A Christmas in Panem
A little bit late, but I hope you still enjoy my story :) a bit based on the movie "A Princess for Christmas". I hope you had a merry Christmas and I wish you a great 2016!
"Auntie Katniss?" I hear Willow's soft voice ask. It reminds me of her mother's: my little sister Prim.
"Yes Willow?" I walk into her room. She is sitting on the ground with a box of pictures in front of her. Pictures from her mother, when she was younger.
"I found this in your closet."
"Why were you in my closet?"
The 6 year old blushes. "I was looking for a dress. To play a princess."
I smile. "You know, you can just ask me, right?"
"Yeah," she blushes.
"Well, let me take a look at what you found."
"It are pictures. I think they are from mama."
"They are. From when your mother were younger. And me."
"Can we look at them?"
"Of course." She deserves to see these pictures of her mother. To see how beautiful she was. With a beating heart, I open the box. The first picture is a photograph of my little family from the past. My smiling mother, my loving father and my sweet little sister next to me. It hurts that I'm the only one who is still alive. That they all went too soon.
"Are they my grandparents?" Willow points to my parents.
"Yes."
"You look like grandpa."
I smile. She talks of them like they are still here. "I know. And Prim, eh, I mean your mother, looks more like your grandma. So do you."
"Really?"
"Really."
"But then I look beautiful!"
I kiss her cheek. Willow is such a sweet girl. Just like her mother.
"You are. You are a princess."
She blushes and my heart melts. Then, her 12 year old brother walks into the room.
"Hi Julius," I smile. "How was it at James'?"
"Fun. It was too cold to play football outside, so we went gaming inside. What are you doing?"
"I found a box with old pictures!" Willow says enthusiasticly. "From mama and aunt Katniss."
The boy smiles, but I see it is forced. "I would like to see them too."
He sits down next to me and I put my hand on his shoulder. Then I take the next picture. Me and Gale, a childhood friend.
"Who is that boy?" Julius points to Gale. "Your boyfriend?"
"Ahhhhhw that is so cute! Are you going to get married? I want a pretty dress too then," Willow says and I laugh.
"No, this is Gale. A friend from my childhood. Actually, I haven't seen him in 10 years, since his wedding."
"Are you going to marry?" Willow asks.
"Maybe in the future."
"Are there also pictures from my father?" Julius asks suddenly.
That makes me think. I know who his father was. Rye Mellark, son of a duke somewhere in the UK. Prim met him when she was travelling there and fell in love. She started living in Europe and even though she wasn't a member of nobility, they had a relationship and were engaged. But then, right after Willow was born, Rye died because he was ill and Prim returned to Amercia and raised the children by her own. It was hard, but Prim was one of the strongest people I know, one of the most loving mothers out there and she could handle it. But then that horrible car accident happened on Christmas Eve, while she was driving home from her work, to her children who where at my place. She died and I took care of her two beloving children, without a doubt.
But I don't have pictures of Rye Mellark, not that I know. I haven't even met the man my sister was planning to marry.
"I will look for it," I say to Julius. He nods.
I look at my two children. "Guys, I... I think it is time to have a real Christmas. It is in two weeks and... You deserve it."
"A real one?" Willow asks.
"Yes. You know, Aunt Katniss was a bit sad everytime with Christmas but I think this year we should really celebrate it. It is the most wonderful time of the year, after all."
"I think it is a good idea," Julius smiles. "Mom always loved Christmas. I miss her."
"Me too," I say. I miss her everyday.
"Are we going to have a tree?" Willow asks.
"Sure," I laugh. "Tomorrow we will buy one." I check my watch. "But first I should make dinner now, before we eat at midnight."
"Can we watch the rest of the pictures?" Julius asks.
"Of course. But be careful."
"Has Willow finally stopped singing?" Julius sighs when he walks into my bedroom. It is 9PM and I am checking my emails. Maybe someone has replied on my letter of application. I hope so. Being fired right before Christmas and having two children to take care of, is not something that brings me happiness.
I laugh. "Yes, half an hour ago. Is your homework done?"
"Yes. Was not that much."
"Good. Just a few more days before you have your break."
I look at my computer. No reply on any of my letters. Just an email from Panem Castle, spam. I don't have enough money to go on a holiday in a castle. I sigh.
