'Bec, where are you taking me' Chloe huffs, as her determined girlfriend pulls her out of the car.
'Just wait, I want to show you something' she replies, grabbing her hand hurriedly as she leads her around the corner from their usual Chinese restaurant.
'But..food'
'Food after, this first'.
It had been running around in her mind since the moment she saw it, the last time they were here. Full of Chinese food and too early to head back to the dorm; they had decided to take a walk around the city they knew so little of. Hand in hand, drowsy and full, they walked in comfortable silence, listening to the sounds of the city and admiring the shopfront windows in the dimly lit street.
It was then when Beca saw it. In a window of a second hand music shop, there it stood. It only took one glance to bring it back, all the emotions and memories like a punch to the stomach. A symbol of her past, the good years, the only good years. Standing there, beckoning her, whispering sentiments that brought so many emotions. Too many, hard hitting emotions. And then, it was gone. Her gaze shifted to the next shop window, and Chloe never suspected anything.
Ever since that night she had wanted to tell her, waited for the right moment to reveal a little more, peel back a layer of her past. But it never came. So when her innocent girlfriend had suggested that Chinese place Beca had craftily made them avoid for weeks, she knew it was time to show her. No matter how hard it was, no matter how insecure she was, she deserved to know.
'Seriously, I'm going to starve Bec, can we please go eat?' Chloe whined. Beca stopped suddenly, pulling the older woman in front of her, looking her straight in her deep blue eyes. The sudden pull startled Chloe. 'Please, this..I just, Chlo, I need to show you this', and it was enough to make the older women willingly be lead into the quiet music shop.
Rows and rows of formerly loved guitars stared back at her, colours ranging from wood stained to bright fluoro, begging to be played, loved, taken down from the dust-filled walls they had been hanging to for too long. Beca felt it, felt the emotions come back, edging past her walls and breaking through them. She felt the possibilities, the sounds that could be made out of one strum, begging her to continue.
'So...' Chloe started, waiting for an explanation as she stared at her girlfriend's reaction to the shop, 'why are we here?'
'Just, wait one sec'. Beca hurried over to the store keeper who had been watching them curiously since they walked in. A large man, clad in all black, playing around with the tuners on the counter, he waited for the short girl to ask him for help.
'The one at the front', Beca started to say 'the worn in Ibanez. May I..please..may I please see it?'
Nodding, the owner went around the counter to the window display, grabbing the guitar and a spare lead and plugging it into a nearby amp. 'It's all yours' he said, handing the guitar over to the nervous Beca. She sat down on a stool, positioning the guitar in her lap, a feeling so foreign yet so natural. Chloe watched closely, grabbing a stool next to Beca, curious of where her girlfriend was going with this. Bursting the odd silence, she started explaining slowly.
'A few years before my parents divorced, my dad taught me to play'. Chloe nodded, waiting for her girlfriend to continue. 'It was the only time in my teenage years that I felt I had a connection to my father, which was... nice, considering what was happening with my parents. It only lasted a short time, but those few years...I found my sound. My purpose. My love for something I didn't even know I loved. All because my dad walked by a guitar shop, and let me choose a guitar.'
It was obvious to Chloe that this was hard for her girlfriend to tell her, and hearing the younger women struggling to continue, she prompted her. 'I didn't even know you played?'
Beca looked up, startled from her thoughts. 'That's because I haven't, for years.' She continued 'after the separation, and the eventual divorce years later, playing just brought up too many good memories that didn't sit well with how I was feeling at the time. I just..it was too hard. People kept telling me to pick it up again, they insisted I was good enough to do something with it, but I just couldn't. I know it sounds stupid, people get divorced all the time, and with the state my parents were in it shouldn't have affected me so much. But it did, and I'm allowed that, right? I just, I found another outlet for my music, years later, and my emotions through mixing songs together, which I guess reflected how I felt. Mixed together. With parents but without a family. I haven't even thought about my first guitar since I started mixing. Until last month, the last time we were here, when..'
'Wait, is that what happened when you walked past this store last time'
'What?'
'I felt you hesitate, your pulse sped up; I felt it in your hand, as we walked past this shop. I thought it was nothing, so I left it.'
'I didn't know..'
'You should know by now that nothing gets past me, Bec' she said, smiling at her girlfriend, realising the gravity of what she was telling her. 'So', she paused, wanted to ask so many questions but not knowing the boundaries 'why did you decided to tell me this now?'
'Because...this is it. This was my guitar, this very one, this was the guitar that started my passion for music.' She looked down at her former guitar, a little rough around the edges but still doing fine. A bit like her really. 'I eventually sold it, it was a reminder of something, of love and hate. So I sold it to pay for DJ equipment. Somehow', she paused, struggling to catch up with her thoughts as she tried to think through the emotions, 'somehow it ended up here, waiting for me to find it again'.
Chloe took a closer look at the guitar, noticing the warn out strings, peeling blue stain over the mahogany wood, realising that this was a part of her girlfriends past. She was seeing something, another side of Beca, she had been given this new layer to her that meant so much. A feeling spread through her chest, a warmth as she looked at Beca, admiring the younger woman's ability to keep herself together, but then seeing through her walls, to her emotions, as a tear ran down her cheek. Beca was letting her in, and it made her feel...God she loved her.
'It just, seeing it here brought back so many feelings and emotions. It made me realise where I started from, where my passion started from. This guitar represented a past version of myself, and for so long I hated that at one stage in my life I could be so happy, when I just felt so...well, not happy. Then it made me think about you.'
'Me?' Chloe exclaimed.
'Um, yeah. It made me realise how good you've been to me, how much you have changed me. For the better', she added quickly, as if she was saying things as they came to her, so unlike her usual filtered words. 'It made me realise that you brought out in me what I used to be. How I used to be. Before I changed. The me who spend hours playing and practicing on this very guitar. She's back, and it's all because of you. I'm happy again, because I love you.'
When Beca finished, she looked up at Chloe, tears running down her face, only to find the older woman tearing up just as much as she was. Even when she was crying she looked beautiful. There was no going back now.
'I love you Chlo, I really do. This guitar made me realise it, but I've known it all along. I'm just sorry it's taken me so long to catch up'.
They stared at each other, no wanting to ruin the moment that had been created. Beca knew Chloe loved her, she had said it before many times, not needing to hear it back. But this, this was...this was Beca. This is what she loved about her. Guarded and mysterious, but break through those walls and this is what you get. Love.
It felt like it had been hours, looking into each others eyes, realising the gravity of the moment and the words that had been said. The feelings that had been felt. Knowing that this was it, this was truely perfect. Until Chloe's stomach let out a sound similar to that of a dying whale, breaking the perfect silence.
They both started to giggle. 'Ok Chlo, I get it. Time for food' Beca said through a huge smile. Giving the guitar back to the owner, they made their way out of the music shop, feeling a sense of wholeness as they walked to the restaurant, bumping purposely into each other, drunk with satisfying emotions.
'Thank you, for telling me. Everything. I love you.' Chole finally exclaimed, looking at her girlfriend.
'Love you too'
A week later, Beca stumbled into her dorm room after a tiring philosophy class. Glad that Kimmy wasn't around, she chucked her books on her bed and sat down, checking her phone for messages. As she looked up, slightly bored, she saw it. The shining blue body, sticking out from the corner of the room, edges warn smooth but still going strong. Her guitar. She walked up to it, feeling a sense of awe, knowing that it could only be from one person, one person that would go back to the shop where it all started and actually buy the guitar that made her realised her true feelings. There was a note on the neck, and written in the cursive only belonging to a certain red-head were the words 'I love you. Let's jam together.'