SOOOOOO...hullo I see you've tried reading my book of oneshots! I hope you don't hate them too much!
There will be spelling and grammar errors but I will try and keep it to a minimum.
Please leave suggestions if you want regular updates bc I have a lot of inspiration atm but tmwI might not!
Trigger warning for major character death (a bit), what could be inferred as a panic attack but not really, grief, possible suicidal thoughts.
If you're dealing with any of the above, you're super strong, and you will get through this, there's just a little bumpy road until you get out of this! You got this, you kickass human being!
Also, Peter is a fren in these parts bc I love the motion that maybe he was never confronted by you-know-who and maybe Snape wasn't staying at the Hogsheadthat night.
"I'll be fine, Pads! Stop worrying!" I assured a frantic Sirius, his head buriedin my cardigan, near tears.
"But what if this is the last time I see you?"
He was usually this dramatic but there was an edge to his voice I had only heard when he'd heard what his brother had done.
"It won't be, Dumbledore predicted that the mission would take a week, and he is barely ever wrong about these things. It's not like I have to get real chummy and seduce you-know-who!" My cheap shot of humor brought a small smile to Sirius' face, and I didn't know who it wasmeant to make feel better.
I laughed along with Peter and James, desperately trying to stop Sirius making this harder than it already was.
I had a suffocatingknot of anxiety in the bottom of my chest, and it as threatening to pull me under until I couldn't breathe.
I had to keep breathing for Padfoot.
I had been assigned the mission to break into Sirius' childhood home and look around on the pretense of being a visitor to their annual party, while there I had to find and destroySalazar Slytherin's locket using a basilisk fang from Newt Scamander, a local Magizoologist, who never asked too many questions and often helped with missions.
It was the last Horcrux. We had destroyed a cup, a diadem, a ring and a diary. Finish the locket off, and there we go. We can kill Voldemort with one single curse.
I was terrified.
Too much rested on me succeding.
Sirius didn't know the true extent of the mission and where I was going, or he would have insisted on going in my place, however, his parents would recognize him immediately.
James and Peter were planning on telling him the day after I left so he wouldn't be able to follow.
To be honest, Sirius' concern was well-grounded. We had lost members to the "small" mission he thought I was going on.
However, this mission wasn't small in any shape or meaning of the word.
Keep breathing for Pads.
Keep breathing for Pads.
The mantra chased itself round and round my head as I flooedto a small apartment just across the road from Number 12 Grimmauld Place.
Pretending to be a death eater, against all my principles, wasn't hard at all. It was fucking impossible.
I nearly slipped up several times and only recovered by laughing loudly and saying "As if! Only blood traitors andmudbloodscould think as stupidly and irrationally as that!" It hurt each time, especially when they were talking of the "incredible, life-changing" plans of the death eaters to cull thewerewolves. I nearly left the room but manage to keep a cool head and nod in the right places.
I lay awake at night, and I couldn't believe that we were barely 20, already risking our lives and futures, for a cause. It seemed too ridiculous to be true.
I couldn't help feeling just a little bit angry that we were not relaxing, trying to figure out adulting, laughing, getting drunk, dating around, taking to traditional student traveling year and just being young.
But if we wanted the little human inside Lily to be safe, and have all these things with their friends, we had to make sacrifices.
I can't breathe.
My breath constricted in my throat.
2 weeks.
He told me it would take 1.
2 weeks.
Living right on the front line, where if anyone found out who he really was, he would be killed instantly.
2 weeks.
Lily had equipped him with a felly-toner or telly-foner, which he was using each night when he went out for walks around the dreary square I had been imprisoned my whole adolescence, where I had wanted to die.
2 weeks.
I missed my Moony's smell. The chocolate and coffee that relaxed me instantly. I hid in his closet and hugged his favorite jumper close, the cream chain knit one, the one he wore after fulls, the one he always wore to Hogsmeade, the one that comforted us all.
2 weeks.
I let the tears fall and sobs racked my fragile body. Eating no longer mattered since Prongs had told me where he was really going.
2 weeks.
The door to the coset was opened gently and James' sharp but kind face appeared above Wormy's owlish, round one. "Padfoot? We're coming in."
2 weeks.
James pulled me onto his lap and Wormy enveloped us both into a hug.
2 weeks.
"Wormy, Prongs, what if... if..." I couldn't finish.
2 weeks.
"No. We'd know, wouldn't we?"
2 weeks.
"Not necessarily. We might not... not... find..." I couldn't stop the new wave of sobs.
2 weeks.
"He's ok, Pads, he's going to be fine. He's a skilled occlumens."
2 weeks.
After five minutes that passed in a hazy blur of crying, I was rocking back and forth, and before I could stop, I threw up everywhere. "Pads! Oh, Pads! Come on, Lily's best at healing charms, her and Wormy can help you calm down." James' carried me downstairs and into the living room.
2 weeks.
"Siri! Come lay down a minute." Lily and Peter lay me down and made me drink a calming potion.
2 w-
Peace flooded my body and I shut my eyes for a minute.
I woke up to the phone ringing.
Moony.
We answered immediately.
There was a cacophony of noise from the other side, illegal curses and even worse.
His update was interrupted by yells and curses that I didn't even know he knew how to use.
I didn't listen, I just need him to be ok. He had to be ok.
He couldn't leave me.
I loved him.
Somehow he was still fighting, alive, against 20 death eaters.
I was too full of Adrenaline to cry, not now.
He kept us online for 5 minutes more, and I could tell he was beginning to tire, his breaths came in loud gasps, ragged and uneven.
A deranged scream of "AVADA KEDAVERA!" crackled across the line.
Bella.
The deadly curse was barely finished before I heard a bloodcurdling scream.
I was in shock.
There was a ringing in my ears.
I was beyond tears.
I felt like there was a dead weight in my stomach.
Keep breathing.
Keep breathing for Moony.
Why?
He was gone.
What was the point?
YOOOOO! Don't hate me I'm sorry.
THERE WILL BE A PART TWO! NEVER FEAR!
I'm sorry don't kill me for killing off my child it was hard for me as well. So... thoughts?
I've had this idea on my hands for a while and after like 5 rewrites - ITS HERE AND LOOK ITS IN A ONE SHOT BOOK HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
bye frens
- Ham x