"Oeh, a castle," Julius says. "Willow would love that. And me too, actually. Castles are beautiful. Can you open it?"
"Sure," I sigh and when I open it, it is not a holiday offer. It is a real email from someone who lives in a castle.
And then I remember it. Panem. Panem Castle. Rye.
This is an email from the Mellark family.
"Julius, this is..."
"A real letter! From my father's family! They are inviting us to come over!"
I see the enthusiasm in his eyes and I look down. "Jule, we don't have enough money for airpla..."
"Can't you read? George Mellark is..."
"You mean, your grandfather..."
"My grandfather is going to pay! Please Aunt Katniss, can we go? We could have a real vacation to Europe and spend Christmas in a castle with family and..."
"We do it."
"It is snowing here!" Willow says a week later with a bright smile. "I love the other side of the ocean!"
"Willow, get in the cab!" I laugh and the little girl with two blonde braids gets in the cab, next to her blonde brother. When we are all settled, the taxi starts driving. The landscape is beautiful here and because of the snow surrounding us, it looks like a real fairy tale. There are little villages on the tops of the hills, or in the vallies. And then, in a valley next to a river, I see the castle we are going to. And I may sound like a little girl, but I feel very excited. I understand why Prim wanted to go to Europe so badly. And I regret that I was so selfish to want that she would stay with me. I look at my cousins and their bright smiles make my heart shine inside.
I can hear my footsteps when I walk in the entrance hall of Panem Castle, and I am not even wearing heels. Willow already starts running over the marble floor, but Julius stops her.
"Willow, watch out! This is an old place, you have to be careful not to break anything here."
"Good afternoon," a maid says, who welcomes us. She is wearing a black dress with a white apron, like she just walked out of a movie set. But she is friendly and I guess she is just a few years younger than me.
"Are you a princess?" Willow asks. "Because you look like one and you live in a castle."
The maid blushes. "No." She gives Willow her hand. "My name is Sophie. And how can I call you, beautiful girl?"
"Willow. And this is Julius and this is auntie Katniss."
"I will call Peeta. It was his idea to invite you here. Give me a minute. Make yourself at home."
I take my coat off and then I see a blonde man walking into the hall.
"Ah, you made it!" he says with a British accent. His eyes are incredible blue and I can't stop staring at them. I've never seen eyes being so blue before. For someone who lives in a castle, he is wearing casual clothes. A pair of jeans and a grey sweater. But you can see he is different, a member from nobility. It is a kind of posture he has, I guess. Or I just feel it.
"Hello," I say. "My name is Katniss Everdeen. I..."
"Peeta Mellark. It's my pleasure." He looks to Julius and Willow.
"Willow and Julius," he smiles. "You two have grown so much!"
"You are my uncle!" Julius says. "I think I remember you!"
"Are you a prince?" Willow asks and I laugh.
Peeta laughs too, and he may look a bit formal and, yes, stiff, but his laugh sounds true and fair.
"Eh, well, I live in a castle. Would you two like to check it out?"
"Yes!" Willow says and Julius takes her hand.
"Stay together!" I call to them, but they are already gone, exploring Panem.
Peeta smiles at them. "What a beautiful pair they are."
In myself, I laugh a little because of his accent. It sounds adorable. "They are," I say. "I love them with whole my heart."
"I am glad you made it. It is nice to have family around. It took years to convince my father."
"Why?" I ask.
"The loss of my brother was hard for him. And so was Prim's. He adored her. Everyone did here."
I look at the ground. "I understand. She was a wonderful person."
"She absolutely was. Christmas was always a special day here, but after Rye died and Prim returned to America, it hasn't been celebrated. I thought it would be time to celebrate again. With his grandchildren. And you, though I didn't know you, only because of stories." He smiles.
"You know, I thought it was time too, for them, to celebrate Christmas again. Prim was a huge fan of it."
"Rye too. Me too. I love Christmas."
"Me too," I laugh. Then I smile. "Thank you, for inviting us. It will be the Christmas they have ever had."
"I hope so," Peeta says. "And I hope for you too. Losing your younger sister and taking care of her children... It must have been tough sometimes for you. I hope this will be a great Christmas for you too."
And before I can say anything, he walks away. This man doesn't even know me and shows more respect than anyone I've ever met, except for my sister. I look around me. I guess it is time for me to discover this castle as well.
