Title: Right, Wrong and, Moral
Author: Mollisk
Pairing: None but some could be seen as House/Chase preslash and some anti!WilsonJulie and Wilson/whoever you feel like.
Rating: T (or PG-13, if you watch the show you won't be offended)
Warnings/Spoilers: No spoilers but if your easilyoffendedby catholic jokes or hate dialog fics.
Summary: House goes to Chase for advice.
Disclaimer: House is so not mine or anything else but the plot.
"Hey Chase!"
No answer.
"Blondie! Wombat! Puppy dog!" Chase reluctantly looked up from his charting and sighed.
"Yes Dr. House?"
The older doctor hobbled forward and stage whispered, "What do I do if I know my best friend disobeyed the fifth commandment?"
Chase raised an eyebrow quizzically, "He killed someone?"
"No, the seventh commandment."
"He stole something?"
House sighed dramatically. "No, the sixth commandment."
"He committed adultery?"
"Yeah."
"Well telling me is probably a bad idea."
"If I didn't it would be bearing false witness."
"No, gossiping is bearing false witness."
"But it's true!"
"It's part of tradition that not lying is sometimes keeping your mouth shut."
"My parents couldn't spell tradition."
"Your disobeying the fifth commandment."
"I am not checking you out!"
"The fifth commandment is respecting your parents."
"Oh, that makes sense too." House gave Chase a ridiculously obvious wink. "But I hunger and thirst for justice!"
"What justice will come out of you telling everyone?"
"That's not the right answer, you should have said 'You shall have your fill in heaven.'"
"Oh, Sorry."
"It's alright but what if his wife never finds out?"
"Wilson will tell her."
"How do you know? Are you screwing him too?
"Why do you even care if something is morally wrong or not?"
"I was trying to turn over a new leaf."
"Good Luck."
"Hey I can check you out morally."
"Who made you God?"
"Your not anyone's wife so I can covet you. Unless there's a special guy in your life I don't know about."
"They meant wife or husband-"
"I didn't know you and Cameron went that far."
"Or anyone that is not your wife!"
"So they're encouraging lesbians?"
"Or husband!"
"I tired of all this moral stuff."
"Really? I was just about to nominate you for Pope."
"Awww shucks Chasey-wasey but I couldn't stand going to Mexico and being called potato." Chase rolled his eyes. House continued, "On the other hand two negatives equal a positive."
"No they don't."
"What is -3 times -2?"
"Six."
"See?"
"This isn't math and we're not multiplying."
"Fine, when I say 'I am not not happy', I mean that I am happy."
"This isn't grammar either."
"But in the American Revolution there was the Quaker guy, Greene. He lost a few battles but won the campaign."
"Why would a Quaker go to war?"
"Are you afraid of the guy on the oatmeal box too?"
"You're avoiding the question, you made that up."
"No between you and me, I heard guns gave Greene pleasure."
"You really made that up."
House shrugged innocently. Behind him a middle-aged women interrupted them.
"Excuse me doctors?"
"Yes, how can I help you?" Chase replied, stepping in as the good doctor.
"Do you know where Dr. Wilson, the head of Oncology, is?" She replied nervously. Before Chase could reply, House cut in.
"Hi Julie!" The women seemed quite taken aback.
"Oh Greg House, um, it's nice to see you again." She pursed her lips with obvious disapproval.
"You're looking for Jimmy? I know right where he is." House led her to exam room two as Chase bit his lip and braced himself for impact.
The whole hospital must have heard the screams.
FIN!
A/N: I hope you like it! It's just a dialog fic that came into my head. I think this will stay a one-shot unless someone really wants me to continue.