Dave stood in front of John's blue door gripping a letter he laboriously worked on. He stood there nervous and unsure of whether to slide the letter into the mail box or give it to him personally. Dave sighed opting for the latter rather then the former, if he was going to confess he'd much rather do it in person then hide behind in the shadows.
Knocking on the door he took a deep breath as he nervously rubbed his hands together. His nerves were starting to get to him- wait what? This was Dave motherfucking Strider not some love struck high school girl crushing over a boy. Dave turned his back to the door as he waited, mentally calculating how fast he would have to run if John said no.
"Dave?" an all to familiar voice spoke out. Out stepped John, the adorable nerd in all his glory. Large blue eyes, slight over bite, the same bed head hair he always had no matter how long he worked on it.
"Sup Egbert." Dave started out coolly as his heart began to accelerate.
"Um, not wanting to be rude or anything but why are you here?" John inquired as he shuffled as little to the right.
"Well you see John," Dave took an other deep breath as he nervously scratched the back of his neck, "I need to give you something and I totally don't want you to flip your shit when you read it okay. Just to make it clear to you, don't make fun of it because you will hurt the small Strider feelings that are blooming in my ever growing garden of feelings. Second of all, I want you to read it right now, and I will not leave until you do so. So hurry up and read it okay." Dave nervously rambled as he presented the letter to John who took it nervously.
"Fuck, so much for staying cool." Dave muttered to himself as he crossed his arms across his chest.
"Did you say something Dave?" John asked as he paused in opening the letter midway. Dave motioned with a few quick flicks of his hand for John to proceed with the task at hand.
John smiled deviously as he took the paper that held Dave's ever so slightly sloppy hand writing. "Dear John," John began out loud only to pause. "Really Dave? What is this? The book Dear John?"
Dave shook his head not trusting voice at the moment. Shit, shit, shit. He's going to read it aloud, fuck I'm going to have to take off any second now. Dave thought nervously as John began reading again.
"The exasperation of love that I feel for you….you will never know. I have tried to prove it to you time and time again that you mean so much more to me. Every time I see you, I feel you falter and hesitate more than the time before. I can tell that you do not think twice before you address me. As your words are sometimes hurtful and cruel, but carefully chosen for other around you. You maybe my best friend, but you also mean more to me then you could possibly imagine. To me, you are so much more to the point where I have been scared to voice my feeling to anyone." John's voice grew weak as he drew in a shaky breath.
"That I shall never tell you, maybe I will in a few years…as to how much you mean to me. As foolish as it maybe, I have chosen this path and therefore have no right to complain as I watch you from afar. I have chosen to stay your friend…even if my feelings have sprouted wings and flown off despite my wishes. I have, encrypted in the messages that I have sent you; told you time and time again what you mean to me between the lines.
You are my best friend and you make my façade, that I have worked endlessly to create, crack. You have made me show you the true me. I have exposed myself in my most bare essence with you. You have seen me for who I am as a person; you alone have seen how truly fragile I am." John choked up as his voice grew a little stronger.
"You know what it is that I am like, weak and scared of my own emotions. My emotions that cause turmoil within myself, the turmoil that never dies down but only picks up more strength. It will not lie down and rest, but only threatens to burst. I fear the day it will actually burst and is no longer contained. This appalling secret of mine, which not even you have witnessed.
I pray. I pray desperately that the day I tell you…you will sit there and listen to me. Listen to your poor old friend spill their emotions that have been bottled up for 7 years about you. Hopefully. you will smile and not be to deleterious in the way you go about it. Hopefully, you will just smile and say what you really want to say and offer to be friends if you do not share the same feeling as me." John wiped his eyes as he read causing Dave's heart to race in anticipation for the answer to come.
With a wavering voice John continued, "Having you in my life, should suffice, however it does not. I want to mean something more to you then merely a friend. Though, if my feelings are one sided, in this unrequited love, I shall be more then happy with having you there in my life as a friend….even if I yearn for you." Dave stiffened as he saw a tear escape from behind John's glasses as he held the paper shakily in his hand as his other veiled his mouth slightly.
"I really wish, that you would look around yourself and see that there are people who love you, such as I, and hopefully you shall reciprocate my feelings; though that maybe not be the case I shall be glad to be in the background as a friend standing by you in life. Yours truly, Dave Strider. " John finished in a whisper as tears now freely flowed down his cheeks.
"John?" Dave asked tentatively after silence had engulfed the two. He tentatively stepped forward to take a good look at John's face. "Are you okay?"
John shook his head as he opened his arms to wrap around Dave. Dave hesitantly hugged him back not sure what to do with the currently situation on hand. John started to cry harder as his hold on Dave started to tighten.
"John?" Dave tentatively inquired again. "You alright man?"
John buried his head deeper into Dave's shirt as he continued to cry. Finally after what felt like forever John relinquished his hold on Dave. He pulled back with a sad smile. "Dave, I'm sorry." he whispered to the wind.
Dave blinked back rapidly as he tried to keep the onslaught of tears from coming. He wasn't going to cry, well at least not in front of John. "Still friends?" he offered.
John shook his head sadly as he began to cry again. "No Dave, not friends. Why," he faltered as he stifled a sob. "Why didn't you tell me this before?"
Dave was still in shock. He had confessed his feelings to John, got rejected, rejected for even being friends and now John was demanding that he tell him why he hadn't confessed?
"I didn't want to fuck up John. Everything I love always slips by like water through my fingers," he muttered quietly as he tried to keep the strain of emotion out of his voice. "I- I- I didn't - I didn't want to hurt you John. I didn't want to lose you too. It would have been to much." Dave told him through a shaky voice.
"Dave." John spoke in a shaky whisper as he stepped closer to Dave and put his hands on Dave's shoulders. "I really like you, you're a wonderful person. You're my best friend and you have been for a really long time. But- but you could do so much better then me Dave."
Dave looked at John wide eyed behind his aviators. "Better than you John?" John nodded defeated as he took a step back until Dave caught him by the shoulder. "John, you are the best. You are worth everything to me. You're worth more to me then anyone I know. No one can compare as to how much you mean to me. Please you have to believe me," Dave pleaded but John refused to meet Dave's eyes until he felt a hand placed under his chin forcing him to eventually look into those ever present shades.
"Dave?" John asked as he reached out to take Dave's aviators to obtain a better look at his eyes. He gasped as he saw the tears that Dave was holding back. "No, Dave don't cry." he pulled Dave in for a hug. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being insensitive about your feelings for me. I'm sorry for making you cry. I love you Dave. I love you so much but I don't know if I love you the way you love me."
"Why?" Dave asked as he leaned in slowly he brushed his lips against John's as he spoke. "What's stopping you?"
"Just…there's so much that I don't know about my own feelings Dave" John responded.
Dave leaned back, "You're still confused after 19 years of roaming this planet?"
"Not everyone is an early bloomer into their sexuality, Mr. Strider." John sassed as he leaned forward to lean his head onto Dave's shoulder.
"Then I'll wait John. I'll wait for eternity until you bloom, just for me." Dave told John as he pulled John into an embrace.
"Don't count on it being to long. I'm almost there I can feel it." John promised as he felt his heart accelerate.
"John?" he looked up as his name was called.
"Yeah?"
"I love you." Dave whispered as he leaned in to kiss John.
John pulled back momentarily before leaning in as well. It felt right when he kissed Dave, it hadn't felt so when he had kissed a girl…it just didn't. Somehow it was like Dave and him were meant to fit into one an other.
John pulled back for a much needed breath of air. "I love you too Dave."Finally something felt right, even if his entire life felt like it was falling apart.