Hello everyone! Thank you for all of your support for One Cider Too Many! I really appreciate everyone who read the fic, and especially everyone who took the time to leave a review! Reviews are incredibly strong motivators for me to continue writing, and I encourage everyone to take a moment to leave one. (If you have any story ideas, leave them with me and maybe they'll become a oneshot!)
This fic was inspired by my best friend, who was recently placed under anesthesia in order to have her wisdom teeth removed. She said it made her act… odd.
Regina's black Mercedes rolled up to the curb, stopping abruptly. She was parked outside of Storybrooke's dentist office, waiting to pick up Emma Swan post wisdom teeth removal. She wasn't sure how she got suckered into collecting the town's Sheriff from the dentist's, but after persistent pleading from David at the ever-so-busy police station, there she was.
She saw Emma walk out of the dentist's office, mouth puffy and eyes cloudy. Bruises were already starting to form along Emma's cheeks, and she looked worse for wear.
"Get in Ms. Swan," Regina called abruptly.
She was annoyed at the prospect of being the woman's chauffer, but there was really no way Emma could have driven home safely after her procedure. Truthfully Regina had nothing better to do with her time, and she was getting quite bored with the mountains of paperwork that she was completing at her office. She figured that a little fresh air wouldn't hurt anyone, and it would put her in stronger standing with the Charmings. So, at precisely 11:45 am she grabbed her keys and drove to pick up Emma.
Emma saw her and waved, walking over to the car. She ripped open the door to the Mercedes and plopped in, staring at Regina unfocusedly.
"Hi Gina!" She beamed, mouth full of cotton.
Regina squinted at her, even more annoyed than she previously was.
"Excuse me? Who is Gina?"
Emma's stare changed from unfocused to confused. She tilted her head and pointed at Regina.
"You're Gina! Regina Mills, Mayor of Storybrooke! Madame Mayor, Miss Mills, and Gina! At least those are all the names I have for you?" Emma stared upwards questioningly, and began mouthing names and counting on her fingers.
Regina stared, unsure what to think. "Well the anesthesia clearly hasn't worn off yet. I have to put up with this for how long? 20 minutes? Why does she have to live so far!"
She took a breath and put a hand up.
"We're hardly on a first name basis Ms. Swan. If you insist on being informal with me, at least call me Regin-"
"I know!" Emma exclaimed, cutting off Regina. "I'm going to call you Reggie!"
Regina's nostrils flared, and she could feel a migraine coming on at full force.
"Reggie?!" Regina spluttered, fuming. "That was your alternative to Regina?"
Emma leaned back and laughed, clearly enjoying Regina's flustered state.
"Reggie suits you! Suits suit you! I'm so out of it right now!"
"You're insufferable!" Regina huffed, rolling her eyes. "She likes my pantsuits…?"
Emma wiped the tears out of her eyes and gradually regained her breath. She gently patted her swollen mouth. Her expression morphed from euphoric to painful, and she looked at Regina with concern.
"Reggie, my face hurts! What happened?"
Regina slowed to a stop at a red light and tapped the steering wheel impatiently.
"You had all four of your wisdom teeth removed, remember? You were under anesthesia for awhile. Why do you think I came to pick you up? You're clearly incapable of going home by yourself."
Emma looked at Regina blankly, processing what she said. Her eyes widened with abject horror.
"I had my wisdom teeth removed…? They... took my teeth! I want them back!"
"What do you mean you 'want them back'? Your teeth were overgrown and causing you pain. Why on Earth would you want them? And for the last time, stop calling me Reggie!"
Emma huffed and crossed her arms, folding them on her chest. She looked to Regina like a toddler who had been denied their favorite toy.
"They would look cool in a jar." She pouted.
After a few minutes of driving in silence, broken occasionally by Emma gently humming, Emma turned to Regina again, leaning over and staring at her. Regina glanced at her out of the corner of her eye, noticing the Sheriff's close proximity to her.
"Now what do you want?"
"You have pretty eyes Gina. Did you know that? They look like chocolate. I love chocolate." She licked her lips suggestively.
Regina raised an eyebrow and turned away, a slight blush forming on her cheeks.
"Astute observation Ms. Swan," She snarked, purposefully focusing more intently on the road. "I have brown eyes. Any other riveting discoveries?"
Emma leaned further, her body resting on the side of Regina's seat.
"Well, you have beautiful eyes, a cute mouth, and your teeth are super straight and white. I like looking at your face. You're gorgeous."
Regina's blush deepened as she processed what Emma had said. She might as well have picked Emma up from a bar, she was acting so ridiculous.
