Authors Notes:
Written for the Pinn & Kinn Big Bang 2013. Graphics ( mblRtLrQwF0pmf) and by the madly talented Patchfire. My personal recommendation is to listen to the tracks on the fanmix in the order they are numbered, at the end of the corresponding chapter. So listen to track 1 at the end of chapter 1, etc.
Thank you EverlastingMuse for being my Beta. Any lingering mistakes are my own.
Thank you to nubianamy and benwilson for being my cheerleaders through this.
This story has canonical elements but vers mostly into AR
Chapter 1- Merry Christmas
December 2012
Kurt Hummel sat on the window seat in the apartment, looking out at the skyline of the city, snowflakes gently tumbling down, covering the city in a glittery-white fluffy blanket of a winter wonderland. He had his phone to his ear, listening to his father's disappointment, feeling melancholy himself as he sat alone in his and Rachel's apartment. Rachel was holed up in a practice room at NYADA preparing for final exams. She would be leaving Thursday evening after her exam, flying out with her fathers to Florida for the next sixteen days. Kurt had planned on flying home Friday to spend eight days with his family, and any of his high school friends who were in town. However, his acceptance letter to NYADA, starting in January, after his surprising impromptu audition at the Winter Showcase, meant that he had projects he needed to wrap up at work. Unfortunately, he would be cutting back his hours at his internship drastically in the new year.
"Well, since I bought the travel insurance, I was able change my ticket to use in February for a small fee," Kurt explained. "Rachel said we have an extra long weekend of five days around Washington's birthday. Which also apparently coincides with Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury's wedding. So we are flying in together late on the thirteenth and I am flying back the afternoon of the twentieth."
"Kurt, it's Christmas." Burt sighed. "I know this is your first year away from home, but you didn't come home for Thanksgiving, and I know that wasn't about us. It's just- Carole, Finn, and I; we were counting on you coming home for at least a couple of days during the holidays. We miss you buddy."
"I know Dad..." Kurt tried not to sniffle as he felt tears prick at his eyes, and he swallowed a sob. "But I have so much work to finish at Vogue. And I still have to finish registering for my classes, pick up my books and supplies, plus there are advisor meetings and a smaller orientation going on right after the new year at NYADA. It seems kind of irresponsible for me to come home right now."
"I promise; we'll skype a bunch; I'll call Christmas day," Kurt pleaded. "And I promise- I swear; I'll be home in February- no matter what."
The two Hummel men were both quiet for a few moments. Kurt could feel the tears still pricking at his eyes; he did want to go home- he missed his family; he missed his dad. And things were better between Blaine and him; they were talking now, trying to be friends. Kurt missed Blaine as his best friend almost more than he missed Blaine as his boyfriend. However, Kurt wasn't sure he knew how to be just Blaine's friend anymore, and he was afraid he was setting himself up for more hurt and disappointment sometimes.
"Ok, kiddo," Burt said softly, interrupting Kurt's thoughts. "It's not going to be the same without you here though. And I'm holding you to at least two sessions on Skype and a handful of calls before the new year."
"Ok, Dad." Kurt chuckled. "I'm sorry about this but it just couldn't be helped. I love you."
"Love you too, Kurt."
"Send Carole my love," Kurt added.
"And Finn?" Burt teasingly asked.
Kurt huffed into the phone, mumbling a reply. "Fine, yes I love him and miss him too."
Burt chuckled. "Good night buddy."
"Night Dad," Kurt said before disconnecting the call. He leaned back against the window frame and continued watching the snow. Eventually, Kurt stood up and walked over to pick up his laptop and brought it back to the window seat. He opened it up and connected to his email.
To: Blaine BAWarbler
From: Kurt KEHinNYC
Subject: Christmas duet
Merry Christmas Blaine!
I know the last time we talked, I said I was coming home for Christmas, and we agreed we'd like to get together and sing a Christmas song or two together like we have in the past. But between my impromptu NYADA re-audition at Winter Showcase and my subsequent acceptance plus the projects I have to finish at before the new year when I drastically cut back my hours so I can attend school, there is just no way I can justify coming home during the holidays. I just spoke to my dad about it- he's disappointed of course, as am I- but he understands. Unless you and your family are planning on coming to NYC for the holidays (and I am guessing not) then our Christmas Carol duet will have to be over skype or we'll have to skip it this year. Maybe next year we'll be closer geographically.
Happy Holidays,
Kurt
Just as Kurt had finished his email to Blaine, his phone chirped with a message notification. Kurt grabbed his phone and noticed the message was from Finn. He grimaced; there was something so child-like about Finn sometimes, and Kurt was sure Finn would be upset to hear that Kurt was not coming home for Christmas. It was Finn's favorite holiday after all. They hadn't seen each other since Rachel and Kurt had briefly returned to Lima for the production of Grease before Thanksgiving. It had been such a quick trip too. And the time before that had been when Finn and then Blaine both had shown up and surprised Rachel and Kurt in New York. That had also been brief, not to mention disastrous, but at least Kurt had been around to catch Finn as he sneaked off in the morning.
what why r u not coming home for xmas? :(
So many things to do before the semester starts at NYADA. Have to finish projects at Vogue.
Register for classes get books and supplies. Plus orientation the first week after the New Year.
xmas w/o u :( won't be the same
I'll be home in February for Schue's wedding. I promise
u kno if I was Brit I'd ask Santa 2 bring u home for xmas :P
You still could- but I don't think it'd help. :P
dude I wasnt good this year :( not good enough 4 u ;)
You do realize Finn, if anyone ever read our texts…
yeah yeah I kno love u bro
I'm rolling my eyes at you Finnegan. And I love you too.
000
As Kurt climbed the steps back above ground, he pulled out his phone to see if he had enough time to stop for coffee before work. He noticed he had a missed call notification, and he scrolled through his call list and saw Finn had tried to call while he was on the subway. Kurt quickly jogged over to the Starbucks on the corner and ordered his usual before making his way to work. When Kurt arrived at work, he set down his coffee and shucked his outerwear before sitting down at his desk and listening to his voicemail.
Kurt listened and waited for Finn's voice, but it almost appeared as if Finn may have butt dialed Kurt that morning. The only thing Kurt could hear at first was the intro to a Christmas carol in the background. But then suddenly Finn's voice was in Kurt's ear, and he couldn't help but smile.
