Professor Lupin. Professor Lupin. That's going to take some getting used to.
He's never had a title before. He's always been Remus or Lupin or a bunch of other names he doesn't really care to recall, but this title is his definite first, and by far his favourite.
He walks into the staff room just as James is walking out. Nowadays, with James busy with Potions, Lily focusing on Herbology, and Sirius on Astronomy, they haven't got time for anything other than a simple "hello" in passing during the weekdays. It pains him to feel the time spent with his best friends reducing. He hasn't seen Peter since he went off to work in Diagon Alley four months ago.
James smiles at him as he walks away; a gentle smile, that which conveys a you've got this. Remus smiles back and stands up straighter.
He's got this.
Walking into the staff room, he sees Lily at the table, marking essays.
'Evening, Lily,' he greets her as he puts down his briefcase on the floor next to the chair on Lily's right.
She doesn't look up as she dips her quill into her red ink. 'Evening, Professor.' He gets a chill down his spine. 'How are things?'
He sighs as he sits and fills his coffee mug. 'Still getting used to this whole professor shebang. It's… keeping me on my toes.' He doesn't know how else to put the feeling of "I've never felt overwhelmed by school before and it's like I don't know what I'm doing except that I do" because it gets confusing sometimes, even for him, and it's his head the thoughts are coming from.
Lily finally meets his eyes, her quill hovering centimetres above the parchment. She gives him a warm smile, the kind of smile he's used to seeing when either of them need a friend – someone who's not their husbands – to talk about everything and nothing with. 'You'll get used to it, Re,' she says confidently. 'My first week was difficult too. But then you get into a routine of plan lessons, mark papers, hand out homework, control the kids. It'll become second nature, trust me.'
Remus hums in response, taking a sip of coffee. 'I just hope I don't fail them.'
Lily puts down her quill but before she can respond, McGonagall enters the room, eyebrow raised, a quizzical look on her face. 'Professor Lupin, did I just hear you say that you are worried about failing your students?'
'Not just worried, Minerva,' breathes Remus forlornly. Fucking terrified.'
He can't meet her eyes. He knows he's spewing bullshit, he knows that this is irrational. And yet, his brain continues to whir, making this seem like the worst possible situation that he could be in.
'Remus Lupin, you are talking nonsense, young man,' says Minerva.
Remus scoffs, and even Lily stifles a laugh. It suddenly feels like he's a student again and he's getting his ass kicked for failing to come up with a valid reason for the Marauders' misbehaviour.
'You have not failed a student yet–'
He gives the Transfiguration professor a deadpanned stare. 'It's hardly been a full term, Minnie. There's plenty more time to fuck up.'
'I think what Minnie's trying to say,' Lily pipes in, 'is that she's pretty sure that you won't fail. You haven't failed yet and we believe that you won't.'
Remus is at a loss for words. 'I–'
Lily's hand rests atop his own. 'Hey,' she says. He looks her in the eye. 'You've bloody got this, Professor. You'll be the greatest Defence Against the Dark Arts professor Hogwarts has ever had.'
Remus wants to laugh. Him? The greatest? Never.
He's not the greatest. He's… just Remus. Definitely not the greatest. Just Professor Remus Lupin.
'Thanks for the belief,' he tells her, honestly. 'We'll see what happens.'
Lily beams at him, taking her hand away. 'We shall,' she says.
With that, both Lily and Minerva turn to their previous tasks, and Remus is left to ponder.
He and Lily have been friends since third year and she's never once stopped believing in him. He's made it this far. If she believes he can do it, then so can he.
He can do this.