"… Thank you for the complement Emma. I'm happy that you enjoy my face."
"You're welcome! Have I told you how hot you look in your work clothes? If you think your eyes are nice, imagine what your body does to me."
Regina smiled nervously, fearing that the conversation would turn somewhere that she wasn't comfortable to venture. In truth she dressed provocatively to see if she could get a rise out of Emma, and it appeared to be working. There were countless times that she caught the Sherriff ogling her, and that only inspired her to wear her skirts tighter and her shirts further unbuttoned. At least her efforts weren't in vain, she thought to herself.
Emma grinned and tucked a piece of Regina's hair behind her ear. She hovered close to her, looking like she had an infamous secret to tell.
She looked around shiftily, and whispered in Regina's ear.
"You have nice boobies."
Regina smacked her forehead, positive that she was leaving a mark. Whatever mood Emma set was completely ruined.
"Thank you Emma," she growled through gritted teeth. Now sit back!"
"It's only 5 more minutes with her. 5 minutes!"
Regina pulled over next to Emma's apartment, having finally reached her destination. After a few moments of helping an unsteady Emma up the stairs and searching her pockets for her keys they made it into the apartment, bursting through the door. Emma held onto Regina shakily, stumbling over to the couch. She plopped down onto it and brought her knees up to her chest, hugging them.
"Gina I'm cold," She announced. "Can you get me a blanket? There's a blue one in the closet."
Regina nodded and walked over to grab the blanket, wondering why she hadn't hightailed out of the apartment already. Lunch can take a few more minutes, she thought to herself.
She saw it above Emma's coatrack and reached up to grab it, tipping over a large box in the closet. A piece of cloth fell out of it, and draped over her head. She plucked it off of her head, not really looking at it. With the blanket in hand and the cloth, she walked over to Emma.
"Here you are Em-" she started, holding out the blanket and looking down at her hand.
Regina shrieked and threw the blanket at Emma, snatching her hand away. The 'random piece of cloth' that fell on her happened to be a pair of silken red panties, and Regina was not expecting that.
"Oh hey, I was looking for those!" Emma exclaimed, snatching up the undergarment and putting it in her pocket. "Thanks for finding them!"
Regina looked at her and stepped back. She took a deep breath.
"Why was I accosted by lingerie? In what reality does this happen? Why are they in a box on top of your closet?"
Emma shrugged nonchalantly and snuggled under the blanket.
"I have to hide them," she stated plainly. "Mary Margret looks through my drawers when she cleans. If you're offended by that I wouldn't look in the rest of that box. I keep some other… fun stuff in there."
Regina curled her lip, knowing exactly what Emma meant. She could hear a faint buzzing coming from the closet, and she didn't want to investigate.
"Please keep your belongings to yourself Emma. I don't want to see them. Now, is there anything else you need help with?"
"Ice would be nice. My mouth still hurts!"
Regina grabbed a glove, filled it with ice, and brought it to Emma. She pressed it against her face and sighed happily, enjoying the cold.
"Thank you, Gina, you're the best! I don't need anything else. Enjoy the rest of your lunch!"
She grinned at the Mayor and then winced at the pain of the motion.
"Oww."
Regina offered her a soft smile, having warmed up considerably to the blonde. Despite her aggravating presence in the town, she really meant no harm to Regina, and she was starting to realize that. Besides, the woman acted like a puppy, and she brought an invigorating energy wherever she went.
"Goodbye Emma. Feel better, okay?"
She turned to leave the apartment, striding towards the door. As she turned the lock on the knob, she heard a small 'yes!' from Emma.
Regina raised a brow and looked back at Emma.
"What was that about?" She wondered aloud.
"David owes me 10 bucks!" Emma exclaimed triumphantly.
"Why is that?"
"He told me that I wouldn't be able to get you to smile when you came to get me. And I did. So, I win."
Regina stared.
"You haven't been high on anesthesia this whole time?"
"No I haven't been, but I knew you'd never open up to me otherwise. I really enjoy your company you know. Aside from the times where you're trying to bite my head off."
Regina rolled her eyes and started to close the door behind her. She felt fortunate that her face was turned away from Emma, so that she couldn't see the grin forming.
"One last thing!" Emma called.
"What?" Regina asked.
"I really like it when you call me Emma. It makes me happy. Goodbye Regina."
"Good luck with that prospect." Regina snarked, closing the door behind her in a swift motion. The snarky comment had less bite behind it than usual, and
Maybe I'll start to develop a soft spot for Ms. Swan, she thought, striding down the hallway.
No, not Ms. Swan.
Emma.
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