The snow's coming down
I'm watching it fall
Watching the people around
Kurt please come home
The church bells in town
They're ringing in song
What a happy sound
Kurt please come home
They're singing "Deck The Halls"
But it's not like Christmas at all
I remember when you were here
And all the fun we had last year
Kurt chuckled as he listened to his brother sing to him over voice mail. It was true, three years with Mr. Schue and the New Directions had all but ruined the lot of them; emotions were now so tightly bound to songs, to music, that it was all but impossible to communicate without breaking into song at some point. Part of Kurt loved it though; it was as dramatic as he was. And Kurt usually enjoyed being serenaded; notwithstanding that last horrific version of Teenage Dream at Callbacks in late September. Plus, this was Finn, and while it was unexpected, it was also quintessentially Finn. Kurt's cheeks hurt from the huge grin he was sporting, but his eyes were damp as he thought of his lonely plans for the holidays.
Kurt picked up a photo of Finn and him from his desk and smiled through the tears. Having Finn as a brother was not part of Kurt's master plan when he had set up his father with Carole Hudson, but their relationship now was more real than anything Kurt could have dreamed up sophomore year. Briefly sharing a room and then rooms down the hall from each other, sharing holidays, birthdays, and special events together;were all things Kurt knew would never have happened without having set up their parents. Double dates with Blaine and Rachel, late night lady chats and brotherly advice; plus the extra bonus of family photo albums that now included pictures of the two of them, were all a part of their brief journey into brotherhood. Kurt bit the inside of his cheek, because now that he and Blaine were no longer together; it would be so very easy for Kurt to fall, harder and deeper, for Finn again.
"Listening to a voice mail from your guy?" Chase asked Kurt with a smile as he walked past Kurt's desk.
"My 'guy'?" Kurt questioned, narrowing his eyes at his co-worker.
"The one that kept sending you roses," Chase answered and nodded towards the photo. "Is that him? He's a cutie. Look at how he's looking at you like you're just the most adorable thing he's ever seen."
Kurt laughed out loud and shook his head. "No, the flowers were from my ex; Blaine. This," Kurt held out the photo and the phone, "is Finn."
"Finn's the current boyfriend?" Chase inquired.
Kurt's eyes widened comically. "No, no, not the current boyfriend," Kurt sputtered. "We're not together- no chance of being together."
Chase tilted his head to the side and looked at the young man in front of him. "You sure about that Kurt?"
"Positive." Kurt affirmed. "We're close; really good friends, actually he is probably my best friend now that Blaine and I have split up. But Finn's straight; plus it would be like dating my brother." Kurt struggled not to giggle at just how true those words were.
"If you say so," Chase mumbled as he walked away.
"And what has you so cheery this morning Kurt?" Isabelle inquired as she took in Kurt's flushed cheeks, wide eyes and smile.
Kurt sighed. "It's just Finn, being...well Finn." Kurt rolled his eyes as he put the photo back down on his desk.
Isabelle threaded her arm through Kurt's and led them towards her office. In Kurt's small amount of time as her assistant, he had already embarrassingly told Isabelle all the details of his relationship with the studly quarterback turned gleeky step-brother. "So just what has Finn Hudson done now, to make my assistant so flustered this morning?"
"I told Dad last night that I'm not coming home at Christmas. And Finn in his childlike enthusiasm for the holidays is, sad, I guess. There were some texts last night where he implied he if he still believed in Santa that he would ask Santa for me." Kurt shook his head.
Isabelle's laughter tinkled like bells. "The two of you seem to have a very weird dynamic given your history. But if that was last night, what's going on this morning?"
Kurt narrowed his eyes at Isabelle. "He sang to me. Finn freakin' serenaded me with a holiday song over voice mail." Kurt pressed a couple of buttons on his cellphone, and Finn's voice filtered out of the tiny speaker and into the office.
Isabelle clasped her hands together and smiled dreamily as Kurt turned off his messages. "Kurt, that was seriously wonderful. So adorable."
Kurt shook his head. "I know. I don't know if this kinda stuff is really new or if I just wasn't really paying attention anymore because of Blaine, but now, now Isabelle, it would be so easy, too easy to fall all over again. But I can't. I won't- it wasn't a good place for me Isabelle..." Kurt stumbled.
"No, you're right Kurt," Isabelle agreed. "You are older, smarter, and wiser. I know you know crushing on a straight boy is going to do nothing but lead you to more heartbreak."
"Not to mention, a straight boy that is also the son of my dad's wife," Kurt said.
"I know you've explained why you can't go home for the holidays, but you know I don't expect you to wrap everything up before you start at NYADA, I'm just happy you are agreeing to stay on even part time Kurt," Isabelle explained. "So why isn't your family coming to New York, at least for a couple of days?"
Kurt shook his head. "I'm sure Dad and Carole have enough to do at home and at the shop before Dad has to head back to DC in the new year. New York is just so big, so busy, so loud compared to what they are used to. I'm sure they are looking forward to the peace and quiet; the slow pace of Lima after having spent most of the fall in DC."
"And Finn; although our post graduation plans included Finn, Rachel and I all coming to New York together; Rachel and I can admit now, that it was never his dream, not like ours," Kurt said. "He was just following her- too afraid to let her go until he suddenly wasn't. And given what happened the last time he was in New York, I don't imagine Finn Hudson is keen on returning anytime soon."
"Even for you?" Isabelle joked.
"Especially not for me," Kurt replied.
000
Finn sat in the aisle seat, next to his mother, Burt on her other side, on a flight from Columbus to New York. Finn couldn't help but compare this flight to the other times he had flown to New York. He certainly felt as nervous now as he had those times, as well. It probably didn't make sense considering all they were doing was flying in to surprise Kurt for Christmas; to give him the Christmas he couldn't come home for. But a team of butterflies had currently taken up residence in Finn's gut, and he just couldn't shake them.
"Are you sure we shouldn't let Kurt know we're coming?" Finn leaned over and asked his mom and Burt.
Carole Hudson-Hummel put a hand on her son's arm and chuckled softly. "It wouldn't be much of a surprise if we told him, Finn. It's going to be fine, and think of how happy he is going to be when he opens the door and sees all of us."
Finn thought of Kurt's happy smile, and he relaxed a little. Finn thought of the time Kurt had kicked the winning field goal in their sophomore year; he thought of his smile while they danced together at their parent's wedding; the one the day Kurt had returned to McKinley, Kurt's genuine happy smile could rival the sun. Then of course there was the day Blaine transferred; the day of his NYADA audition, and of course, the day they won Nationals. Everyone had smiled that day; Finn had actually thought his cheeks would bruise, they hurt from all the smiling.
Finn nodded his head, yeah, happy Kurt was a good thing. He imagined Kurt sliding open the loft door and finding his family on the other side, just days before Christmas. But then Finn remembered the last time he had been at the loft, when he had watched Kurt slide open the loft door to find Blaine on the other side. Sure, Kurt had smiled then, right at that moment, but in the end, things had gone to terribly wrong for all of them. Finn sobered, remembering the words Kurt had spoken to him just before he left; "I feel like I'm dying."