"So this is my room for the rest of the two weeks?" I ask Sophie, who walked along with me.
"Yes. Willow and Julius will also have a room at this side of the castle. Do you like it, Miss Everdeen?"
"Oh, please call me Katniss. And this room is beautiful, too beautiful for me," I laugh nervously. Because I am nervous. I will meet a man of nobility in an hour or something.
"You are beautiful, if I may say that. And so does mr. Mellark," Sophie says proudly but then puts her hands for her mouth. "Oh, I am sorry!"
"Mr. Mellark and I haven't even met yet," I chuckle. "But thank you for giving me confidence."
"It were his son's words," Sophie says. "But don't tell anyone."
"I won't," I promise her, feeling flattered that a man as handsome as Peeta called me beautiful.
"I don't think his girlfriend Deliah would like it when she hears it. Though, maybe she would finally leave him. He doesn't deserve a girl who only loves his title. Oh, I shouldn't have said that. Oh, I am needed in the kitchen. See you at dinner! Sorry I talk a lot, don't I?"
"Well..."
"Sorry. I just feel comfortable with you. With everyone here. Lovely people, all of them. You should meet the rest of the staff soon. Bye!" And the maid leaves me alone, full with questions.
"So, Katniss, all the way from America. You took care of my grandchildren?" Mr. Mellark says.
"Yes, sir," I say. We are in the dinning room: mr. Mellark, Julius, Willow, Peeta and me. The dinning room is the size of my whole appartement. The walls are dark red with golden details and some paintings. Impressionism style. I know a very little about art, but I know what impressionism looks like because it is my favourite. My sister has been to the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam while she was traveling and sent me pictures. I loved it.
"It's lovely to see you two again," he smiles at Julius and Willow.
"I don't know you," Willow says. "Not really," she adds quickly.
"You look a lot like your mother," he says to Willow. Then he turns to Julius. "And you look so much like my son." He sighs.
"It is good to have you here," Peeta says. "We are going to celebrate a wonderful Christmas."
"Oh yes," his father says. "You can ask me anything. I have missed you."
"Why did you let us down?" Julius asks.
"Jule!" I say and I see pain in Mr. Mellark's eyes.
"No, no it is okay. I..." He stands up. "I'm sorry." And he walks away.
I look at Julius. "Why?"
"He did, didn't he?
"Mr. Mellark have had a hard time too," I say. "Your father was his son."
Julius looks down and I know he does that when he is feeling guilty.
"You can apologize to him," I say, stroking over his back. "And start being friends with him. He is your grandfather!"
"I just..."
"I understand you felt that way, but he had his reasons. And now he did invite you here."
Julius stands up. "I will apologize right now. Thank you aunt Katniss."
"I want to be friends with grandpa too!" Willow says and stands up too. Julius laughs.
"Come along then." And my niece and nephew leave the dinning room.
"You are doing a good job," Peeta says suddenly. Right. He was here too.
"You learn fast enough."
"I believe that." He looks at me and I am trying not to drown into this blue eyes of this man who already has a girlfriend.
The next morning, while my nice and nephew are already busy with their snowfight in the garden, I am walking through the palace, looking for mr. Mellark. I want to talk to him. I feel like I have to do that, after yesterday.
The castle is quiet. The sun shines through every window and I wonder what this place would be like in summer. I discovered yesterday that there were woods behind the castle. How great would it be to hunt in a senery like that. I can imagine all the flowers in the garden. Roses for sure. Primroses even, maybe.
If I were a kid, the first thing I would do here is play hide and seek, because this castle is huge and right now it feels like mr. Mellark is hiding and I have to find him.
The staff, like Sophie said yesterday, is nice. Everyone I have met here have been nothing but friendly and warm. It is wonderful how people can make you feel at home in a place like this, where everyone is wearing beautiful dresses or clothes and I walk around in a pair of ripped jeans and a hoodie.
Something catches my eye. A bow and arrow, there, on the wall. I walk to it, take it. This is a real bow and arrow, like my father used to make for me. When I was younger, he taught me how to hunt and to use it. It has been my passion for a long time, but when he passed away, my passion did too.
What would it be like to hunt again... To walk into the woods, to bend the bow, focus and shoot while the leafs are surrounding me and making crisping noises under my boots. I look at the bow in my hand and I just can't resist to bend it, just a little... Not shooting, just a little bit...
