"You ready?" I turned around to Cartman who was leaning against our bedroom door. I stood up and nodded. "Yeah, I guess…" He chuckled and walked over to me. "Come on Kyle, you'll be fine. If your bitch of a mother can't accept that you're gonna get married to this hunk," he points at himself with a smirk before placing a huge hand on my shoulder, "Then screw her." I shook my head, "Dude, I'm not worried about my mom, asshole," I gave him a little punch on the arm for calling my mom a bitch before I continued, "I just….I don't know…" To be honest I had no idea why I was nervous to tell my family I was engaged to Cartman. My mom was excited when she found out I was with that 'Cartmanboy', surprisingly, since Cartman was known for trying to kill the Jews. But, I guess all of Cartman's charisma swooned my mother into forgiving him. Maybe it was his good looks? I don't know. Cartman suddenly wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed the back of my neck. "Kyle, stop being a little pussy. All we gotta do is tell them, see their reaction, talk about how I romantically purposed to you, come home and have hot, sweaty sex!" I laughed a bit and shook my head. "You're redicilous Cartman…..but you're right. Let's just get this over with." I led the way out of the room and felt Cartman grab my ass. "I'll even let you top tonight." I laughed again and smacked his ass. "I don't need your permission since that was going to happen anyway."
/
We arrived at my parents house and before I could get out the car, my phone started ringing. I unbuckled my seat belt so I could fish out my phone from my pocket. Ah, it's Stan.
"Hey dude, what's up?" "Hey Kyle, just wanted to know how your family took the news?" "We just pulled up to their house. I had to finish grading homework, so we just left the house." I watched Cartman get out of the car. "Oh okay, well good luck bro." "Thanks Stan. I'll text you on how it goes."
"Oh bubbie! I'm glad you're here! You're father and I were just talking about you and how proud we are that you're doing well at work!" I recently got a job as a teacher at South Park Elementary, the same elementary I went to as a kid. It's weird that I work at the one place I repeatedly complained about and I hated the teachers who worked there because they were all retarded. Especially Mr. Garrison. He was so bad at teaching and the only thing we learned was about really was which celebrity had the worse boob job. But, I came to like working with kids and watching over Ike all my life made me realize I could teach other kids. So I went to school to become a teacher and now I have my dream job.
"Thanks ma- oh and Cartman's here." I turned around to Cartman who was in back of me...or so I thought. Where the hell- "Mr. Broflovski, that t.v looks really sweat!" When did he get inside? My mother and I walked inside the living room as Cartman gushed about the new t.v my parents bought. "Ah yeah. One of my buddies gave me a good discount on this baby. Say, there's a football game happening soon, why don't you boys come watch with me." "Sure da-" I feel my shoulder being squeezed and looked up to see Cartman eyeing me. "What?" He rolls his eyes and whispers, "Kahhhl, the faster we get home the more time for banging my aaaassss." I glared at him before sighing."Actually dad, I just came to tell you and ma something." I had my mom and dad sit down on the couch while Cartman stood behind me. "What is it Kyle? Is everything okay?" I smiled and nodded. "Yeah. It's just...I'm...I'm..." I sighed and stuttered even more before Cartman lifted up my hand to show the shinny ring on my finger. My face was glowing red but I didn't move. I watched my parents squint at the ring before my moms eyes grew big. "Oh! Oh Kyle! Oh bubbie you're engaged?!" She got up to rush over to me and squeezed the life out of me. She was very short and hugging my tall and lanky self looked as if she was hugging a tree. "Congrats son! And to you Eric." My dad called out to us. Cartman smirked cockily but his face soon turned into shock once my mom hugged him as well. "Oh you two! This is wonderful! Oh bubbie, your aunts are gonna be so excited about this news! I gotta tell every body- Gerald go call your family and tell them my baby is getting married!" Gerald nodded and stood up. I smiled at my parents and looked over at Cartman who looked down at me with a matching smile. I guess he was right. I had nothing to worry about. Well until... "I can't wait to plan your wedding bubbie!"
Goddamnit.