"You know," Finn said suddenly, "the loft doesn't have the best luck for surprise guests."
Burt chuckled as he turned from the window and looked at his anxious step-son. "Listen Finn, I know my kid, he's going to be thrilled we showed up to surprise him for Christmas."
Finn watched as Burt and Carole shared a look he couldn't quite place. His brows furrowed. "Mom?"
"It'll be fine, I promise," Carole said cryptically as she took his hand and squeezed it gently.
000
Kurt smiled as he clicked the answer button and Blaine's face appeared on his screen.
"Merry Christmas Kurt!" Blaine said jollily, a bright smile adorning his face. He was sitting near the large Christmas tree that Kurt had seen in the Anderson family room the year before. Kurt could see he was wearing a red dress shirt with a white bow tie with some little brightly colored things on it.
Kurt tilted his head slightly, "Merry Christmas Blaine." He squinted at the screen, pushing his face a little closer, "what is that, on your bow tie, Blaine?"
Blaine grinned and shifted closer to his camera. "Can you tell now?"
Kurt sat back and clapped his hands together chuckling. "Presents! So very festive of you Mr Anderson."
Blaine laughed as he leaned back. "Well, I try Kurt. I thought I'd call you from the family room. If you pick a song, and I know it; I can accompany us on the piano."
"Sure put me on the spot," Kurt grumbled playfully.
Blaine sighed. "Fine, what about this one," he said. "Don't get so busy that you miss, giving just a little kiss to the one's you love…"
Kurt smiled as he recognized the medley and the song, jumping in and singing along with Blaine. After the chorus, Blaine grew quiet, allowing Kurt to sing alone with just the piano accompaniment. "How could you wait another minute? A hug is warmer when you're in it, oh baby that's a fact…"
Blaine took over again, Kurt staying silent; the words too poignant. "And saying, 'I love you' is always better, seasons, reasons, they don't matter, so don't hold back…"
On the final chorus, their voices mixing in a near perfect harmony, Kurt placed the palm of his hand against the screen and Blaine mirrored him. "Don't save it all for Christmas day, find a way, to give a little love everyday. Don't save it all for Christmas day, find a way, cause holidays have come and gone."
Blaine continued to play the melody of the song softly after they had finished singing. "Thank you Kurt. Merry Christmas."
Kurt smiled at the handsome man and wiped at his slightly damp eyes. "Thank you; for playing the piano, for picking such a wonderful song, Blaine." Kurt opened his mouth to say more, but there was a knock on the loft door. His brows furrowed in confusion.
"Was that the door?" Blaine asked. He dropped his voice to barely a whisper. "Are you expecting someone?"
Kurt shook his head. "Should I answer it?" he whispered.
Blaine nodded. "Just be careful Kurt," he replied quietly.
"Call me in 5 minutes ok. If I don't answer, call the police." Kurt's voice was slightly higher than normal but still low in volume. The knocking continued. "Merry Christmas Blaine." he said before he clicked the connection closed and shut his laptop. On his way past the kitchen, Kurt grabbed the frying pan from where it was drying in the dish rack. He walked over to the door and hid the frying pan behind his back. Kurt squared his shoulders and tried desperately to lower his voice like he had done on a couple of Glee assignments in high school. "Can I help you?" he said to the door in a voice closer to baritone than countertenor.
000
Burt exchanged a worried glance with Carole at the deeper sounding voice resonating from behind the door to his sons' loft apartment. However, behind him, Finn was snickering.
"Kurt?" Burt questioned. "Is that you kiddo? Open the door."
The voice on the other side of the door squeaked, sounding decidedly more Kurt-like than before. "Dad!" The door flew open to reveal a flustered and excited Kurt, still holding a frying pan, but he quickly shoved it aside.
Burt Hummel suddenly found himself with two armfuls of his grown son, hugging him fiercely.
"What are you doing here?" Kurt's voice was muffled by his father's coat.
"You said you couldn't come home for Christmas. We figured we might as well bring Christmas to you," Burt replied; his eyes damp with tears already.
"We…" Kurt questioned as he pulled away from his father, and Burt could tell in all his excitement Kurt completely missed the fact that Carole and Finn were with him.
"Merry Christmas sweetheart!" Carole said as Kurt stepped into her outstretched arms.
"You didn't have to go through all this trouble." Kurt sniffled as he hugged her closely, and Burt wrapped an arm around Carole's shoulders too.
"No trouble at all," Carole reassured him. "I wanted all my men together for Christmas."
Kurt pulled away from Carole and Burt and straightened himself up tall and crossing his arms across his chest. "Finn Hudson..." he said as he shook his head.
Burt looked over his shoulder at his stepson who was smiling brightly. Finn shrugged his shoulders at Kurt. "I must have been pretty good I guess," he said cryptically and before Burt could blink, Kurt was enveloped in one of Finn's giant body hugs.
"Is this ok? That we're here?" Finn asked Kurt quietly while they embraced.
Kurt's response was immediate. "Of course it is."
"Awesome dude, because Christmas just wouldn't be the same without you," Finn replied.
As Kurt untangled himself from Finn, in the loft his cell phone rang. "Oh shoot, that's Blaine calling." He dashed back into the loft, motioning with his hands for his family to join him.
"Blaine," he said breathlessly as the call connected.
Burt couldn't hear what Anderson was saying on the phone, but it made Kurt smile wide and for that Burt Hummel was grateful.
"I'm just excited is all," Kurt replied to Blaine, waving his hands around as if Blaine could see him. "It was my dad and Carole and Finn at the door. They came to spend Christmas with me Blaine!"
Kurt and Blaine spoke for a couple of minutes before Kurt wished Blaine a merry Christmas and hung up. "Blaine says Merry Christmas to all of you, and he is very happy I'm not alone anymore."
Burt wrapped an arm around his son and pulled him in tight, watching as Carole did the same with her boy. "So are we Kurt; so are we."
000
"I can just sleep on the couch, it's really not a big deal," Finn said later that night after Burt and Carole had retired to Rachel's room.
"Our couch is tiny and barely comfortable enough to sit on, let alone sleep on." Kurt argued. Kurt held up his hand as if he was testifying in court. "I promise I won't make a move on you."
Finn shook his head. "You know it's not about that anymore. I just don't want to put you out."
"It's fine, I swear," Kurt replied. "Besides, we can catch up. You can fill me in on all the McKinley gossip before we fall asleep."
Finn rolled his eyes. "Dude, couldn't you ask, I don't know, like Tina or Blaine for all the gossip?"
Kurt sighed dramatically. "I could, but they are part of the gossip I want to know about." Kurt opened a drawer in his dresser and pulled out a couple of items. "I'm just going to go wash up and change. You can have the bathroom when I'm done."
