with a wife he didn't love and a hard job.
He did know, that he wanted to stay together with marco. Forever.
He loved marco.
Saying this would make everything worse. But he loved marco, so damn much.

"My mum is putting extra carrots and beans in my soup.. She says that harvest went well but I know that she's eating less for me" "That's all they can do" Jean sat on the couch next to marco, the couch hard, nothing like jean was used to.
When jean was little he had thought that he was pour, but it turned out it really wasn't that way when he started coming to marco's house, which was a long time ago. Now, he's give everything he once thought he had to marco, he'd still have enough.

"I hate that I don't know what's going on with you guys" Marco mumbled "Imagine how I felt when you were gone" Marco looked up, his eyes filled with apologies. This was the first time they had really spoke of what happened since it did.
"Sorry" he whispered, his hand finding the place he had lost the other defensively. Making himself smaller.
"Marco I'm not trying to hurt you, I just really care for you okay.." I love you, I love you and I would have kept that fact to myself untill eternally if you had died. Maybe I even will now.
"Thanks jean"
"you might feel sorry.." jean's voice was rilling, trying to look away from marco "but spending a lifetime taking care of you.. sounds like the most perfect life to me"

Jean put down cups, trying to have an excuse not look at his best friend. Though when his pained eyes did travel around the room, met marco's, he could see tears welling up in his eyes. The freckled was trying to push them back, making his lip white from biting on it too hard.
As tears fell out of his yes faster he hid his face. Soft, yet incredibly painful cries came out of his mouth. For the first time, marco broke down. Jean stood up, awkwardly trying to calm marco, pulling his arm away to try and make marco look at him.
He took the freckled cheeks in his hands "Marco, it's okay, we- you'll be fine" Jean himself indeed knew, he was not good at making people feel better.
"I don't want to ruin your life"
Jean's heart broke in small pieces "Shut up, Marco you won't"
"I'm really the worst" Jean tightly held on to marco's face, stared into his eyes, hoping that would let marco see his thoughts.

"Don't say that.. I love you"

Both boys fell into complete silence for a few seconds. "I love you to, jean"

Jean tightly closed his eyes and backed off. "No, no, you don't get it. I'd see myself spending my life with you. When I thought you were dead I didn't know what I would do with my life" I need to stop "Do you think, that I could think about how I could still have a life with a nice young lady?! No! there was nothing! My life is empty without you!" jean's voice dyed down "You're the only person I care about"

A silence fell over the room, with every passing second jeans regret grew. Every word he said seemed worse. He knew he had fucked it up. He knew had made marco loose even more than he had already.
"I'm sorry" Jean whispered standing up. His mind going crazy. He wanted to cry. He wanted to die.
"I'm so, so sorry marco" His feet moved towards the door.

"Jean stop"

Jeans legs stopped. His yes closed.

"Come here, please"

He didn't want to, still he felt himself getting closer to the man he loved. Untill he was close enough for the other to touch him.
"jean" Jean nodded, still not looking into marco's eyes. "Are you really.. in love with me?"
Jean looked away, not pulling away from the hand marco had wrapped around his as tight as he could.
He slowly nodded.

"the why are you being a pussy, once again"
Jeans eyes snapped to marco's. That was not what he had been expecting. Not even a little.
"Wha-" "Jean no offence.. I really want to.. but I can't exactly move over to kiss y-"

Before he could finish jean had pushed his lips on marco's. Cursing himself for not being careful with the fragile body. Still sensation rushing through him. One hand on the freckled cheek and one on his right hip, under the emptiness.
Jean slowly pulled back.
Scared.
A simple peck had left him terrified, even more than all the days in the military.

For a while the boys looked in each others eyes, at total loss of words. Though they tried to tell the other what the hell was going on with their eyes, unaware of the lost look on their faces.
"jean I-" "It's fine.. you don't have to force yourself just because I decided to be an asshole and fall for you"
The pain and regret in jeans heart was close to killing him.
"You really are an asshole" Marco squeezed jeans hand "but not for falling, you are for not falling sooner"

It took jean a while to realize what marco had just said.
When he did, he didn't know how fast he could push his lips back on marco's, letting his hand go through the dark locks , one arm keeping him close. The arm weak, the message strong. Jean pushed himself closer, as if the gap between him and the kissable weak body had to be closed.
His hand softly stroke marco's waist and the salt in their mouths mixed with their saliva, notting that marco was too, crying. To maybe it were jean's own tears? he didn't know.

"Marco" Jean whispered, his lips still on the ones of the man he loved, his best friend "I'll be your other half"
Marco looked down, felt his romp, thinking about what he had lost while jean mentally cursed himself for being such a freaking ass when it came to using the right words.
"If you'll be mine please"
Marco smiled, now obviously, knowing what jean meant.
" yeah, I'd like that"

Sooo.. This was tiring and hard.
My first snk fanfiction.
I hope you like it.
When I get the hang of the characters I might do another multi chapter one (: