Another FMA oneshot~ I wrote this one quite late last night, so don't blame me for the weirdness/OOC-ness/total lack of plot. XD
Disclaimer~
It was on that day that Roy swore to never try to get Ed drunk again. Ever.
"Out already, Mustang? And here I thought you held your liquor well!" Ed burst into a vaguely tipsy guffaw of laughter from the leather seat opposite his commanding officer.
"Sh... Shut up," Roy slurred, barely managing to even remember how to blink, let alone think of a witty and demeaning comeback for the hardly-even-tipsy subordinate in front of him.
Ed grinned, a rather evil one at that. Roy scowled in a way that could almost even be called pouting.
"Just give up, Mustang. You're completely pissed, and I'm not. Admit it," Fullmetal jeered over the rim of his shot glass, which was now being refilled absent mindedly by its owner.
Roy shot him a dark glare.
Ed stretched, his left arm clicking under the strain, and he lent back in his padded wooden dining chair, a smug smile creeping onto his face.
Roy dropped his heavy head into his hands - an action he immediately regretted as the room began to tilt sideways - and let out a childish groan of defeat. For a kid who supposedly 'didn't drink', he sure held his liquor well.
To be honest, Roy's plan was to get Edward drunk. Why? Because Ed had been the only witness to a very important crime, yet refused to say anything about it. (Roy suspected this was mainly just to get on the Colonel's nerves.) He thought that maybe, if Ed was drunk, he would let some information slip and Roy would actually have something of use to report to the Fuhrer.
Unfortunately, it didn't quite go according to plan.
Ed had informed him after his fifth shot that Resembool wasn't known for its law-abiding tendencies, and that the local bar-slash-inn there offered cider to anyone above the age of four and beer to anyone above the age of ten (in appropriate amounts, of course). So even though Edward didn't make a habit of drinking, he'd been drinking moderate amounts of alcohol since he was a little kid, and had therefore built up quite an immunity to it.
Roy, of course, had no way of knowing this until after his plan had been put into action, and was thus left in a rather humiliating position after a drinking game with his most insubordinate subordinate. Said nineteen-year-old was able to down an impressive three litres of strong cider and one shot and only become mildly intoxicated, while slyly goading Roy into drinking nine shots and a pint of lager - enough to knock even a regular drinker such as Roy into a drunken stupor.
Roy was definitely not pleased with this outcome of events.
But unfortunately, it was all he could do to slouch there and feel stupid as Edward laughed mockingly at his totally sloshed commanding officer.
AHH, THE PLOTLESSNESS! XD
Since I don't drink, you gotta take the alcohol amounts with a pinch of salt.
You like, you fave/review. Either is fine. Both is better :D (Don't do what I sometimes do and add one-shots to my story alert.)