Finn changed into a pair of flannel pyjama pants and long sleeve tee-shirt while Kurt was in the bathroom. Then he sat down on the small bed, his back to the door. To be fair, it was bigger than the bed he had at home, but at home he wasn't sharing it with someone else. The bed was soft, really soft though, and Finn discovered Kurt had several thick blankets all piled on top of each other.
When Kurt came back into the room, he made a noise of disapproval. "You're seriously going to overheat in here if you plan on sleeping in that."
Finn laid back on the bed and looked up at Kurt, who was fiddling with something on his dresser. He felt his eyes bug out of his head a little bit. Kurt was wearing just a very fitted undershirt and a pair of boxers. "Uhm, maybe you wouldn't need so many blankets Kurt, if you, you know, wore warmer clothes to bed."
Kurt blushed slightly, turning to look at Finn, who was now laying on his side propped up on an elbow under his head. "All of the blankets are not really about warmth or keeping warm."
"Then why do you have so many?" Finn asked.
Kurt slid in under his pile of blankets and turned to face Finn, mirroring his position. "I just, I like the weight of all the blankets," Kurt replied.
Finn noticed Kurt was kind of looking at him funny. "I better go wash up before it gets too late," Finn said as he stood up from the bed and grabbed a bag of toiletries from his suitcase. He stood in the bathroom, brushing his teeth and staring at his reflection in the mirror. Finn couldn't help but think about the last time he was at the loft. His break up with Rachel; Kurt's with Blaine. It should feel weird to be here again, Finn thought to himself, but it doesn't. Finn was actually really excited to be here for Christmas with his family. For so long it had just been his mom and him, just two of them, and sure now they were only a family of four, but it was almost like everything young Finn Hudson had ever wanted during the holidays.
Finn walked back into the bedroom where Kurt had turned out the lights and had just a small lamp on Finn's side of the bed turned on. Kurt was laying on his back; one arm tucked under his head, the other resting across his stomach on top of the blankets. Finn crawled into bed, under just the top cover since he was wearing such warm pyjamas already, and laid on his side again, facing Kurt; his arm pillowed under his head.
"So you and Blaine, you're talking now?" Finn asked quietly once he was settled on the bed.
"Yes." Kurt nodded. "We started talking at Thanksgiving. I, well, Blaine wasn't just my boyfriend Finn. He was my best friend too. And I really miss him as my best friend."
Finn bit his lip before he replied again. "I guess that makes sense, but I just thought that maybe, well, you know… I guess I didn't consider that Blaine could be your best friend and boyfriend at the same time. I kinda thought your best friend was..."
"Oh, oh!" Kurt interrupted, startled. "I love Rachel, I do. And it's been easier living with her than I thought it would be. And she has been really great since the break up, but there are just some things she isn't going to understand, you know."
"Oh, yeah, ok, that makes sense too," Finn said sadly. "I don't know, I guess maybe I thought, well, never mind it doesn't matter. It's not really that important." Finn shook his head, clearing his thoughts. "I'm glad you and Blaine are talking, Rachel and I...well we're still not really quite there you know. And it feels really strange sometimes."
Kurt murmured his agreement. "But you still have Puck, your best friend to talk to, even if you're not talking to Rachel. That's what's been missing for me, since I broke up with Blaine."
"Sure, Puck and I are close, and we've been friends forever, but I don't know if he's my best friend anymore really you know?" Finn pursed his lips and looked at Kurt. "There are just some things I can't talk about with Puck. But there is someone that I trust with everything. And I don't have to worry about feeling silly or stupid when I talk about things that don't make sense."
Kurt's eyes widened, and he reached up and touched Finn's cheek tenderly. "Oh Finn! I'm sorry- I didn't mean to imply that you're not important or that you're not my best friend. I mean if anything, you're more." Kurt took a deep breath before continuing. "You are my brother. I might not always feel comfortable coming to you with my 'relationship' stuff but I know I can bring all the important stuff and all the silly stuff to you and you'll never judge me."
"I wouldn't ever mean to judge you Kurt," Finn promised. "You're so much smarter than I am." He reached up and briefly touched Kurt's hand on his cheek and smiled. "I don't want you to think or to feel that you can't come to me about anything. I might not get it, but I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try real hard Kurt."
"You're smart Finn. You're so much smarter about people, about relationships than I am," Kurt explained as he took his hand away from Finn's face. "I've spent so long building walls, keeping people out, so they couldn't hurt me. It's hard for me to let those down now, to let people in." Kurt smiled at Finn. "You have the biggest heart of anyone I know. You believe the best in everyone; you believe in second chances. And you want to make other people happy, sometimes even at your own expense. Those are things I struggle with daily."
Finn's eyes were damp when he looked up at his brother. "You're amazing. Don't ever let anyone tell you or make you believe differently, Kurt Hummel." Finn closed his eyes to keep the tears from escaping, and he felt himself relaxing and falling into sleep. But as he drifted off, he heard Kurt's reply.
"You're one of a kind Finn Hudson. There is absolutely no one in this world like you."
000
The next several days were a flurry of activity as the Hudson-Hummel's prepared to celebrate Christmas together in the loft. Kurt went to work for a while every day, often taking Finn along with him while Carole and Burt shopped, decorated, wrapped and baked. Kurt worried about bringing Finn with him to work, but Finn was surprisingly supportive and was happy to do little odd jobs for Kurt without complaint. Although many of the other staff at Vogue were not around, Isabelle popped into the office the first morning Kurt brought Finn to work.
"You know Kurt, people are going to think I've got you chained to that desk or something." Isabelle joked as she rounded the corner and saw Kurt sitting at his desk. "Oh!" she exclaimed startled. "You appear to have brought an assistant along today."
"Isabelle," Kurt greeted as he jumped to his feet. "This is Finn, my brother." He gestured to Finn, who took a cue from Kurt and stood up, shaking Isabelle's hand. "My family just showed up on my doorstep last night, surprising me for the holidays."
Isabelle tilted her head as she shook Finn's hand. "So you're the famous Finn Hudson. I've gotta say, even more impressive in person."
Finn blushed slightly and laughed at Isabelle's kind words. "I'm hardly famous; it's gonna be this guy, and Rachel and Blaine...all huge stars someday. And I'll be somebody that they used to know." Finn let go of Isabelle's hand. "The impressive comes from the height. You can tell in pictures that I'm tall, but next to real people, especially tiny people like Kurt here, I look, well…"
"Like Frankenteen." Kurt smirked, lightly smacking at Finn's chest with the back of his hand. "I'll have you know I'm not so "tiny" anymore Finn Hudson."