Pang. It broke.
Shit.
"What was..." the wellknown British accent says. Peeta walks into the hall. He stops in front of me.
"I'm SO sorry," I say. "Really. God. I'm so sorry. I will buy a new one, I promise. I bet this must be an expensive one... Yeh. Yep. Pretty expensive. A month no more Starbucks for me haha. Ha. Ha..."
"It was an accident," Peeta says and he grabs the bow and arrow. He looks at them and is quiet for a while. "No one hunts here anymore. So I guess they won't notice."
I look at him in awe because he looks at me, saying these things and his eyes are so blue.
"I won't say a thing," he says and his eyes won't leave mine.
"Thank you. That is really kind of you."
"My Peter is so kind, aren't you? Prince Peter William Mellark of Panem!" A blonde woman, no, lady, walks into the hall and kisses him on his lips.
"Can you stop calling my title the whole time," Peeta says.
"I just love titles. And you." She kisses him again and this time he kisses her back. And I don't know why, but it makes me feel uncomfortable.
"And who are you?" the woman asks me.
"Katniss. Katniss Everdeen."
"Lady Deliah Arabella Cartwright du Capitol."
"What a lovely name."
"Oh, it's my title. What's yours?"
"I don't have one."
"Ah, such a shame. Well, Peter and I are going to have tea so goodbye."
"I'll see you again this afternoon," Peeta says. "Have a lovely day, Katniss."
"You too," I say and Peeta hides smoothly the bow and arrow behind a table while his girlfriend takes his hand and pulls him away. And she and her Prince walk out of the hallway.
"Katniss, you are a lovely girl. Thank you," Mr. Mellark says. We have been talking all morning. "I am so glad my son could convince me to invite you over. You are just here for day and I already feel better."
I smile and blush. "Thank you sir."
"Don't call me sir. We are basically family. George will do."
"Thank you George."
"Julius and Willow are very close, aren't they?"
"Yes. Julius takes care of Willow like it is his own daughter."
"That is so beautiful." He pauses. "Rye did also do that for Peeta, you know. Jamie, the oldest, used to tease his baby brother a lot, but Rye always stood up for him."
"Where is Jamie now?"
"He lives in France. Married the girl of his dreams," George smiles. "He choosed love above his title. So did Rye. It makes me feel so proud. They did something that I didn't, but wanted so badly."
"And Peeta?"
"I am not sure. He has a girlfriend right now, a beautiful one, also a member of nobilty, but I don't know if she is the girl of his dreams. But if she is, then he also chooses the girl of his dreams. Except she has a title, but title or no title, that doesn't matter. I think it is important to marry someone you truly love."
"That is beautiful," I say. I am quiet for a while. "What I wanted to ask the whole morning, actually... Could we decorate it here? Make it more Christmassy inside the castle? If you want?"
He says nothing. His thoughts are somewhere else, I think. Eventually, he nodds.
I walk into the grande living room with boxes in my arms. "Jule, Will! Look! Decorations!"
"Ooh!" Willow runs to me and Julius follows her. "But we don't have a tree."
I am so stupid. Here I am with all the decoration I could find, but no tree to hang in.
"Oh, we will find a solution," Sophie says and puts her boxes on the ground. Anna, another maid, does the same.
"Maybe we could ask Peeta," Anna says. She looks at me. "Katniss, could you go look for Peeta? We will sort the decoration."
"Can I help you with that?" Julius asks.
"Of course, that would be nice. Willow, you can come with me to look for a pretty table sheet," Sophie says to the little girl, who almost jumps to her, screaming "yes!"
"Right. I will look for Peeta. You know where I can find him?"
"In the library I guess. Or in his atelier."
"Thanks," I say and I leave the room, searching for Peeta.
The library isn't hard to find. It is almost in the middle of the castle. It was the first room I went in when I arrived yesterday. It feels weird to know that I am just a day here. It feels like so much longer. I've learned more about Prim's life here than I ever could have known. Prim didn't like to talk about her life here. It did hurt too much.
Peeta is in the library indeed, reading. I almost feel bad to have to interrupt him. He looks with a concentrated look on his face and he looks even more serious because of the glasses he is wearing at the moment. He looks up when I walk into the library.
