Disclaimer: Transformers belongs to Hasbro. The Real Ghostbusters are based on characters created by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis.

Road Hazard

(A little bit of crossover crack!fic by Lucidscreamer)

Peter Venkman stared up at what had, up until a few minutes ago, been a vintage ambulance. With gleaming white armor and a no-ghost logo on one massive shoulder, the giant robot (now standing almost twenty feet tall) almost seemed to be wearing a parody of their jumpsuit uniforms.

Clutching his proton rifle in one hand, Peter gestured with the other to the massive machine. "Now there's something you don't see every day."

"What did that thing do to Ecto-1?" Ray demanded, offended on behalf of his 'baby,' as he got his first real look at the Ghostbusters' former means of transportation.

He had no idea what the 'thing' in question was, though Peter's first guess involved the words 'possessed' and/or 'alien'. Possibly also 'evil', though that one was still up for grabs. All he really knew for sure was that it, whatever it was, brought inanimate objects to life, (and left them armed to the teeth). The belligerence of the other normally inanimate objects affected by the thing's passage - especially the soda machine, which was still firing carbonated rounds at everything in sight - gave some credence to the theory that the thing that had triggered the transformation was, if not actually evil, then at the very least ungood.

"Man, this is the last time I let you talk me into a car show in Mission City, Ray." Winston shaded his eyes and focused on the scene several stories above them.

Peter followed Winston's gaze and grimaced. Great. More giant robots, most of which didn't look like they were interested in making friends with the neighbors. Somehow, the exploding missiles and laser-gun blasts just didn't scream 'welcome wagon' from where he was standing.

"Duck!" Egon yelled, as a ton of falling marble - knocked off a building by the impact of a giant robot (and, man, even for something made of metal, that had to hurt) - plummeted straight for them. They all dove for cover, even knowing it was useless. There was simply no time to get out of the path of the debris and, even if there had been time, there was no safe place to run. The entire street was a war zone.

A few seconds later, Peter cautiously peered out from beneath the laughably inadequate shield of his raised arms… and discovered that not only had he and the guys escaped being flattened like cheap pancakes, but also that Ecto-1 was crouched over them, using her body to deflect the chunks-o-building. He found himself grinning up at the ambulance-cum-robot - and got the distinct impression that Ecto was smiling right back at him, despite her lack anything even remotely resembling a mouth. She did, however, have two, remarkably expressive, blue eyes.

"What do you say, Peter?" Ray's grin threatened to split his face. "Can we keep her?"

"Hell, Ray. After this, I'm buying her the best car wash money can buy."

"And a tank full of premium," Egon added, the corners of his mouth twitching upward. For Egon, that qualified as practically manic beaming.

"You know-" Winston clapped his hand on Ray's shoulder and smiled up at Ecto. "-I always did think there was more to the old girl than meets the eye."

-o0o-

Note: Yeah, okay, I know that the All Spark seemed to only create insane, combative Transformers. But this crossover plunny sank its fangs into me and wouldn't let go until I wrote it, so let's just pretend it makes sense. Ecto-1 has no doubt been exposed to enough ectoplasm to have formed a rudimentary sentience all on her own, so maybe that influenced what happened? (Waves artistic license while wearing hopeful grin.) Hope you enjoyed the crack!fic.