"Ok, so you're taller now than say sophomore year. But I can still pick you up and toss you around if I wanted." Finn replied. "Look, one handed even." Finn draped an arm around Kurt's waist, pulling their bodies flush together before hoisting Kurt's feet several inches off the ground.
Kurt shrieked as his feet left the ground. "Put me down you goof," he exclaimed, beating lightly on his brother.
Finn twisted and turned his body, as he tried to keep his grasp on Kurt, but protect his body from flailing arms. He took a couple of steps backwards; Kurt still held in place off the ground, his back hitting the door to Isabelle's office.
Isabelle had a hand up to her mouth, trying to hide her giggles. "Oh, boys!" she sang; the pointer finger of her right hand motioning towards the ceiling.
Finn tipped his head back and looked up, noticing for the first time the sprig of mistletoe immediately above his head. His grasp on Kurt loosened, and the shorter boy slid to the ground. Finn felt his cheeks redden as he looked over at Isabelle. He swallowed somewhat nervously. "Kurt…" Finn glanced down to Kurt.
As Kurt's feet hit the floor with a thud, he looked up at the mistletoe, meeting Finn's eyes. Kurt closed his eyes for a second, and then he opened them again. "It's ok Finn," he said breathlessly as he put a hand on Finn's upper arm and reached up on tiptoe to press a chaste kiss to Finn's cheek.
Finn smiled as he felt Kurt's lips against the skin of his cheek. Feeling a little silly, Finn reached out and slid a hand around the back of Kurt's neck, holding him in place, as he turned his head. Kurt's eyes widened in surprise or amusement; Finn couldn't tell. He slid his other hand over Kurt's mouth and winked at the shorter boy. The hand Finn had on the back of Kurt's neck, slid down, to the middle of his back, allowing Finn to tip Kurt back as he brought his lips to Kurt's mouth, covered by his hand.
Kurt's one hand was still gripping Finn's upper arm, and the other flailed about recklessly as Finn dipped him back into the 'kiss'. As Finn pulled away and righted Kurt, Isabelle whistled. "That was some kiss!"
Kurt smoothed down his clothes, not meeting anyone's eyes. "No, some kiss is the one with over 45,000 views on Youtube."
Finn's cheeks reddened again, and he looked down at his feet, scuffing the floor with his shoes. "I thought we agreed not to talk about that again." Finn looked up at Isabelle, who was watching the brothers intently. He smiled sheepishly at her.
"There may have been an unscripted kiss," he explained. "On stage. At a National Show Choir competition. Between me and my girlfriend. The rest of the group may hold me personally responsible for our twelfth place finish."
Kurt shook his head. "Twelfth out of fifty Finn, on essentially our first try. With songs we finished writing the night before." Kurt sighed dramatically and put a hand out to rub Finn's shoulder. "You shouldn't be the sole focus of the blame."
"Well Kurt, I should let you get back to this work you seem determined to finish so you can get home to the rest of your family," Isabelle said as she moved towards her office. She smiled warmly up at Finn as he stepped away from her door. "It was a pleasure to meet you Finn Hudson. Merry Christmas boys."
"Merry Christmas Isabelle," Kurt echoed.
000
Christmas morning, Finn woke up early, easily as excited as any young child that day. "Kurt," he whispered. "Kurt, it's Christmas morning."
Kurt mumbled as he buried in deeper under the covers.
"C'mon Kurt. Time to get up. Time for presents!" Finn was all but jumping up and down on the bed.
"You are honestly like a small child," Kurt grumbled. He threw back his mountains of blankets and stretched.
Finn waited while Kurt put warmer clothes on over the undershirt and boxers he slept in. It had been a little weird at first for Finn when they first arrived, to see Kurt so under dressed. At home in Lima, around the house, even during their lady chats, Kurt usually wore pajama pants and a tee shirt of some kind. But now, during this trip, Finn knew that getting to see Kurt under dressed like that was an indication of the level of trust they shared. It actually made Finn feel good; proud.
They walked into the small kitchen and began preparing a quick breakfast. Although Finn was always anxious to open presents, Finn was also always hungry, so it took priority over opening gifts. Kurt was just finishing up most of the work on a breakfast of waffles, fruit and leftover ham from the night before when their parents appeared in the kitchen.
"Merry Christmas boys!" Carole exclaimed as she hugged Finn first and then Kurt. Burt moved to squeeze their shoulders before sitting down at the small table. Finn brought over the coffee pot and offered it to Burt first. Then he retrieved his own hot chocolate from the microwave and took a sip, setting it down at his place at the table.
Finn stood behind Kurt at the counter and watched over his shoulder as the smaller man sliced fresh cantaloupe and banana before moving to the sink to rinse a small colander of mixed berries. "This looks great Kurt!" Finn offered as he placed a hand on Kurt's shoulder.
Kurt turned and took in Finn's eager and appreciative grin. "Thank you," he replied sliding the berries from the colander to a small bowl. Kurt handed the bowl to Finn, "Put this on the table for me, please? Then come back for the bananas and cantaloupe."
Finn nodded as he fished out a strawberry and popped it into his mouth. Kurt smacked at his hand, the smile on his face and the laughter in his eyes betraying his true emotions. "Save some for the rest of us."
When the foursome finished eating and cleaned up from breakfast, they settled in the living room area of the loft to exchange gifts. Finn made a small pile of presents in front of each of them, while Kurt wrote out all four names, placing them into Finn's Santa hat. This year it was Carole's turn to begin the gift opening.
She picked the gift from her husband first. "Oh Burt," she exclaimed softly as she pulled a beautiful caramel colored wool coat from a large box. Finn's eyes widened but when he saw the knowing twinkle in Kurt's eye, he knew Kurt had at least helped Burt with the gift. "This is so beautiful." Carole said happily as she tried on the coat and added from the bottom of the box a beautiful black, gray, white and caramel check scarf and black gloves both in micro fleece.
Burt opened his gift from his wife. In a beautifully wrapped red foil paper box, Burt discovered a brand new blue and green plaid housecoat, two new pairs of flannel pajamas and a new pair of slippers. "Thank you Carole," Burt said, a funny kind of smile on his face. Finn thought it was sort of a weird gift, but Burt appeared very touched by his mom's choice, so he let the thought drop and smiled large at the elder couple. Burt and Carole embraced warmly; then Burt slipped his feet into his new slippers.
Kurt was next, and he chose a gift that was addressed to him from Burt only. It wasn't really wrapped as a Christmas present at all, but rather, there was a small object inside a royal blue velvet drawstring pouch with a little tag attached. Kurt deftly pulled open and strings and reached into the bag, pulling out something quite delicate looking. "Oh, Dad..." Kurt whispered, his free hand coming up to cover his mouth.
"That was your mom's favorite. I gave it to her our first Christmas," Burt explained, and Kurt nodded.
