ok my first story relly sucked, so im going to try to put all i can think of in this new stroy, Thx.

Sheperd: joker what is the damege report?

Joker: sheilds, wepons, and comunications are all of line comander

Maranda: Sheperd what the hell was that?

Sheperd: i don't know the ship was of unknow origens.

Maranda: i think the illusive man is going to want to hear about this.

Joker: Good luck with that, the com relays are down so forget about that.

Sheperd: what about the J25 mass relay?

Joker: Comander, its un explored we have no idea what on the other side.

Sheperd: well it's a risk we have to take, inform garus, tali, legon, grunt, and the dr.

Maranda: of corse sheperd

Joker: comander starting approch.

Sheperd: good work joker.

on the other side of the relay

Admirel Fort: Peti-Oficer Maran!

Brook: YES ADMIREL, IM ONLY RIGHT BESIDE YOU SIR NO NEED TO YELL!

Fort: Maran u always will be the smart ass of the squad wont you.

Brook: you can count on that.

Fort: so what did intel tell us about this relay?

Brook: it seems to be powerd by a energy source of unknow origns.

Fort: well i guess there only one way to know where it goes.

CORETELA: Admrel i would highly protest on your theroy, if this,"relay", relly lead some where that meens some one might try to...

INTERCOM: RED ALERT THIS IS NOT A DRILL RED ALERT!

Fort: whats going on Coretella?

CORETELA: sencers indacate the relay is active and about to recive a burst of energy.

Brook: should i get the squed suited up sir?

Fort: Do it maran.

Brook: don't fire until i give the order, understood?

Squad: Yes sir!

Langly: Nitmare, you know what this is about?

Brook: no all i know is its a red alert.

Fort: Coretela what the hell is that?

CORETELA: a vesale sir, should i open com channel

Fort: ya, give me visuel

Fort: this is Admrel Fort of the UNSC Marine Core.

Sheperd: Comander sheperd of the Alience Navy, and SPECTRE for the Cidadel Concil

Fort: we have no INTEL of you or your milatry, or for that matter no idea who you are.

Sheperd: my ship, the Normandy, is in need of repair if you can help us i would be glad to tell you what i can of where we come from.

Fort: understood, we will send a shutile to pick..

Sheperd: no need we have a shutile i will bring 2 of my crew un-armed and we will tell you what you need to know

ok thats it for chapter 1 plz review