"Hi," he says with a smile.
"Hi," I say back. "Ehm, can you help me with something?"
"Anything." He closes his book and puts in on the table.
"Anna, Sophie and I just got the decorations for Christmas, but we don't have a tree..."
"I know exactly how I can help you," he says. "Behind the castle is a forest, there must be a decent tree out there." He puts his glasses on his book and stands up.
"May I help you?" I ask. I would love to see these woods and look for a Christmas tree.
"Of course," he says, in the British way and I chuckle.
"What," he says. He knows why I chuckled. "Too British for you?"
"No, not at all," I say while I try to imitate his accent.
"That was awful, darling," he laughs.
After Peeta parked his Jeep, we walk together through the forest. He is holding an axe, which makes him look a bit threatening, but makes me laugh inside.
What I learn quickly about Peeta is that he wouldn't be a good hunter. While he walks, I think the birds from 10 miles away can hear him and will fly away.
"So what were you reading?" I ask. "Harry Potter?"
Peeta laughs. "Are you kidding me?"
"Shakespeare then."
"Exactly."
I laugh. "Really?"
"No. Edmund Spencer."
"Don't know him."
"He is also a poet."
"You like poetry?"
"Yes, I absolutely love it. It is art with words."
"Most of the time, I don't understand what they mean."
"That is the fun of art. Looking for what they mean. It's like a game."
"My sister loved art. Van Gogh."
"Yes, he is wonderful. Monet too. Turner." He looks at me and laughs. "You don't know what I am saying, don't you?"
"No, but I love hearing you talk about what you love."
"What do you love?"
"My niece and nephew."
"That is not a passion, Katniss. I mean, what are your interests?"
I think for a while. I don't have time or money for a passion or an interest.
"I love the nature," I say. "And music."
"See, here we have a matching interest," Peeta grins. "Which music?"
"All kinds, actually." I blush. "I love to sing too. I used to work as a vocal coach, giving singing lessons to kids. But I got fired."
"That's a shame," Peeta says and something in his voice is comforting. "Have you already found a new job?"
"No, but I am busy with looking. I really love working." I smile when I think of my old job. I wish I could have it back.
"How is your job, being a prince?" I ask.
"Ah, you heard my title."
"Your girlfriend almost shouted it in my ears, so it would be weird if I didn't hear that."
"Yes, she is really proud of my title."
"Aren't you proud? It sounds really cool. Prince Peeta."
He laughs. "I was born with that title, nothing to be proud of. And it would be Prince Peter William Mellark of Panem."
"Ah, my fault."
"My brothers were Prince Ryan Henry Mellark of Panem and Prince James George Mellark of Panem."
"Wow."
He laughs. "See why I don't like titles?"
"No."
"I prefer Peeta, Rye and Jamie."
"Now you say that, I like those three also better." I pause. "Peeta sounds cute. Like a little boy."
"Well, I was always the baby," he laughs.
"I was the oldest. Always the mother."
"And a good one," he says.
"You don't know that." I was already a mother before I took care of my cousins. The thought about that hurts.
"I see what you do and you do it amazing." He looks at me. "Something in me says that my comment did something to you. What's the matter?"
His voice, I could listen to it all day and never get tired. His warm, melting voice, not really low but also not high. Inbetween but still remarkable. Unique.
"Nothing," I say, but he sees right through me.
"You can talk about it whenever and at anytime you want," he says and lies his hand on my shoulder. The gentle touch makes me shiver, but it could also be the cold.
"Thank you," I say and maybe I will talk about my past to him. In the future. He seems to be a good friend. "Look!" I say suddenly. "There! That's it! That is the perfect tree!"
I point to the tree right in front of us. A quite tall tree. Perfect for in the middle of the grande living room. Peeta sees it too.
"Oh yes! We should take that tree. Er..."
"What?" I ask.
"How are we going to get this tree in the car? It is a long walk and it will be too heavy for me..."
"You know, I can lift it too."
"It would still be too heavy." He laughs. "Blimey. We should get back and ask for help."
"Wait," I say and I wrap my red scarf around the tree. Peeta smiles.
"Clever," he says and then he starts to grin. "The first one at the ca... Hey! Katniss! You cheater!"
I already knew what he meant and with a smile on my face I was already running.