"I know, she told me each time she put it on," Kurt said softly as he ran his fingers over the brooch. It was silver in color, but Burt explained it was actually a white gold, and was shaped like an old fashioned skeleton key, with gems adorning it.
"I thought since I gave it to your mother on our first Christmas, maybe it was time to pass it on to you on your first Christmas no longer living at home." Burt sighed wistfully. "I know how much you love her stuff, kiddo."
Kurt flew into his father's arms, tears softly trailing down his cheeks. "Thank you Dad," he said before he pressed a kiss to his father's cheek.
Finn could feel a slight heat to his cheeks, but he mostly felt so grateful that he now had this awesome family to share holidays and traditions and pass along such thoughtful gifts like this one. Finn sat back as Kurt leaned across to show off the brooch to his mom, telling the story of when he was a little boy, and his mom would say the key was 'the key to daddy's heart'.
As Kurt sat back, Carole picked up a small box and handed it to Finn. "Open this one first, Finn," she demanded. Finn nodded as he took the present from his mom and looked at the tag; this gift was from just his mother. Finn unwrapped the small box and found a ring inside. It was a gold band with platinum x's etched into it all the way around.
"I probably should have given it to you when you were going to marry Rachel," Carole explained. "But you were still so upset about your Dad, I wasn't sure if you would want it. And I know, you're not even seeing anyone right now, but when the time comes, I would really like it if you wore your dad's ring that I picked out for him."
Finn's eyes were wet and glassy. "Wow, Mom, thanks. I don't know when I'll get a chance to use this again, but, I'd like that. A lot." Finn leaned over and hugged his mother tightly. "I love you, Mom."
Carole smiled at Finn, "I love you too, sweetheart."
Finn closed the box with the ring and tucked it into his pajama pants pocket. He smiled at everyone else. "Who's turn is it now? I forget."
It was Carole's turn again, and she picked up a small rectangular box from Kurt. She slid the blue and white snowflake patterned paper from the box and lifted the lid to reveal a beautiful jade bracelet. "Oh my, Kurt, it's beautiful!" she exclaimed as she took it out and immediately wrapped it around her wrist, Burt leaning over to help fasten the clasp. Finn caught Kurt's eye and smiled.
"Oh, I forgot," Kurt exclaimed. He turned around and pulled up a larger box from behind the couch. "This is also for you."
Carole slid her fingernail across the seam of the white and gold angel print wrap and pulled the paper off to reveal a gorgeous black leather tote with NYADA embossed on it. "Oh sweetie," she chided, "this is fabulous."
On Burt's turn, he chose Finn's gift, laughing as he unwrapped layer, upon layer, upon layer of gold paper to discover tickets to the Cincinnati Red's home opener for the 2013 season tucked into the pocket of a new Red's shirt. "Oh man, Finn this is great. You're coming with me right, son?" Burt asked; his gaze fixed on Finn as he flapped the tickets excitedly in the air.
"Uh, sure, if that's what you want, Dad," Finn stammered. He threw a quick look in Kurt's direction. Kurt was not nearly as territorial over his father now as he had been before, but still Finn didn't want Kurt to be upset. But if anything, Kurt was radiating happiness; his smile the same toothy grin Finn could only count on his hands the number of times he had seen it.
"You called him Dad," Kurt whispered softly to Finn as he leaned in a little closer while Burt tried on his new Red's shirt.
"That's ok right?" Finn questioned, watching Kurt intensely.
"Of course it is," Kurt said as he sat up straighter. He looked at the two gifts sitting in front of him, one from Finn, one from their parents. As he moved to pick up the one from their parents, Carole spoke up.
"If you are choosing that one, you boys might want to open yours at the same time." She shrugged nonchalantly.
Finn whooped his agreement and picked up the identically shaped and wrapped package to Kurt's. The boys counted down together before they ripped into the packaging, trying to race each other. "Holy crap you guys!" Finn exclaimed as his large hands made quicker work of the wrapping than Kurt's. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" He bounced excitedly in his seat, waiting for Kurt to catch up.
"Oh Dad, Carole, this is too much. Just too much," Kurt stammered as he lifted a new IPad in a sleek jade green case out of the wrapping paper. Finn's case was red, to lessen any confusion.
Burt shook his head thoughtfully. "Nah, both our boys off to college in the new year; we've got to send you off right."
Finn looked up at his mom and Burt, noticing out of the corner of his eye that Kurt was also looking at them.
"We just want you to know how proud we are of you, both of you." Carole said softly. "You've both had your fair share of setbacks this year, but you're moving on, and continuing your education and we're just so proud of you; of the men you're both becoming."
Finn swallowed heavily, his eyes feeling moist as he leaned forward to hug his mother while Kurt hugged Burt.
As the settled back into their spaces, Carole picked up her final present, from Finn. She slid a small jewelry box out of the green Christmas tree print paper and lifted the lid to find a jade necklace and earrings set that matched perfectly with the bracelet from Kurt. "Oh Finn, oh boys," she stuttered as she pulled out the necklace and held it out for Burt to fasten around her neck before she fastened the earrings to her ears. Carole gave a sly smile to Kurt. "Thank you Kurt, they're beautiful."
Finn couldn't help but snort. Sure, this would seem like it had Kurt's stamp all over it, but the idea had actually been Finn's. He had spotted the jewelry at a jewelers in the mall, in Cincinnati, when he had gone to get Burt's baseball tickets and shirt. So, he might have consulted with Kurt, but the original idea had been his.
"Actually Carole, it was all Finn's idea," Kurt replied. "I've taught him quite well, if I do say so myself."
Carole beamed as she reached across to throw an arm around each of her sons, pulling them close to her and by default, closer to each other. "I'm so glad we're all together today."
As Carole sat back, Burt reached out to his last gift, the one from Kurt.
"Feels heavy," he declared. He ripped into a corner and pulled away the wrapping paper to find a DVD boxed set of Overhaulin' and a black NYADA ball cap. "This is perfect son." Burt slapped the cap on his head. "When everyone asks, I can say it's the fancy college in New York that is stealing all my money in the name of educating one of my sons."
Kurt looked over at Finn before picking up his final present, the one from Finn. It was small and cubed shaped, wrapped in silver holographic foil with stars all over it. "Left over from Rachel's presents last year?" Kurt guessed.
Finn nodded sheepishly as Kurt removed the wrapping paper. It was suddenly evident that it was jewelry of some kind. Kurt quirked one perfectly groomed eyebrow at Finn. Finn smiled widely in return. Although the box was much too big Kurt couldn't help but joke. "If it's an engagement ring Finn Hudson, I'm afraid my answer will sadly have to be no."
