Lord of the Coffee Java of the Ainur

by Lothithil

A Parody of Professor T's magnificent books, written by someone who drinks entirely too much coffee. No potty humour or smut, just lots of cream and sugar and not a little amount of silliness.

1. Chapter 1 By Way of an Introduction

The Lord of the Coffee

A work of infinite impudence and improbable respect

A Tale of Coffee and a Tale of Heroism
Being the Record of Events
Of the Third Age of Coffee of Middle-girth
And the Beginning
Of the Fourth Age of Tea-Time
With buttered scones

This Author humbly acknowledges that
She received all of her inspiration for this corruption of her favourite book
From the Intelligent and Wonderfully Insane
Fan Club Members
Of the Middle Earth Message Boards

You guys Rule!

Theme Song for Lord of the Coffee

Farewells we make,
A Quest we take,
For Cappuccino and
Fresh cake

From Rivendell Perk
To Godivriel's Place
At every stop
We'll stuff our face!

If we run short
Of coffee ground
We'll drink Black Tea
'Til we get wound!

And from our cups
Of DragonRoast
We'll deeply drink
And share a toast!