Peeta is, surprisingly for me, because yes, he is a prince, actually pretty fast, but I am still faster. But then the snow makes me fall down on my stomach.
"Katniss! You alright?"
Peeta comes to me, helps me to stand up and wraps his arms around me. "I'm so sorry. Have you pain anywhere?"
"No... just a little."
He lets me go. "It was a bad idea to start running in the snow."
"We should have taken a sleigh with us."
There he laughs again and this time I see a small dimple in his cheek, which makes him look younger.
"We should have. We better walk back the rest of the road."
I laugh. "Clever."
Peeta raises his eyebrow. "Are you mocking me?"
"No."
After a lot of struggling, the tree finally stands where it belongs. Mr. Mellark looked at it with some tears in his eyes, mumbling things about how important family is. Now I am decorating the tree with Willow, Anna and Sophie, while Julius sneaked into the kitchen with Peeta. I don't know why, but it will be good for him to spend some time with his uncle. Julius was 6 when he left Europe, so he does remember a little of his uncle. I try to imagine Peeta with little Julius and it makes me smile. Yes, it will be good for Julius to spend time with Peeta. It were good for me, too.
"Oh this ball is pretty. Look, I can see my face!" Willow says. "I will call this ball Willow."
"Right. You can hang Willow here, next to the little angel."
"Is that mama?"
I still don't get used to this kind of questions, even after 2 years. "It could be. Or your father."
"I don't know my father."
"I know sweetie. But I know that he loves you very much. And that he is in your heart, forever."
"Did you know papa?"
"No, but I did hear from Peeta that he was a prince."
The eyes of the little girl are shining now. "A prince! That means mama was a princess!"
I smile. "And you too."
"I AM A PRINCESS."
"Willow, we were decorating the tree."
"Sorry auntie Katniss."
I kiss her hair. "Doesn't matter, princess Willow."
"Thank you, Peeta."
Peeta walks into the grande living room. It is half past 10 in the evening and I am still decorating. Anna and Sophie had other stuff to do and Willow wanted to play with her princess dolls.
"For what?"
"Spending the rest of the afternoon with your nephew. Julius really liked it. And he ate almost the cookies you baked."
"He is lovely. He looks a lot like his father," Peeta smiles. "And you are still decorating the tree we caught?"
"I couldn't get the job done in these hours. Willow had other plans after she discovered she was a princess."
Peeta laughs. "Can I help you?"
"If you want to."
In silence we keep on decorating. Peeta has again his concentrated look on his face and it makes me smile. He looks at me and I look down. I am acting like a teenager, but what must he be thinking? He has a girlfriend. I am not allowed to look at him and think about him talking dirty to me in that accent of his, or of his lips on mine, or of my hand holding his. I know this man for just one day and he is making me feel like I haven't in years. His kindness, his warmth, it is all so new to me, but it feels also safe and familiar. Like I always wanted.
Peeta is hanging the balls on higher places and I am hanging the little angels or other decorations in the tree. The ribbons, some white feathers. And then it is time for the finishing touch.
"The star on top," Peeta smiles. "You can do it."
"Do you think I am 5 meters long?"
"There is a ladder next to you, dear. Don't be so sarcastic to me, I am not used to that."
"It is who I am," I laugh and I am already climbing the ladder with the star in my hand.
"Be careful."
"Of course." And then I think of his accent. "Of course," I say again, in a posh way this time while I put the star on top of the tree.
Peeta is laughing downstairs. "Awful, darling. But a marvelous tree."
The rest of the I am with the children: playing in the garden, playing hide and seek in the Castle going to the movies. We even went to a little café for some hot chocolate. Julius told me he has developed interest in history, so we went to a small local museum. I asked Mr. Mellark to join us to go to the museum and he did. With passion he told Julius about the history behind the objects, and even Willow and I were listening, though Willow was also busy turning circles in her new pink dress I bought for her. Another day we went to a small bakery where I tasted cheesebuns for the first time in my life. I told Peeta about it and he laughed, said that he had a receipt. The next morning he brought them to me for breakfast.
When Peeta wasn't spending time with Deliah (he called her Delly, but she hated that. She was proud of her title.) and the children where enjoying themselves, Peeta and I spent time together. I discovered that he loves to paint, that his favourite colour ("Colour" he said to me. "Color looks awful". I had to agree with that.) was orange like the sunset. I told him that mine was green, like the woods. And that I don't like coffee. He laughed about that, saying that he never takes sugar in his tea. He asked me if I had a boyfriend. I told him no, that I had the children to take care off. And he understood me, or he seemed to.