That set Finn, Kurt and Carole off into peals of laughter while Burt exhaled loudly and shook his head. When they settled, Kurt lifted the top off the box to reveal a stunning watch.
"Finn," Kurt breathed. "This is gorgeous. It must have cost a fortune."
Finn shrugged his shoulders as he replied. "I don't have a girlfriend to spend money on this year, and I've been working a lot, thought the least I could do was spoil my family." Finn watched as Kurt ran his fingers over the face of the watch before gently prying it from the box. "Do you really like it?"
Kurt nodded as he moved to fasten it to his wrist.
"Wait!" Finn exclaimed. He reached out and took Kurt's wrist in his hands. He flipped the face of the watch over, "it's engraved."
Kurt brought his wrist up a little closer to his face, "Kurt, now it's your time to shine-Finn." Finn noticed Kurt's bottom lip wobble as he fastened the watch securely to his wrist. When Kurt looked up at Finn, his eyes were red and damp with tears.
"Oh hey, shit Kurt, don't cry," Finn said as he moved to embrace his brother. "I thought it would be something nice, I'm sorry. I was just trying to show you I'm real proud of you too."
"You big lug." Kurt sniffled. "I love it. It's perfect. I just...Finn, ...thank you."
Finn grinned and pressed a small kiss to Kurt's forehead. "Love you little brother, I'm so proud of you. Merry Christmas."
Kurt pulled away from Finn and gestured to Finn's one last present as he leaned over to show off his new watch to the rest of the family.
Finn pulled a large, rectangular box to him and ripped off the red and green plaid paper with a gold ribbon. Once he lifted off the lid, he stared at the contents of the box for a moment, tilting his head to the side.
"Don't you like it?" Kurt asked, worry evident in his voice.
Finn turned and blinked owlishly at Kurt. "I've never had something so grown up before," he explained as he pulled a leather messenger bag from the box. On the bottom right corner of the flip top was a metal plaque insert with his initials FCH. He stood up and settled the bag on his right shoulder.
"A teacher doesn't usually use a backpack to carry things to and from school or class, I thought this would be better," Kurt explained. "You can start using it now at college, if you want." He stood up and adjusted the shoulder strap a little.
The bag felt heavier than an empty bag would though, so Finn flipped open the top and discovered more presents inside.
"Sweet!" he exclaimed as he pulled out first a NYADA coffee mug and then a NYADA hoodie. Finn thrust the bag and coffee mug at Kurt before pulling the hoodie on over his pyjamas. "Perfect fit." Finn pulled Kurt against him in a body crushing hug.
"Merry Christmas, Finn," Kurt said softly. Burt wrapped an arm around Carole, and the two of them watched their sons with tears blurring their visions and dopey smiles.
000
Later that day, Burt sat on the sofa in the living room watching his DVDS while Finn sat on the floor near him, laptops and ipads surrounding him while he set them up. In the small kitchen, Carole and Kurt were cooking with a practiced symmetry that comes with years of cooking side by side but that they had managed to perfect in a handful of attempts. Despite all the differences and the reasons why they shouldn't work together, Burt was often amazed at just how well the four of them slotted together as a family. Kurt would drift in and out of the kitchen, checking on the set up of his iPad and bringing glasses of water to him. Finn would flitter in and out of the kitchen as well, often trying to sneak samples from his mother and Kurt.
When they all sat down to dinner, Burt looked over at Carole, silently communicating with her his intent. They had talked about it; quite a bit over the last few weeks, how they would tell the boys. Burt felt that this moment was the one. Once the plates of food had been reduced to shadows of their once full selves, and everyone was happy and stuffed, Burt reached across and took one of Carole's hands into his own. She stood up and moved her chair closer to his. "There's something I need to tell you boys," Burt began. "I wanted all of us together at Christmas so I could tell you both at the same time."
Kurt sat up straighter in his chair, his eyes focusing on the clasped hands of his father and Carole. A panicked look swept over his face, and Burt wished he could reassure the young man that everything was okay. But the truth was, he couldn't. Burt nodded his head briefly at Kurt, a silent acknowledgement of Kurt's unspoken fears.
"The good news is they think they've got it early." Burt swallowed thickly. "The bad news is that it's prostate cancer." Burt's grip on Carole's hand tightened, and he felt grounded as she placed her other hand on top of their joined ones. Across the table, Finn had covered one of Kurt's hands with one of his giant ones, as well. The taller young man looked pale and shocked at the news, but his focus seemed to be, not on his step father, but his step brother.
Finn bent his head towards Kurt's, his lips moving, speaking softly, words Burt could not make out. But the tears welling up in Kurt's eyes were unmistakable. Burt couldn't help, but smile as Finn slipped out of his chair, kneeling beside his brothers', hugging him tightly. Carole shifted in her seat slightly, bending her head to rest on Burt's shoulder. "We're all going to be fine." Carole's soft voice whispered in his ear, and Burt couldn't help but nod.
"Dad," Kurt's voice cracked on that first word as he looked up from where Finn was essentially wrapped around him, face wet with tears, eyes red and glassy, "how bad is it?" Finn shifted so he was standing behind Kurt's chair, his hands on Kurt's shoulders, squeezing them reassuringly. Kurt reached up and held one of Finn's hand's in his own.
Carole shifted beside Burt, "maybe Finn and I should give you and Kurt some time to talk alone." she whispered. Burt nodded his head and pecked at her cheek as she stood and walked over to their sons. She bent and kissed Kurt on the cheek before folding him into her arms. When she straightened, she put a hand on Finn's shoulder until he turned to look at her. She tilted her head slightly to the door. "Let's go for a walk Finn."
Finn nodded as he bent his head and buried his face briefly in Kurt's hair. He squeezed his brother's shoulders a final time before letting go and following his mother. As he passed Burt, he stopped and hugged the older man gently.
"Just tell me what you need me to do," Finn offered. Burt nodded, grateful for Finn's words and actions already. Finn helped his mother into her new coat before shrugging on his own as the two of them exited the loft.
As the loft door slid shut, Burt stood up and moved to Finn's vacated chair. Before he could say anything, Kurt was out of his chair and into his father's arms, hugging him tightly and sobbing loudly.
"It's okay, Kurt." Burt whispered. "They say they caught it early. My improved diet and increase in exercise are beneficial to my prognosis." Kurt continued to sob, clutching at Burt's shirt. "I'm going to start chemo in the new year. And I'm going to beat this kiddo. I'm a Hummel; we don't let anything keep us down." Burt's own eyes were moist with tears. He honestly had no idea how to comfort his son at the moment.
Kurt's sobs eventually subsided, replaced by hiccups and deep breaths. He pulled away from Burt and pulled his chair closer before sitting down. Kurt reached out for one of his father's hands. When he looked up at Burt, he looked much younger than his 19 years.
