It's funny how when everything comes crashing down you finally realize that all you've got are the memories of 'what used to be'. It scares you more than you'd like to admit. As a person who has always been alone, losing the one girl that meant everything to you is just unthinkable. And I guess that's why you let yourself fall hopelessly in love with her. Carly Shay. What a lucky girl you were.
Once upon a time ago in a land of secret kisses and stolen glances, your best friend picked you, out of all the dweebs in school, to love. And boy was it hard to love you. It didn't matter to her. She loved you nonetheless. There were no questions, no agreements, and no contracts. Love didn't have to be like that. It was more mutual. You both knew what you were getting into by allowing yourselves to fall deeper into each other's arms. There was no label. You were just Sam and she was your lovely Carly. There had been no malice in your relationship.
It wasn't hard to predict. She knew you inside out. Who else did you let in to your shell of a thousand skins and faces? And who wiped your tears and kissed your scars? No one other than a certain Ms. Shay, of course. You held her through the night, kissed away her tears. You were her superhero, her protector of the night. It was like satellite, the way you two communicated. One look into her eyes and you knew what was on her mind. It used to be so simple. Relationships are delicate. Did you handle yours with care?
And yet here you were. Just another night like the others, sitting by your windowsill watching the stars twinkle like the light in her eyes. Your heart was pounding slowly and painfully against your chest as you forced yourself to hold back the tears, which were waiting to escape. She wasn't here to wipe your tears. Your hands were trembling as they wrapped themselves around your, mimicking her arms, your hands tracing your collarbones the way she would. Note: you were holding yourself. Where was she? Your eyes were stinging. The room was cold. But what would you know? You were too numb to feel anything.
Your mother was out for the night as usual, leaving you home alone in silence and darkness. Melanie was out of town in her preppy private school, far away from you. Fredward was somewhere out there but you couldn't care less. And her? Where was she? You looked up at the sky staring at the stars wondering where the girl that held your heart was.
She once promised you that no matter where she was in the world, if you looked up at the stars, she would be one of them shining brightly just for you. As cliché as it sounded, it made you feel better about everything. It gave you this warm feeling inside that zoomed up and down and made you smile. Yeah, she made it so easy to make you smile.
Tonight the stars weren't shining brightly. The street lamp across your window shined brighter than any star. Where was she when you needed her? Where was the light that you needed when your life had been so darkened? How did you ever get to feel abandoned and alone? Samantha Puckett, where did you go wrong?
When everything comes crashing down and you're feeling so alone, all you've got are memories and wishes of what used to be or what could've been. Lucky for you, your memories are crystal clear. It's like watching your favorite moments in High Definition. Love on film. That's what your memories were like…you lean back on your stack of pillows and get cozy. What was playing on your mind tonight?