Today I am reading a book in my bedroom while Julius was spending time with his grandpa and Willow was drawing with Anna.
I am reading Harry Potter because Julius was so surprised "that I haven't read the best book ever" and Harry just arrived at King's Cross when I hear someone knocking on my door. When I open it, Peeta stands there.
"Hi. I just heard my father is going to give a ball on Christmas Eve."
"A ball?"
He grins. "How about waltzing?"
"I can't dance," I laugh, but I close the door behind us and walk along with him.
"I can." A while later Peeta opens a pair of doors and leads me into the ballroom.
"Here it will be," he says with a smile on his face. "It has been so long."
I smile. "It looks like a fairytale. I mean, a ball?"
"It was normal every year," Peeta says while he turns on the stereo. Classical ballroom music fills the room. "The Ball at Panem. The party of the year." He takes my hand. "Do you want to take this dance from me?"
"I don't have a choice, do I?"
"No," Peeta laughs and takes my right hand. With his left hand, he puts my other hand on his upperarm and then he left his hand on my back. I have never been so close to him before, except for in the woods when I fell and he hugged me. But this felt different. More serious.
"Chin up, don't look down," he whispers. "One, two, three."
After I tripped a couple of times over my own feet or over his, I see that the steps aren't that hard. The dance is kind of slow, kind of dreamy.
"Well, time for a change," I say suddenly and he startles. I laugh, run to the stereo and switches from music. Funky music will do.
I let my hips play the role. "Come on, stiff," I call to Peeta.
"What did you call me?" Peeta laughs and I see that his hips are anything but stiff.
It is madness, but we are dancing. In a crazy way, but we are having fun. Seeing Peeta dance like he is going to reach for the stars makes my heart melt and my smile go wider. I let my hair down and make a headbang, which makes Peeta laugh. He does an airguitar to the rhythm of the music and tears are almost streaming down my face because of the laughter.
Suddenly the music stops and we both look in the direction of the door. Deliah.
"Peter, what are you doing?" she smiles, but the smile is so forced and fake that it could break any moment.
"Er... Waltzing. Which ended up in rock," Peeta says, turning red.
She raises her eyebrow and smiles again.
"Darling, did you forget? We had a lunch with my parents now. My parents are still waiting." She takes his arm.
"I forgot. I am sorry."
"I forgive you dear," Deliah says and kisses his lips while she looks at me with so much arrogance I didn't even know it was possible.
I understand her completely. I would be mad at me too.
Deliah and her Prince walk away and Peeta turns his head a little while back to me and gives me a look I have in my thoughts the rest of the day.
I wander through the castle the rest of the afternoon, smiling when I think of Peeta dancing, frowning when I think of Deliah and about my feelings. Because yes, I have found feelings for him deep inside me. They should kept deep down there. He has a girlfriend. A beautiful blonde, with a title and a future. What can I offer him? Worries. Maybe my love, but the amount of worries will be bigger. About my niece and nephew, that I am unemployed, that I don't have a lot of money, that I am a no one. I cannot be in love with Prince Peter William Mellark of Panem.
But I am in love with Peeta Mellark and so here I am, trying to deny my feelings for the third time.
One was for Gale, my childhood friend, who is now happily married to Madge, the girl he had chosen.
Two was for Finnick, a tourist I met in town, who is now happily married to Annie, who had been his girlfriend all that time.
And now Peeta, the one who wakes up every feeling of love inside me, every butterfly in my stomach. I have never felt so comfortable around someone, never felt so comfortable while having this feelings.
That look he gave me, that was even worse. There was hope in his eyes. Love. And he gave that look to me, not to his girlfriend.
I don't know what to do anymore. I could deny my feelings again, be unhappy for a while, but get up eventually. But what if Peeta actually has feelings for me too? Then I will have regret. Regret is something that stays forever.
I walk through the hallway where I broke the bow and arrow. There it is, hidden under the table. I take the broken bow in my hands and sit down. There must be a way to fix this.