"Please don't leave me too, Dad," he whispered as he wiped at his eyes with his free hand.
"I'm not going to leave you kiddo." Burt replied. "And even if I did, you've got Carole now, and Finn. You won't be alone." He smiled warmly at his son. "But I don't plan on going anywhere too far anytime soon."
000
When Carole and Finn returned to the loft, Burt and Kurt had wrapped and put away the leftovers from dinner. They were working side by side at the small sink on the dishes. Finn stepped in to take over for Burt, his mother stepping in to dry while Kurt and Burt focused on putting the dishes away. Once everything was clean and put away, Carole and Burt said their good nights and left Finn and Kurt in the kitchen.
Kurt sat down at the table, staring off at the tree in the living room area of the loft. Finn watched the smaller young man as he leaned back against the counter. He rubbed at the back of his neck nervously.
"You know it's not like junior year, right?" Finn mumbled softly. "If something happens, no one can take you away from mom and me. We're really a family now, and we're going to be here for you and Burt too."
Kurt made a noise that sounded to Finn like a cross between a chuckle and a sob. "I'm also 19 and living on my own Finn. No one is going to make me go anywhere." He looked over at his step-brother. "I know what you mean though, and I appreciate it. I really do. I love that you and Carole are my family now too."
Finn crossed over to where Kurt was sitting and crouched down beside him. "You know I'm here for you, right? Mom and I are going to take care of Burt, and I'll keep you up to date with everything. And if you think there is something we are missing, just let me know, and I'll take care of it."
Kurt nodded weakly.
"How about I make us some warm milk?" Finn offered. "You go get ready for bed, and I'll make some milk and bring it in."
"Thanks Finn, that would be wonderful," Kurt replied.
When Finn entered the bedroom with two steaming cups of milk and a plate of gingerbread, Kurt was already stripped down to his boxers and tee shirt, sitting up against the wall, on top of the mountain of covers. Finn sat down beside him, before handing over the milk. They sat their comfortably drinking their milk and idly chatting about their mutual friends and past Christmas celebrations.
As they finished their warm milk and cast the mugs aside, Finn put an around around Kurt and hugged him close to his body. "Merry Christmas Kurt." He almost didn't hear Kurt sniffle, but when he turned his head, Finn could see Kurt's bottom lip tremble.
"Hey Kurt, come on now," Finn said as he pulled Kurt almost onto his lap, tangling their legs, their arms wrapped around each other.
"Being like this, this is like the weight I look for with all my blankets," Kurt admitted in a hushed tone. Kurt sniffled softly against Finn's tacky Christmas sweater. "It makes me feel safe, protected and warm; I could sleep just like this." He yawned sleepily.
Finn frowned a little. He hated that Kurt needed blankets to make him feel safe and protected. He remembered the times he had slept with Rachel, and how she loved to be wrapped in his arms because they made her feel that same way. Finn thought maybe he could do that for Kurt; wrap him up like that. Maybe help him feel safe and protected, but he had no idea how to ask about it. It wasn't exactly a normal thing you know, to ask to cuddle your brother. But Finn did love to cuddle- he hugged Kurt a little tighter.
Finn noticed Kurt was kind of looking at him funny. "I better go get into my pajamas and wash up before it gets too late." Finn stood up from the bed and grabbed his stuff on his way out. He stood in the bathroom, brushing his teeth and staring at his reflection in the mirror. Was it a silly idea to offer? Should he offer or just do it? Finn shook his head. If it were anyone else, he'd just do it. Ok, maybe not anyone else. However, he couldn't see Puck, or Sam or Mike or any of the guys really talking about how they slept with half a dozen blankets because it made them feel safe and protected. But maybe that was beside the point.
Finn walked back into the bedroom where Kurt had turned out the lights, and had just a small lamp on Finn's side of the bed turned on again. Kurt was laying on his side; one arm tucked under his head; the other draped across his body over the top of the covers. Finn crawled into bed, under just the top cover again, and laid on his side, facing Kurt; his arm pillowed under his head.
Finn cleared his throat nervously. "Uhm, I know this might sound weird," Finn began. "But that thing you were talking about earlier, about the blankets and feeling safe and protected. It's kind of weird, but Rachel kind of said the same thing, about when we cuddled. How my arms, how my cuddling with her made her feel like that."
Kurt murmured his agreement.
"I just thought, maybe, if you wanted, I could do that to you too. No, wait, not to you, but for you." Finn explained. "It just sucks thinking you don't feel that way. And if I can do something to help, I want to."
Kurt turned just his head to look at Finn, his eyes wide. "Finn, are you offering to cuddle me to sleep?" Kurt's expression was not one Finn could easily read. His voice seemed like maybe he was about to make fun of Finn, except, Kurt never made fun of Finn. He was one of the only people who never made fun of Finn.
Finn swallowed thickly and nodded. "Not just to sleep, if that's what you want, we could just cuddle and sleep. I don't know if you're a big sleep mover, but I'm not, not really, once I'm comfortable."
"Huh," Kurt exclaimed, "I'm not sure if I'm a big sleep mover or not."
Finn could feel Kurt's eyes still staring at him. It made him feel very vulnerable, and that was not something he was used to feeling. "Was this a silly idea? It was, wasn't it. Oh god, Kurt, just forget I even said anything." Finn said as he rolled over, facing away from Kurt and burying his face in the pillow.
Kurt's hand was gentle on his arm, and Finn felt his whole body stiffen at the touch. But then Kurt's voice was soft and comforting behind him and so he relaxed a little bit. "No Finn, no. It wasn't a silly idea at all. It was a lovely idea." Finn could hear Kurt breathing behind him. After a couple of breaths, Kurt spoke again. "Would you please turn around and look at me, Finn?"
Finn shifted on the bed again; Kurt had moved a little closer. "It's really sweet, a lovely offer Finn. But I don't want you to do that out of some sort of obligation or something. I know you don't want to cuddle with me. I'm not going to force you to do something you would be uncomfortable with." Kurt was smiling at Finn now. "You're a great guy Finn Hudson."
Finn smiled back at Kurt. "So are you Kurt." Kurt shuffled on the bed a bit and moved to lay back. Finn reached behind him and shut off the lamp. They were quiet for a few moments in the darkness before Finn put an arm across Kurt.
"It's not an obligation, not really." he whispered in the darkness. "And I'm not uncomfortable, I don't think. I actually really like to cuddle and haven't had many opportunities lately." Finn gently coaxed Kurt to shift his body until they were spooned together; or as much as they could be with several layers of blankets between them.
"Is this ok?" he whispered.
Kurt nodded in agreement. "Thank you Finn." His hand came up and lightly stroked at Finn's forearm draped across his chest.
"Good night Kurt."