Mother,

So many things to say and yet you'll never hear them. This letter is to you, mother, to tell you how life has been for me ever since you sent me into the care of Carlisle. At first, I did not understand, I thought you had grown to insanity. After all, never in all my wild fantasies could I believe what he is, what I am, a vampire.

I was ready to go to war, patriot as I was. I don't now how my life would have panned out had that been my course of action. I would probably have died in the field of battle a lonely man, never to find love. Oh, but I have found love now, mother, and glad of it I am to. Isabella is her name, but she is more accustomed to just Bella. She fills me, completes me and at the same time frightens me. If she leaves, I will become no one, a worthless roamer in this lonely world, and I am anxious at the perils that sort of a life brings. Alas, I say this and yet a small twinge at my ice-cold heart reveals that I must let her go for danger holds her to me. Some will protest and say that it is love, not danger but my stubborn mind can't, no, won't listen to them. Every year it seems something else is out to wrench us apart and I cannot bear the thought of losing her. As a child you would try to shield me from the dangers of the world and now it seems they are coming at me tenfold no, not me, us. We are one and the same, inseparable. Did you love father? I do not understand the female mind, even if I can read them so please send me a sign to tell me the answer. I hope you did, I hope you got to experience the joy it brings, the feeling that you are complete, whole. I spent 107 years without that, yet every second without it was worth it, because I felt it with a potency I never dreamed possible.

Your grave is still intact; I have kept it so. Every year I return and place a new bouquet of flowers for you. The rest of my new family don't know that, I would pretend to go on a hunting trip but always give myself enough time to pay my respects. You died to young, mother, and I miss you so. If you were here you would probably say it was gods will and he wanted you yet I disagree; why would he take all the good people out of the world and leave all those who deserve death to remain.

Unless...

Unless life is meant to be a curse to inflict on those who he chooses, is that why I remain alone, without you and father? I want the girl yet can't have her; it is such a hellish existence. Am I destined to forever walk the lonely life of vampirism, never finding true love? Are my sins so great that I deserve that? Oh, so many questions but no one to answer them. You are the only one who could tell me yet I am torn from you for eternity. Never to see heaven or it's inhabitants. For I am a soulless wretch now, Carlisle saw to that. Yet, do not get me wrong, I love him for it, for he brought me to her... Bella. But for her there is a price to pay, if it is my soul then so be it, she may have all of me. However you keep my soul, I give it to you.

We are all soulless, vampires I mean, how can we not when we kill so mercilessly? Yes, I have killed, and I am not proud of it, I believe I have broken almost every commandment there is to break from doing so. No wonder I am to stay here on earth, and live the lives of all those I killed. Repay my debt year by year.

I must depart, I have run out of time, Carlisle will be expecting me back soon and I have to travel a few states yet. I'm sad to say I will not be returning next year, or the year after for that fact...forever. I will never return. It's finally time to let you go and leave you in peace.

Farwell mother, send my love to father for me, I love you.

Your eternal son

Edward

I read the letter one more time before folding it and placing it by my mother's grave. My eyes remained dry as they always would as I turned to leave. I placed the pen I used in my pocket, took one last look at the grave and bid her farwell.

"One day, I will find peace to." I muttered, and began to walk away. "Goodbye, mother, find peace with father, it was nice knowing you for the time I did. Even though the memories are dim. I let you go now." And then I left.

I never returned to the grave of Elizabeth Mason.