In upper concentration, I try to fix the bow like my father taught me a long time ago. And while I am doing that, I hear voices coming from the room on the other side of the wall. It is Mr. Mellark. And Peeta. My heart starts beating harder when I hear his voice.
"Should you really invite her?" he asks.
"I don't know. She doesn't have a title. She is rude," his father answers.
"Tell me all about it. She has a bad attitude."
"Nor is she a lady. Deliah told me she hated her."
"It's your choice. I would know it. Let her stay at home there, far away from us." Peeta's voice sounds full of disgust.
I feel the tears behind my eyes. Is this really happening?
With anger, I throw the bow away, under the table and while I stand up, the door opens. Peeta walks out of the room.
"I... I tried to fix the bow. I didn't succeed. Bye, Prince Peter William Mellark of Panem."
"Katniss? Why my title? What is the matter? You look upset!"
I don't want to hear his charming voice and I walk away. I didn't have done anything wrong. At least not only me. He was there too all the time.
Time to deny my feelings. Again. And I miss my sister so much right now. Even more than usual.
"What do you mean you won't go to the ball tonight?" Julius asks. "There is the most prettiest dress I've ever seen in front of you." He points to my bed. It is indeed the most beautiful dress I have ever seen too.
I help Willow putting her cute silver mini ballgown on and tie Julius' tie.
"I am denying," I say shortly. "But I promise you two can have the time of your lives."
"You deserve that more than us," Julius says. "You were a great mother these 2 years and you deserve to go to that ball. You even practised with uncle Peeta on dancing!"
"I don't want to, okay? I want to go home. Like I said, I will pick you up after Christmas."
"But then we won't have Christmas together!" Willow says.
"We will have a second Christmas at home, okay?"
"Okay."
I am glad Willow is so easy going. But Julius is stubborn.
"Aunt Katniss..."
"No." I am stubborn too. "Enjoy your ball. I see you next year. I love you. And I am so proud of you two. I am sure your parents are, too." I give my two children a hug and even Julius sighs and hugs me back.
I open the door and the brother and sister leave my bedroom. I watch how they walk together to the stairs and I sigh. I am very proud of them indeed.
"Katniss."
That voice. That voice I have been hiding for the last two days.
I turn to him. "Peter."
"Stop calling me Peter. You never did that. Can you please tell me what's wrong and why you are ignoring me?"
I ignore him and he sighs. "Can you let me in your room, please?"
"Why? Wouldn't it be better if I stay far away from you? That was I planning to do actually." I walk into my room and want to close the door behind me, but Peeta is faster and gets into my room. He closes the door.
"Katniss, where is this coming from?" His eyes look desperate.
"I have a bad attitude and I am rude, well, FUCK YOU AND YOUR TITLE," I yell at him. "First being all sweet to me, baking those stupid buns for me, dancing with me..."
"Katniss," he whispers and he wants to lay his hand on my shoulder, but I push it away.
"Don't you fucking dare to touch me," I say to him and I feel like I am going to cry. From anger and because I am so in love with this guy, who had hurt me so much.
"I heard you say all these things. I..."
He stops me with his lips. They collide with mine and it feels like the floor disappears under my feet and he keeps me high.
"It wasn't about you," he whispers and I see tears in his blue eyes, breaking my heart.
"It was about Miss Crane, the annoying woman who thinks high about herself and I was affraid she would..."
"Why did you kiss me," I breath. "You have a girlfriend."
"I broke up with her this afternoon."
"Why?" I can't believe it. This isn't happening.
"Couple of reasons. The first one was that I asked her if she would fall for me if I were just a baker and not a prince. She was honest and said no. So I was also being honest with her. I told her reason two."
"Reason two?"
"That someone else stole my heart, and it is you, because Katniss, I am so in..."
My lips are on his and he kisses me back. This kiss is different, this time with more passion and fire behind it. This isn't real. Someone is actually falling for me? Peeta Mellark fell in love with me? This beautiful man, inside and out? This prince Charming? Because that is what he is.
Peeta stops. "Katniss. We have to go to a ball. We have to celebrate Christmas Eve."
I smile. "I am not used to that."
"Me neither. But we can do it. Together."
"Together?"
"Together. And now, put on your dress! We are already late!"
"Late in style."
"Shut up and dress, my love."
I hope you liked this story! It is un-betaed and English is not my native language, but I tried my best. Thanks for reading!